Here’s a video I saw yesterday of Anna Nicole but couldn’t figure out how to embed. I realize that I can’t be the first on shit when people like TMZ exist, but I was never really the first at much…

She’s rockin’ clown paint and has no idea what her boyfriend is saying, she doesn’t even know she’s being filmed. Bitch is 8 months pregnant in this shit and obviously jacked on something, but I can help but think how amazing it would be to dress my wife up like that and watch her try to fit on the toilet. It’d be like our very own circus and my excitement would probably make these posts worth reading….

This is an email I just got…proving that my readers fucking suck.

Jesus,

I hate your website, or blog, or whatever you call this collage of bullshit. I hate it soo much that I continue to read it.

This make me feel dirty. Like the time I sat in Santa’s lap and he wiggled something up my ass hole. I liked it, but I’ll never go back to the mall again. Instead, I will just visit your stupid fucking website.

To close, it brings peace to my heart to know that there are people who waste their entire days researching and posting meaningless entertainment.

I only criticize if I can develop something constructive. So here it is: please post a series of Mr. Wizard experiments wherein the participating children are permanently injured or mauled by an experiment gone wrong. That would be redeeming to the everyday bullshit you post.

Also, please reduce your consistent ten readership to 9. Even though I consistently read your bullshit, it would be miscalculation to include me in your holy 10. And, nine is just a better number than 10.

Fuck you, and keep up the shitty website. At least you can claim you have a purpose in life.

Santa’s little lover,

Spence

I didn’t read the whole thing, but I am thinking this dude’s a little too Kimveer for me. I don’t understand his Wizard comments, and I try to stay away from vampire freaks. if I could control readers like it was a nightclub, I’d probably leave him at the door and call the police.

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