Nude Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Nude Category

2021

03

Dec

Nude Gymnast of the Day

I can’t confirm or deny whether Larry Nassar is responsible for these pictures….but I will say that it is rumored this is an Olympic Gold Medalist in post sexual assault recovery. You know putting that trauma to work…

Every girl out there has nudes, it’s just in their nature and a product of technology, why fuck when you can just send multiple people nudes to masturbate to you, you know because it is just a nude body, who cares right..

Well, I care to look at it, so I guess they are doing good things for the people…in a pervert generation of perverts…on both ends of the slutty selfie…and I love nudes…SEND NUDES…it’s the foundation of everything I represent, so I am into it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Nude

2020

22

Jun

Potentially the Actress Cast as Lady Diana Nude Selfie of the Day

I don’t know where this picture is from or really who this is a picture of.

It is circulating the internet as the actress hired to play Lady Diana in an upcoming biopic that may or may not be for Lifetime, but could be higher profile. Who knows, or cares…

It could just as easily be a picture of a crack whore who just had a rough night of crackwhoring after 4 months off crack whoring because the regular clients are too busy being locked inside with their family to grab that 20 dollar blowjob….despite the crack dens still being open because crackheads don’t like to follow social distancing rules…they need the fuckign crack….crack is recession proof….

No matter who this is, or how hard they are pushing their OnlyFans, they’re looking rough…but that could just be me being judgemental as I try to figure out a hip to waist ratio of 0….does that make her a man? I don’t know.

Posted in:Nude

2020

13

Feb

The Best Nudity with Food of the Day

Are you all foodies? Do you remember a time when being a foodie wasn’t something for the BROS, it was for the metrosexual, cultured and sophisticated. A passion for finding exotic ingredients and having real cultural experiences when seeking out the authentic recipes around the world….and then social media happened and the bros of the world started becoming more and more queer as their shorts got shorter and shorts and next thing you know they are all trying to be Gourmet, using exotic or ingredients they foraged or got at a market…caring about flavor instead of caring about getting drunk at a kegger and fucking the cheerleaders with their boys. It’s been a weird transition….

That said, when it comes to girls posing with food, I can say that I am a foodie. Big fan of foot on genitals….but I am also obese…and a pervert so this works for me.

I’ve seen this trend of girls using fruit in front of their pussy, or tits, or whatever to be artistic and high concept, you know a split cantelope instead of their spread labia…..takes it from selfie porn to high concept….easy…without any fucking effort….

For Valentine’s Day, show your girl, or the crackwhore you recruited, this post and tell them that this is the art you want o create with them, get them nude in whatever ditch you are fucking them in and throw some salami, or bologna, or spray cheese at them…and make some fucking white trash magic happen….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Nude

2020

23

Jan

Guess the Leaked Nudes of the Day

These are pretty old and you’ve seen them before. BUT why bother posting new shit. I wouldn’t want you to get confused and think that we’re relevant…or that we’re the next INSTAGRAM….

The tits are good though, even if the owner sucks, so I am putting the power in your hand to guess the leaked NUDE….because you probably won’t be able to figure this one out since you’re not some virgin loser asshole who sits on the computer all day staring ant slutty pics of celebs….you’re more respectable than that..

We call this “tactics of a girl trying to make it in Hollywood”….and her tactics worked because she’s made it in Hollywood…at least by a typical actor’s definition of making it in Hollywood which means starring in mindless comic book shit that still generates big money and that makes her big money after all these years of basically fucking sucking.

I am not a fan, but her tit’s great and I guess that’s a good thing because good tits, like a good carpenter are hard to come by…but not hard to come to.

This is also a nice reminder that leaked nudes at the right time in your career work, because these are probably 3 or 4 years old at this point, but look at her now…an Oscar winner, selling out those CHINESE theatre tickets, getting paid all while having no integrity or talent but great tits man…great tits are great.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Nude

2010

14

May

Seth Green’s Wife Topless of the Day

Naked pictures of Seth Green’s wife is doing the rounds and if you’re wondering why any self respectful woman who moved to Hollywoods in hope of fame because she believed she had what it took to be the next big thing, but realized that for every young starlet, there’s thousands of aspiring losers competing for low level jobs they hope will get them notice or at least on camera….and some even agree to do nude pictures on their quest for fame to pay their rent, while other’s date obscure actors who can only get groupie pussy with a dream, and people like Clare Grant do both…

That’s not to say that a rich, famous, awkward Seth Green shouldn’t get pussy becuase all famous people always have a pipeline of fucking pussy, but it is to say if he wasn’t famous or rich and just the funny kid in the back of her high school class, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day or even consider let him go down on her for hours at a time cuz he’s excited life has worked out for his dork self…

So here she is naked, cuz that’s what Desperate fame whores do before they get into the right circles and meet the right people who find them hot and who they trap and marry when they have the chance to get them to a higher profile…and the whole thing is pretty fucking obvious…

Posted in:Clare Grant|Nude|Seth Green|wife

2010

13

May

Christina Aguilera’s Other Nude GQ Issue ics Suck of the Day

I want my money back….well….I didn’t actually pay money for the latest issue of GQ where Aguilera was on the cover totally naked but strategically placed, but if it was shrink-wrapped like the fetish porn mags I used to buy, I would have been fucking disappointed with the inside shots. See if she is naked on the cover, she is supposed to be more naked on the inside, I’m talking spread the fuck eagled. No, dressing her up in horse fetish gear I see the local hipster weirdos wearing to local parties doesn’t cut it….that’s just on some Lady Gaga “Let’s be shoocking” bullshit that doesn’t let me jerk off to her ripped apart mom pussy or even her fake tits, which basically means a fucking fail….

