I think I just fell in love with Selena Gomez…all it took was a few months to forget she scissored with Justin Beiber in some of the gayest lesbian sex ever…but more importantly it took some touring to shed that pesky 10 pounds of weed and prescription pill weight that was holding you down and making her not very amazing to look at in a bikini in Springbreakers….

She’s the kind of girl I want to sing love songs, written by a team of a dozen people, set up by the record label, in efforts to sell millions of copies, like I am some kind of money making puppet, because she’s into those kinds of long songs…and maybe, just maybe, we’ll scissor one day too…cuz I am an inny not an putty.

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