I hear Kelly Clarkson gives a much better performance if they rub her mic in bacon fat. Shit drives her fucking bananas and she knows she can’t just run off stage in the middle of a show to pig the fuck out, so she gives it as hard as she can, jacked on pheromones from the smell of her one true love, knowing that if she just makes it thru the next hour, she’ll be in her hotel room bath eating her way thru life in no time. Seriously, at this size, it’s safe to say her love songs are about food, eating and sitting on her fat ass. Either way, it’s always nice to see girls you may have jerked off to become seriously fat chicks, not that you’ve ever jerked off to her, but I’m thinking at least one of you has, cuz I’ve always thought she was disgusting but the hate mail I get about her seems to make me think other people don’t….maybe because she’s the first American Idol representing America with her pant size.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

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