Giada de Laurentiis is the 48 year old FOOD CHANNEL host and chef you’ve jerked off to because you’re either into women int he kitchen, it’s porn to you, traditional gender roles and all that…or you’ve got mommy issues because your mom never took the time to cook for you, but rather just threw frozen burritos half warmed up at you because she was busy neglecting you, or maybe you have mommy issues because she was one of those valium popping perfect moms who had a meal on the table every meal for you, and took good care of you, because you were her little baby, and you have since never been able to find happiness again, because no one is as good as your momma was..

I don’t know your inner trauma that you may want to microdose LSD or MUSHROOMS because that’s what all the self help loving bros are doing…

But I do know that at 48, this Italian is still hot and that is offensive to everything I know in my core about how wrong this is….but Giada de Laurentiis is hot….and so is her cooking…when fresh out of the oven.

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