I can’t hate Ireland Baldwin because we are both Pug Whisperers, you know people of the Pug, who unfortunately have been trapped by their flat faced spell, but I wouldn’t hate on her even if she wasn’t a pug person, like me.

In fact, I would celebrate the fact that she’s young, almost 18, a person of interest thanks to her famous parents and the scandal that arouse during their divorce. I would celebrate the fact that she’s likely not a virgin, as no one is, and that between now and her 18th birthday nothing will change in terms of what she looks like, making her a little less creepy to lust after, you know she’s on the cusp and by the time the lawsuit went through, she’d already be 18, making the jury have a hard time charging you with your sex offending ways you hebephile.

Not to mention, she’s 6 foot 2 and could pretty much beat the fuck out of you, which to some of you, that may be part of her appeal, but to me is just a good reason for legs, legs that will likely be a swimsuit model one day, because these Hollywood brats aim high career-wise.

These pics from her instagram include being high on 4:20 at Disney, like all 14-18 year olds should be on 4:20, an activity that embarrasses me when adults partake, but more importantly, the motherfucking bikini.

Here’s the future, 6 months before it happens.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin