\It’s safe to say that if you’re not at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico or the Dominican this Holiday season, you’re a failure, because it’s really not all that expensive to hunt down some tanlines of your own.

I am not at an all-inclusive resort this holiday season, but I did know some pervert who would spend 2 months every winter in the most gutter Cuban resort you could imagine, fucking Cuban hookers that were pretty run through, making them his girlfriends for the month he was there, because alternating pussy was too much effort when he could just stick with a fat, old, reliable one.

Living the good life….catching AIDS the right way, in a tropical setting, the way the monkeys intended when they created it in a lab to kill the gays and sell meds.

So my tanlines come from girls with tanlines posting on the internet, whether they are authentic or out of jar, cancer causing or marketed as cancer causing because they want to terraform the earth to adapt to their lizard DNA and they need to dim the sun to do it….don’t matter to me, so long as it highlights the good parts…

Posted in:Tanlines