Jessica Alba got booked to do a photoshoot, something she hasn’t really been asked to do for a while, you know since she committed career suicide by becoming a family woman thanks to an arrogance that came from all the constant re-affirmation, and she looks pissed. The paparazzi say it is because her stylist put her in some half naked outfit, an outfit her body probably can’t handle as well as she’d like it to, or as well as it used to and she proves that by walking around covered the fuck up like a fat chick at the waterpark, with a miserable looking face cuz she clearly didn’t win the fight. It’s a rat race out there and if you wanna make money, you gotta step the fuck up and strip the fuck down like the whore that you and your uterus are….

I’m loving these pictures, but that’s just because I love insecure girls, especially when they were the hot chick, like the time I slammed the captain of the high school cheerleading squad, 15 years after graduation, or what I like to call 15 years of getting fat, miserable, down on your luck, broke and pretty much as gutter as possible….but the whole time her sloppy tits slapped against her chin and I lost feeling from my waist down, I knew what she was and what she became and that kind of sad story will always be porn to me…

So here’s an angry Mom Alba bringing back the memories of what once was…..but she shouldn’t be so nervous and miserable…they are obviously gonna photoshop the shit out of her and the only people who have to see her stretch-maked ass and stomach are the poor fools on set….who I hope hate their jobs enough to leak the un-retouched pictures to me…

Posted in:Jessica Alba