The only good news is that the photographer has pictures on his hard drive of her cunt from when they were trying to get the cover shot, and that means that there is the possibility of a “Leak” or “stolen computer”, and I hope I somehow get involved in that scandal….

But the bad news is that so many celebs have had naked covers, or strategic nude pics where they cover their cunts, and the unedited raw images never get leaked…

Damn photographers, trying to be professional and get future work while not giving the public what we want….Selfish Assholes….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Nude

2010

12

May

Christina Aguilera’s Nude Mom Body Does GQ of the Day

I was always more of an X-Tina fan than a Britney fan. I was into her small hispanic single-parent tight body. At the time I thought X-Tina Aguilera was a one maybe two hit wonder. I was so convinced that I used to make drunken bets with the drunks I hung out with about how she’d be some gutter pig 10 years down the road, who had burned through her one or two hit wonder money, and who would be easy to fuck if you had a couple bucks for her to use to fuel her drug addiction.

I figured the only challenge was going to be finding her…..I was convinced I was going to get a chance to try to impregnate her before finding out she had a hysterectomy due to HPV she caught on the streets singing into stranger cock and unfortunately I was wrong, because if I was right, it’d be a lot more fun that this 10 years later cocktease…..

She’s making a comeback after having a kid with the ugliest human alive, and she’s making us forget she has a kid with the ugliest human alive, because she’s getting naked and photoshopped for GQ, and I guess it’s better than her laying low in shame like she has the past few years…cuz nakedness is nakedness even if is staged in a way I can’t see cunt lip or nip. Tease.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|GQ|Nude

2010

05

May

Heather Morris is Some Bitch from Glee and She’s Nude of the Day

I had the horrible experience of watching Glee for the first time a week ago. I got invited to someone’s house for dinner and their 16 year old daughter was running around going nuts for the shit and not in a 16 year old daughter running around in her panties with her friends having pillow fights with their perky little bodies kinda way but more like the in the fat, obnoxious, miserable 14 year old spoiled brat who listens to too much hip hop, dates black dudes and will be pregnant in 6 months cuz she’s gutter and disgusting kinda way….

Either way, she got her way and they put the shit on and I had to sit through a group of rejects singing bullshit songs I don’t even listen to the original version of. It was like bad comedy and bad drama with obnoxious performances every few minutes that made me want to kill my fucking self….

I don’t remember noticing this bitch, but in her defense I was too busy trying to shove the chopsticks we were eating with in my eyes and ears at the same time… but in my defense she’s ugly and even her tits don’t get my attention long enough for me to remember who I am writing about but in her defense I am a forgetful drunk who doesn’t remember anyting but in my defense she’s nothing special….

Posted in:Glee|Heather Morris|Nude

2010

04

May

Helena Christensen Nude for Reebok of the Day

I’ve been spending a few years watching bitches run. I figure I am not about to get in shape but watching girls trying to gets kinda exciting, especially the hotter it gets outside and the less clothes the bitches wear. I see girl in tight shorts, tight pants, sports bras, hard nipples, sweaty pussy….I’ve seen bitches running bare foot, but I’ve never seen anyone run nude, but I’m hoping this influences some of these idiot groupies who think this is a new trend in running and not just a publicity stunt for running shoes….even though I know the second the spandex and lycra comes of – the scarier those fit looking asses become…but I’m okay with that….

Either way, here’s retired supermodel Helena Christensen doing the right kind of comeback work.

Posted in:Helena Christensen|Nude

2010

16

Apr

Kim Kardashian Nude and Talking Bullshit in Bazaar of the Day

It amazes me how far this pig has gone. From naked in a sex tape, or as she likes to tell herself it, her first serious acting role in a period piece, where she had played the urinal in the negro bathroom back in slave country during the 50s….It was all in hopes of being as popular as her ex-BFF Paris Hilton and it landed her a TV show and she became a household name all because her fat ass distracted people from her ugly man face enough to remind people like me how retarded the world must be to make cunts like this money….and now she’s stripped down again in some magazine where she looks like shit, and pretends to embrace herself and love herself while tricking America into believing her, because you have a short attention span and if she says it today, you forget her entire history as a money making, bullshit smelling and bullshit colored, tacky piece of trash….but she’s naked and that’s probably all that matters for you…

To see the other naked celebs you don’t care about in the issue follow this link
GO

Posted in:Bazaar|Kim Kardashian|Nude