Maddie Ziegler is technically a professional dancer. I don’t really know what that means, since most of the strippers I’ve had lap dances from and even the ones I haven’t had lap dances from and even the one who charged me 100 dollars to make herself squirt in the VIP room, which was basically her peeing all over the VIP room, all thought of themselves as professional dancers.

Dancing is stupid, so if you get paid to move around like a fool without feeling shame or embarrassment, then you are a professional dancer.

If you go to school for dance, you’ve got to be some kind of idiot, but that’s ok, if the stars align properly, you’ll be a stripper too.

In Maddie’s case, she was in child dance reality shows, probably got some dance lessons during the process, got cast in some music videos, turned 18, turned the slutty outfit content on, probably wants to be a legitimate actress, which requires no talent or skill and she’s already in the right place.

While she works on that, teasing the camera and creepy fans in her bikini, is a decent marketing strategy to keep her top of mind, since influencer status equals getting cast for shit….and slutty half naked content equals influencer status….you know, simple maths.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

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