I am not mocking the fact that Michael Douglas is going to die. I mean we are all going to die one day. He is just going to die sooner than us. You know cuz of his whole cancer that’s kicking him in the ass.

I am not laughing at the loss Catherine Zeta Jones and her family are going to feel. I’m a sensitive guy, even if I don’t really get phased by death thanks to my mother dying when I was just a little boy…throwing me into an existance worse than death…

I am just prepping for this hot pussy to be back on the market, lonely and sad, because if you are ever gonna have a chance to get in with her, this is gonna be your time, so work it.

I like Michael Douglas. I think he’s cool shit and based on Catherine Zeta Jones’ tight pants, I’d be more than happy to be his stand-in when he’s gone.

RIP in advance, cuz RIP after the fact is so useless since dead people aren’t knows for their reading abilities.

Posted in:Catherine Zeta-Jones