I don’t want to ruin your excitement about bikini models, because I know they look amazing in pictures, like their bodies are fucking slammin’ and that’s why they are bikini models. The reality is that I’ve been next to some low level bikini models in my life and bitches are fucking tall and wide, like freaks of fucking nature, that make my 300 pound frame look like a premature kid on his 12th birthday, too weak to open my presents or some shit….

So everytime I see these photoshoots, I know that we’re dealing with some King Kong, caged animal on stage shit for all of us to gawk at in awe of their size…only the kind of King Kong, caged animal on stage I’d want to perform a live sex show like we’re in Thailand with….

On a sidenote I love the action shot I posted as a header to this post, it’s like they are in crisis mode and the hair girl is running as the water girls makes Doutzen wet and knowing these people are the top of their game, like that bitch in the shirt is the best water pourer in the biz, and that they make more than all of us is fucking hysterical, because the core of what they do is really fucking useless in the grand scheme of things…not that you care…go back to masturbating…asshole.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes