I’m not a cop, I’m not an FBI or CIA agent, I’m not even a recreational private investigator, I’m just a voyeur…a pretty fucking good voyeur with serious paranoid anxiety, especically since the handful of times I’ve been caught.

But based on my expert conspiracy theorist, crazy person opinion…Gisele is a man….You know one of those beautiful trannies from Brazil who you can’t tell are guys until you get their pants off after taking a blowjob from them under the boardwalk of Rio and you aren’t even considered gay when you fuck them up the ass after finding out they don’t have a pussy, because hormonally they are 85% where they need to be…..

I’m convinced Victoria’s Secret fired her cuz we were onto her and they didn’t want further investigation going into the shit. I’m convinced Leonardo DiCaprio dated her when he was experimenting with homosexuality as most actors are in love with themselves and he thought all that jerking off in front of the mirror meant more than meets the eye. Tom Brady married her because he could get away with all his locker room fantasies without being known as the Quarterback who fucks dudes, but as the one who marries models, which works out better during the new teammate initation gangbangs when the team tells each other what they are doing isn’t gay. I’m convinced her pregnancy was staged and a mechanism to trick people cuz she and her man have got a career and image to maintain…..and now she’s got her purse placed in front of her cock cuz she didn’t have time to strap down and was stuck in a pair of tight pants….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Tranny