Kate Upton, who is now a mom, brought out her tits in a bikini. She did it with her arms pressing into the tits to give them some perk. Some old slutty tactics to give tits pop. “Oh let me just hold this drink in a way that squeezes my massive fat tits together for the photo”. Tactics she has to take because otherwise people could lose sight of the focal point and instead notice that she’s not hot.

I’ve been a Kate Upton hater since the day she happened. I wasn’t against the big tits, just the hype that was around her. People everywhere praised her for being this hot young thing, and I was like “do they not realize she’s a fat chick, boxy, with a shitty midsection, shitty legs, a shitty ass, and this is her at her best…she’s just going to get more and more disgusting as time goes on”….and I was right…she was plus sized they squeezed under the radar like Upton squeezed into size large bikinis, and every dude…blinded by tits…praised her…called me a faggot for calling her fat…it was a dark time for me….

I realize, what Upton realizes and that is that you can buy a career when you are rich from your Grandad inventing Whirlpool, but also that tits get hits and America loves tits, so if you can be the set of big tits America loves…you’re good to go.

I’m not saying that Upton is the UGLIEST OUT THERE. I am not saying her tits are bad or that the bikini pics aren’t welcomed for old times, I’m just saying that even at her best…she wasn’t that great…you’re just a bunch of bros who are like “oh yeah…tits”.

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Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW