Helena Christensen, the girl you jerked off to in the Chris Isaak’s video, I am pretty sure that was her…

Well, she’s old as fuck, almost 50, maybe 50, I don’t fucking know.

I just know she used to be a Victoria’s Secret model, she’s from Denmark, so she’s a Danish you KETO dieters on see all over social media can eat, I mean if you’re rich and famous….she apparently dated the INXS singer who auto-erotic asphyxiated himself like the people who killed Bourdain wanted you to think he did….when any seasoned Auto-Erotic asphyxiator would know to take a breath or release the tension on the belt before it was too late….she also has a kid with Norman Reedus…if that excites you….as it probably does cuz you’re a queer.

Well, she’s in a bathing suit, doing her old VS modeling tricks, because when that’s all you really know and are trained to do…you just keep doing it until you hit the old folks home…it’s pretty much the same logic I put into updating this site…what the fuck else am I gonna do with my time…something productive? That makes me rich? Fuck that.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Helena Chistensen|SFW