I wonder what Whitney Port’s dad does for a living. I assume he’s in the industry because that’d be the only reason anyone would give a bitch like her a chance. That’s not to say she didn’t suck dick to the top, it is to say she’s more useless than a bloody tampon, and I’m not just saying that because she’s on The Hills, my least favorite thing in TV history, I’m saying it cuz watermelon would be a hotter fuck than her….mainly cuz a watermelon has more shape than this dump.

Speaking of suckin dick, I hope she’s got that shit down proper, because she is the kind of girl you only date because you are blinded by the constant blowjobs, and you don’t notice her shitty lookin’ body.

Speaking of The Hills, I made friends with three 17 year old girls who were all dressed the same while wasted on saturday night. They were on a busy street taking a pee beind a fucking bush and I decided to join them. They weren’t too impressed but I think one of them wiped their pee covered hand on mine, a moment I will cherish til the end of time….

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port