Porker Jessica Simpson thought it would be a good idea to wear a see through dress and a pair of what must be the most shapeshifting SPANX available on the market, in what is a nice new chapter in the story of a popstar daughter to an exploitative, drawn to the bright lights of Hollywood, closet case preacher from the south…turned child star, busty singer…reality show star married to a boy band…who humiliated herself weekly…before becoming morbidly obese, striking a deal with Weight Watchers, only to get knocked up as many times as she could to not live up to said deal…until finally getting as fit as she could…thanks to a new pro athlete husband, and piles of money made from both her music and her gutter K-Mart brand smutty fat chick clothing…that could afford a trainer and nutritionist in her mansion…hell, just cutting the cost of her nightly Texas BBQ that got her in her fat mess to begin with was likely enough to create this…mid 30s…ass flashing…queen.

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