Hey Perverts…Do you know what you need…a Hand Free Male Masturbator so that you can keep your hands busy searching for the best pics of your high school girlfriend’s now married vacation pics…I know why social media got so popular you perverts wanting to see people in your real life in bikini…for masturbation purposes is why.

So for under 20 dollars, you can be fucking something that probably feels good, if you put shame and dignity aside…I mean we are in the future where technology allows us to replace women and their annoying and expensive ways with a nice feeling lifelike pussy and mouth…so long as you get over the whole washing it out.

I mean I had a rubber pussy once, I actually have a box full, and one night I decided to fuck it….only to realize it felt amazing and I knew it would be a problem, but I didn’t think the real problem would be busting inside it and having to hose it fucking down…only to be walked in on by my roomate at the time’s girlfriend…who decided to snap a pic off and show everyone they invited in….

It’s one of those small prices to pay for masturabtion made better I guess…and once I owned it…I realized that all those people were just jealous of my confidence in myself to fuck a masturbator….a prosthetic without looking to themselves to realize that they to are capable for fucking anything and everything….and a lot of them had…just not opening in conversation.

It was the pre internet / jerking off was seen as a loser thing to do…even though everyone was doing it….

If you’re not into Male Masturbators…you can always get yourself the best vibrating cock ring …that I don’t know from experience, because I don’t fuck with cock rings, but one of my longest running advertisers was one back in 2004…..the same year I gave up on erections and turned to blogging…but I hear they are good, and give your girl a little clit stimulation, assuming you have a girl….which you probably don’t so you can just use it on yourself…or wear it out in public, you know test it out because maybe they are the secret formula I need. Why don’t you try them out for me…maybe wear one to work, or to the gym to really get it’s intended impact.

10% OFF coupon code: drunkenstepfather at beyourlover.com for any product. All items are free shipping.

All this to say….Get your Hand Free Male Masturbator NOW!!!

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