Catherine Zeta-Jones Archives Archive

2013

10

May

Catherine Zeta Jones and Rooney Mara’s Lesbian Kiss of the Day

This clip is from a movie called Side Effects, that Rooney Mara gets naked in ….but that more importantly…Catherine Zeta Jones tongues.

It may be acting, but I believe their pussies are dripping while shooting this, it makes it better that way. You know, all crazy bi-polar chicks are sexual deviants…it’s all part of their insanity…which is why if you ever get a chance to fuck a bi-polar, do it, it is a lot of fucking fun…even if you may fear your life at times dealing with their crazy….Schizo’s are pretty fun too, it’s like an orgy, multiple people in the body of one person, that sometimes starts out normal, moves onto baby voices, turns into a sexual porn chick dirty talker, and ends up crying like an abused puppy, all in the span of 15 minutes. Fun.

Either way, I guess this was the natural progression for Zeta Jones, you know since she is married to ELLEN….

Posted in:Catherine Zeta-Jones|Rooney Mara

2011

18

Jul

Catherine Zeta Jones Titties on a Boat of the Day

2 Comments »

I’m loving these pictures and I’m not even a Zeta Jones fan…Maybe I like the idea of her becoming a widow and moving on her as I used to do outside funeral homes back when I realized how easy down and out broken down bitches are…especially when they find out their husband was cheating on them for the last decade when going through his paperwork cleaning up after him…leading to anger that’s good for an eager man who happens to be the right place/right time erection she needs…or maybe it’s because of her tits…

Posted in:Catherine Zeta-Jones

2010

09

Dec

Catherine Zeta Jones is the Widow in Training of the Day

4 Comments »

I am not mocking the fact that Michael Douglas is going to die. I mean we are all going to die one day. He is just going to die sooner than us. You know cuz of his whole cancer that’s kicking him in the ass.

I am not laughing at the loss Catherine Zeta Jones and her family are going to feel. I’m a sensitive guy, even if I don’t really get phased by death thanks to my mother dying when I was just a little boy…throwing me into an existance worse than death…

I am just prepping for this hot pussy to be back on the market, lonely and sad, because if you are ever gonna have a chance to get in with her, this is gonna be your time, so work it.

I like Michael Douglas. I think he’s cool shit and based on Catherine Zeta Jones’ tight pants, I’d be more than happy to be his stand-in when he’s gone.

RIP in advance, cuz RIP after the fact is so useless since dead people aren’t knows for their reading abilities.

Posted in:Catherine Zeta-Jones

2010

15

Apr

Catherine Zeta Jones Nude in Allure of the Day

5 Comments »

I was talking to someone yesterday who was telling me that Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas have a house 45 minutes away from my house. I don’t know when they come into town, I’m thinking probably never, because celebrities have property everywhere, but if I ever find out, I expect to get arrested trying to get a similar view as these pictures offer, only I expect my view to me a lot more raw with a lot more post pregnancy labia, a lot less hair, make-up and good lighting, because I like my peeping to be as authentic as possible, without all the smoke and mirrors these magazines pollute us with and I figure I deserve it especially since I’m throwing in the towel on my freedom cuz I will be getting arrested when I get caught trying to pull this off, so I might as well make the shit worth it and the nice thing about getting arrested is that I won’t have to share a bed with my shitty wife anymore….not that I would ever bother trying to peep on Catherine Zeta Jones, she’s a little too old and boring for me, but it was a nice fantasy for a minute, but I think the only hot thing about it was getting taken away from my wife finally….

Here are some Catherine Zeta Jones nude for Allure pics….

Posted in:Allure|Catherine Zeta-Jones|Nude

2007

26

Jul

I am – Catherine Zeta Jones Is A Winner of the Day

1 Comment »

Catherine Zeta-Jones

By the time your read this post, I will be in the middle of a strip search at the airport. Apparently, bull-dyke security guards think white girls in tank tops and yoga pants make excellent terrorists. I am flying to LA today to meet up with an old client, we’ll call him WR. He’s turning 50 on friday, and offered to fly me out to help him ‘celebrate.’ WR was one of my biggest spenders who let me sleep over at his townhouse and paid me extra for it, which i would have done for free (my pimp kept me in shitholes). He has this bending a girl over some sort of rail fetish and fucking her from behind. I am talking the wooden rails on his staircase landings, the stone wall of his ‘front’ balcony, and the fire-scape in the back. I didn’t like the fire-escape: it was too low and metal, and I am not into pelvic bruising , and a few times he pounded me so hard i nearly went over.

WR moved to LA just before I quit the biz of being a true-blue whore. We kept in touch, and I became his sort of confidante. Why is it that when someone shoves coins up your cunt for a while they feel like they have an intimate bond with you? Maybe it’s because you’re their dirty little secret, so they can unburden their own on you without being judged. Or let’s face it, they are fucking lonely.

Now I know I swore off penetration-for-pay a few years back, but there is a loophole. WR’s cock snuggly fills this loophole: my rent is due and LA is my first hometown. Also, WR is twice my age, has insane cholesterol issues, and I am thinking about his will.

If you are gonna judge me for a free vacation and crazy sex for cash, then judge Catherine Zeta Jones also. She married an old man for a contract and popped out as many kids as his decaying sperm could deliver. Here she is with her ample tits and bod at Letterman yesterday. Pretend you are Michael Douglas and you own it. Although I am not impressed with her ass… it’s a little flat.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

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Posted in:Ass|Catherine Zeta-Jones|cleavage|Unsorted

2006

21

Feb

Catherine Zeta Bikini

11 Comments »

As women grow older, they turn from tight bodied little sluts that we all wanna get with, but
are too hot for the average guy into moms, that have thick bodies, drive mini-vans and jiggle in places they aren’t supposed to. As men grow older we get flabby, we get grey, we get wrinkled, we become dad’s, but there is always some fucked up young slut who’s father ran out on her when she was growing up and is drawn to an old guy to support her and knock her up. There’s a whole theory of men agining gracefully…I think girls are just drawn to old men because they are perverts, and you know what, that works for me, cuz the thought of fucking a 35 year old mom totally turns me off….maybe that’s how I became impotent, it’s self induced or someshit….anyway like my granny always said, maybe when I am 60….until then it’s all fresh tail for me. Oh and by the way, that baby has sucked on her tits and you never will. Just reminding you that you are a loser. G’night.

Posted in:Bikini|Catherine Zeta-Jones|Uncategorized|Unsorted