Rihanna’s got some titties….because she’s older, lazier, fatter…she doesn’t bother with that whole singing and dancing bullshit that made her, she’s got all the money in the world that she needs, plus her lingerie product line has basically replaced Victoria’s Secret and is a massive company in its own right, so she can just sit there getting fat but not turning her back on her humble beginnings of being a sex worker….

Now I don’t know for a fact whether Rihanna was actually a sex worker, I just know I met a Bajan man at a Caribbean restaurant who told me all these stories about the Karaoke bars that the British tourists frequent for some underage sex tourism in Barbados….and he made a pretty convincing case for Rihanna being one of those underage girls….

Basically, she had almost no talent, there was a video of her singing at her High School that got erased from the internet but that was REALLY fucking bad. Her dad was addicted to crack. She lived in an abusive home. She got an “audition” at 13 or 14 in the dude who “discovered” her’s room, they make a point of saying that her mom was present, but usually when they make a point of saying that, it is because the mom wasn’t present….then there’s the whole she was imported to the USA at 14 or 15, a high school drop out, totally cleared at customs with work visas in place, it just seems so fucking suspicious…

I guess none of the origin story really matters, because she’s Rihanna, still sexualizing herself into her 30s and looking great nipples first….still amazing…

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