Whenever I watch Julianne Hough…not that I ever watch Julianne Hough…it’s not like I park outside her house in a van, or that I’ve paid her pool guy or maid to install hidden cameras, I live in fucking Canada, I don’t even know where this Julianne Hough lives, I’m assuming LA, I mean why else would the paparazzi have so many pics of her, it’s not like she actually matters that much….I digress.

When I see Julianne Hough…I think about the incest with her dancing brother, you know because they are from some weird religious cults, and incest is one of those things that happens in religious cults….but more interestingly…I think about Ryan Seacrest, her public boyfriend, who she dated…and who I know first hand account dirty stories of…like real dirty stories of…and that I can assume can be applied to this one…you know good little religious girls are never so religious….

I remember hooking up with a weirdo catholic chick years many years ago…and she was fucking crazy…fucking Jesus statues to defy her mom and shit…while Mormon..that’s a whole other pile of shit…if you’ve ever seen Mormon underwear…you’ll know what I mean…

No more Mormon underwear for this Julianne Hough…would make her leggins fitness ass look bad…can’t have that…this is Hollywood yo.

Posted in:Julianne Hough|SFW