I don’t know when these Lohan pics are from, but according her her instagram, she’s working for home, and considering she doesn’t work, we can assume this is what she considers work, while in self isolation….

Take the slutty pics, remind us all that we love Lohan, even with the muppet face, the pale and gross freckled chest, the fake tits…..she’s still a fucking legend.

I never found Lohan hot, but I did choose her as my celebrity target when I started the site, Perez Hilton had Paris Hilton and it was decided that I go after Lohan….so by default…Lohan will forever be the spirit animal behind DrunkenStepfather.com even if we’re not friends, we don’t hang out, we aren’t in self-isolation together…taking saunas and shit….while she’s out in Dubai with extremely rich people financing her and possibly shitting on her….

So it’s nice to see she’s still doing good things….by slutting it up…because really that’s all any girl needs to do to generate some buzz….and get some money in

All those subscription sites are going to multiply while girls start losing part time jobs in retail, restaurants and bars….or in Lohan’s case….and Lohan is feeling the same hustle….

She’s looking good, and I expect her to win an Oscar in her lifetime…always rooting for this firecrotch. It’s almost my life work at this point…15 years in.

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Lindsay Lohan is finally figuring out social media the way I want her to be using social media – and the way all the kids are using social media – naked…

It’s obviously a social norm at this point in the game, where we are just used to posting up our nudes, and by we, I mean ladies, cuz I don’t think the world deserves to see my strategic nudes…they are just too high concept for the public to grasp…and they may in fact be terrifying…

Point being the nude selfies obviously allows the people who take them to showcase their nudes, their vulnerability, while getting turned on that they are sending out the nudes to their audience, it just amplifies the whole nude selfie experience…knowing so many people will see it, rather than be nervous about it when they send it off to one dude they are masturbating for….

It’s a “I may delete this later, but fucking take it in the way I want you to take it in”…

I have big hope for Lohan – her comeback is coming soon.

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Lindsay Lohan Forever.

If you’ve been reading this site for the last 15 years, you will know that Lohan was my hook for the site, she was probably just 18 at the time, at the peak of her career and I started posting the Lohan content….I was alway TeamLohan, I always had big hopes and dreams for her, and I still believe that she will win an Oscar cuz she is raw, trained talent….I watched her breakdowns, crazy episodes cuz bitch is crazy, I saw her ups, her drama, her messes that were huge messes and I found it fascinating.

A girl who had the world ahead of her, taking a fucked up route, and always carrying her rockin’ tits along for the ride…

If I ever won an important award, but at my scale of celebrity and importance, it will probably be a very insignificant award, maybe a participation trophy at the county fair….I will thank Lohan for making it all possible…we may not be connected at the soul…but we could be…she may not be my spirit animal..but I think she is and that’s what matters….

Hot Lohan Tits Forever….

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Lindsay Lohan is an angel sent from heaven…the dream girl, the one I feel most connected to for no actual reason other than I like saying it…we’ve watched her grow up, we’ve seen her tits get bigger, and we’ve seen her near death, but then make what could have been a comeback but that is totally not a comeback at all…still crazy, still a mess, still a disaster, only now older, more haggard, jacked up with Plastic Surgery, and for years she had been keeping to herself, under the radar barely offensive in her self destruction, or what I guess we could call her coming of age, figuring herself and life out as the world was unfair to her by giving her so much then taking it away…and I guess now she’s back to crying for attention as women do…especially ones sold out as kids who don’t really get it…but know that people stop caring real fast…and they do it in slutty photoshoots like this…for fashion magazines like this..and the key to all of this is to remember one very important thing…she’s LOHAN…a god…to all..

She’s boxy, but busty, she’s weird and from afar she looks good…and that’s good…because she’s Lohan..our queen.

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Lindsay Lohan is such a fucking weirdo…with brown looking teeth….and her raspy voice and doughy injected face….but I find her inspiring and you should too..

