There was a story that came out yesterday about Lindsay Lohan, who is some identity crisis you may remember from Mean Girls, because today is National Mean Girls Day, I only know that because I creeped her Instagram, I have never actually seen mean Girls…and this isn’t about Mean Girls…it’s about Lohan…
So she was apparently in TURKEY being ARAB, where she stuck her RING FINGER into some boat engine or something and Lost part of her RING FINGER in what I would assume was her being dramatic and trying to get back at her really rich Russian Fiance…because Lohan is just that kind of bitch..
I remember talking to someone who was at a party with her many years ago in LA, some rich person trendy person after party…and Lohan was sitting on the couch alone…playing with a kitchen knife…looking off into the abyss….because she’s fucked in the fucking head…and still is…
It stems from being whored out by her family, raped by the media, in an industry that fucked her head up hard….but at least she’s got a sense of humor…
I was trying to get my friend to write a top 10 things LOHAN can’t do without her fingers….they never wrote it and I don’t do top 10 lists of clickbait…I find them dumb, she only got “she can’t hold the coke straw anymore”….and I added “she’ll be able to fist Sam Ronson easier”…but ended with that…
It turns out the best LOHAN losing her finger joke was from LOHAN herself…in the caption on this picture of “ONE HANDED SELFIE”….what a joker…
TO READ THE ACTUALLY LOSING HER FINGER STORY VIA TMZ
Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW