Kelly Clarkson Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

12

Feb

Kelly Clarkson is Lookin’ Good of the Day

I hear Kelly Clarkson gives a much better performance if they rub her mic in bacon fat. Shit drives her fucking bananas and she knows she can’t just run off stage in the middle of a show to pig the fuck out, so she gives it as hard as she can, jacked on pheromones from the smell of her one true love, knowing that if she just makes it thru the next hour, she’ll be in her hotel room bath eating her way thru life in no time. Seriously, at this size, it’s safe to say her love songs are about food, eating and sitting on her fat ass. Either way, it’s always nice to see girls you may have jerked off to become seriously fat chicks, not that you’ve ever jerked off to her, but I’m thinking at least one of you has, cuz I’ve always thought she was disgusting but the hate mail I get about her seems to make me think other people don’t….maybe because she’s the first American Idol representing America with her pant size.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hot|Kelly Clarkson

2009

04

Jun

Kelly Clarkson and Her One True Love of the Day

17 Comments »

All of Kelly Clarkson’s love songs are about food. I think these pictures make that pretty clear. So next time she comes up on the radio, remember that she is singing about a Big Mac, or even a Double Big Mac and not about a guy. Not because there is no guy sick enough to get with her, she’s famous and has a lot of money, a lot of guys would swallow their pride to get with her, unfortunately she’s too busy swallowing two all beef pattties, special sauce, lettuce cheese all fucking day to give their cock’s a chance.

Posted in:Kelly Clarkson|Pig

2009

24

Feb

Kelly Clarkson’s Pretty Fucking Disgusting of the Day

18 Comments »

Remember when you had a thing for Kelly Clarkson and you’d get mad at me for calling her a pig. You know when you thought she was the hottest popstar out there because she reminded you of the girl next door, because in reality, she was the girl next door. I’d say shit about how you can tell she’s a fat chick hiding in a skinny girl’s body because of contracts, I’d compare her to Ruben Studdard and I’d get so much fucking hate, like she meant so much to you, like she represented the American Dream, like thinking she was fat was against god’s way and was unpatriotic because she was an American Idol. Well Guess what, I win.

Well actually it looks like the dessert tray won, you know night after night after night, getting her fatter and fatter until reaching this point of fat, which as far as I am concerned is too fat to be seen in public but just fat enough to marry and and treat like the shit that she is to ensure food is on your table every night while living off her fortune.

Here she is in other clothes, I guess she was so excited to find shit that fit that she couldn’t wait to show the world….

Posted in:Disgusting|Fat|Kelly Clarkson

2007

30

Mar

I am – Kelly Clarkson on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

Fat dudes always wear t-shirts when they go to the beach and Kelly Clarkson is no exception. She knows that she should have an eating disorder and she’s taking action on it by not letting the world see she likes cake. At least her weight problem doesn’t prevent her from having a good time, or from hiring 10 fatter chicks to stand next to her in bikinis in attempts to make her look skinny. It’s like when you shave your pubes trying to make your dick look bigger. I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know that Kelly Clarkson’s legs burn like a middle-aged fat mother of 5 who works at the grocery store and who’s pasty legs never seen the sun in 15 years on a trip she won to Mexico in the local draw. I think being fat and not being able to tan go hand in hand, but I haven’t figured out why but I have figured out that we need a little Katherine Mcphee up in here to show this bitch how an American Idol starves herself proper.