Doutzen Kroes is a mom and I generally hate moms, but she is also a bikini model and I generally love bikini models, or at least looking at their amazing bodies in bikinis, because that’s what they are designed, built, trained to do, in ways that make me ignore the fact that babies have crawled out of their womb, unless I am using it as a reference point to tell all the dumpy, loose stomach moms at the public pool that they are just fucking lazy bitches and I tell them to google girls like Doutzen Kroes to see why.

All this to say, she’s ripped, she’s good, she’s in a bikini, I am into stepfathering her black baby, if she wasn’t so smitten with her DJ husband, who probably bangs all the DJ whores on the road, cuz you know what they say, even if your wife is Doutzen Kroes, she still becomes a naggy cunt you’re bored of fucking, which makes me anxiously await her divorce….not because I think I’ll get with her, but because I frown on love and happiness.

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