Because there’s nothing more erotic than a woman in the Kitchen, doing domesticated shit she probably never saw her own mother do, because they were Hollywood trash living the life of luxury early on in her life, and I guess cooking brings her peace and serenity and is therapeutic, not as much as all the medis she’s on…but therapeutic none the less..

She is the goddess Lindsay Lohan looking for nromalcy while being Lindsay Lohan…and for some reason I always like when a bitch cooks..I call it being a dude…with mommy issues…

She’s so hot, I like to start everyday with Lohan

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Lindsay Lohan is a magical creature sent from heaven, who must be an angel, not just because of how she makes me feel, but because she’s not dead, not because to live is to die…and dying is part of living…but LINDSAY LOHAN has been dying pretty hard since she was about 20 and is actually amazing that she’s still alive…so amazing that she has to be dead…

It would explain her career….it would explain her celebrity….it would explain why her parents don’t care about her, she was a commodity and she still is….out there navigating the world alone….showing off her ARMPIT titty…a place where TIT doesn’t need to be, but for armpit fetishists, is as wonderful as Lohan fake Titty once was – despite being her sex appeal’s pretty dead….she can still remain a fetish…

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Lindsay Lohan in bathrooms with friends….and the only Lohan bathroom story I have is when I hung out with her – one time in my life – a while ago – around the start of her collapse – which was the single greatest day of my life – but probably not of her life as she knew the end was near…

Well, she locked herself in the bathroom with a friend I ended up sharing a cab home with, and came out an hour later…at around 4 in the morning…rockin’ out…girl was in Pajama pants singing and dancing and it was glorious because you see…she was in there doing her medicine and it really brought her to life…creepily but still iconic…so seeing her in the bathroom, with a snap filter instead of her botox face filter is nice…

But seeing her in this weirdo shoot…is better…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

It’s my birthday – so why not celebrate rotting – like the corpses we all are…with LINDSAY LOHAN in a bikini..

To live is to die…and dying is part of living…and LINDSAY LOHAN has been dying pretty hard since she was about 20 and is actually amazing that she’s still alive… despite being her sex appeal’s pretty dead…in a bathing suit…and not YESTERDAY’s BURKINI…

She’s only 30, which is old, but not that old….but her body due to the years of abuse…looks bloated and broken and weird…a little fitness could do her some good…but instead she’s barrel bellied like a pug…the way I like my women….

Here she is…a gift to me…and a gift to all of you…

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I figure if you’re a devout muslim, and your religion requires you to cover yourself up you shouldn’t be banned from the other joys of life, like playing around on the beaches of Thailand where little boys dress like girls and British men fuck them….it kind of takes the beautiful setting and landscape of Thailand…and taints it…..

So the Burkini makes sense to me, you know some fully clothed swimming….who the fuck cares if someone wears a fucking snowsuit to the beach…it doesn’t matter…

I figure if Lindsay Lohan is in a burkini doing a burkini shoot, she’s either helping out a friend, mocking the Arab Nation because she’s Lindsay Lohan, and everything about her is pretty much against all religion….but she is an actress and believes…

It’s just too bad that even in a burkini, while covered up, she looks like a bloated mom after the Christmas holidays in her sweat suit…not quite the bikini I want to see her Lohan implants in…

But the good news is she’s full of shit, this works for her for now, but soon enough she’ll be out in a regular bathing suit….like 5 minutes after this shoot….because that’s how ARAB she is….

I am not against any religion, but I don’t like all religion, Science debunked it and seeing these believers makes me think they are either lost souls, dumb, or full of shit….like Lohan in her Burkini…mocking for attention, a little PR hustle, while really believing in the 10,000 bucks the burkini company is probably paying her to be their spokesperson….

I guess what it comes down to is that this is the highlight of my day – and if everyone wore a burkini, maybe I’d be able to jerk off again…to normal things…like a woman’s ankle…or pussy definition in a bikini…or the lingerie catalog…and I won’t need spread asshole anymore or insertion and throat fucking anymore..I’ll be reset and back to normal..because all these girls naked all the time is desensitizing me.

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