My big problem with Twilight is that the shit has become ridiculously successful, pretty much porn to any girl 18 years old or younger, but it hasn’t taught them real proper whore behavior, or really any lessons in life other than that ugly chicks can get swept off their feet by vampires who they find to be mysterious and hot because they have british accents. I didn’t see the movie, but I know that Kristen Stewart is a girl I hope no one aspires to be, or looks at as the formula of what dudes like fucking, because even in her short shorts, she looks like the piece of white trashy kid who was raised in poverty and didn’t have access to enough dairy or vegetables or really any nutrients growing up because they were so poor and her mom was lazy, so it was twinkies and bologna for her, so her body paid the price and looks like this retarded mess.

I figure if we’re going to make porn for kids, we should at least teach them blowjob techniques so that when they finally decide to whore out to satisfy their needs, they’ll have some tricks in their back pocket so we can all benefit from this bullshit, instead of just dudes who look like Rob Patterson or whatever his name is, not that it makes a difference for you, since no chick is ever quite horny enough to let you in their mouth, but I figure you get what I am saying….and here are the pics of Kristen Stewart doing it all wrong…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|Short