Dakota Johnson is still in a bikini in Miami…in fact, she’s been in 10 bikinis in the last few days, because she’s clearly working with the paparazzi to get press, to get in to the media, to promote 50 Shades because 50 shades of a waste of my fucking time because the story and the sex in that shit is too lame for me, and the fact some weirdo internet woman make hundreds of millions off it is too irritating for me….
So they are like “hey Dakota, we’re going to send you to Miami, not to mourn your dad’s only relevant role in his career, that put miami on the map, making him the ambassador of miami….and you the princess of miami….but to GET paparazzi bikini pics for people to stare at your ass, hopefully want to fuck you, and go buy movie tickets to jerk off in theater like PeeWee Herman. THink of this as foreplay, yes we don’t advocate people jerking off in public to you, but if it happened it would be a good sing that at least someone finds you hot, plus they paid for the ticket to make it happen, and we need all the ticket sales we can get”……
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