Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who found the man who I assume she was a fan of. You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, you know just by sliding her hands in her panties while reading one of those teen beat mags…waiting for it to start to tickle….leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up…

If it works for them, it works for me, but I prefer divorcees who failed at the whole marriage thing…they are far more fun to have sex with than those in lockdown…because they take far less work to convince…but I’ll still try to stare at any panties I can. That’s my commitment to panties.

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