Candice Swanepoel, unlike all girls I come in contact with, is not falling for my charming sweet flirting self….because she probably gets it all the time….or maybe she’s just too busy for me…. or maybe she doesn’t like my jokes or that I am in love with her and think she’s the most fantastic girl out there…pretty much as close to perfection as you can get….you know setting the bar that you compare all other girls to…giving them complexes and making them develop eating disorders in efforts to satsify me visually as well as Candice Swanepoel does….because all girls I meet aim to please me….at least from my perspective that’s what is going on here.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I am a Candice Swanepoel groupie and I generally hate everything….This isn’t a proud moment….I don’t like admitting these things…or that her panties had the power to break me down and want nothing more than the flowers and rainbows she has cooped up in those white luxurious fabrics I’d love to sniff…kiss passionately and masturbate on after finding them in her garbage I am sifting through when she’s out of town on a shoot…..

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Being a huge fan of Candice Swanepoel for reason I like to call her awesome fucking face and body that are both amazing to look at in picture and video especially when she is half naked and getting paid like a hooker…..because I like girls who get naked for money….especially when they look like Candice Swanepoel…you know the kind of girl who will either motivate me to write her love songs….or motivate me to get arrested by climbing up her fire escape to watch her sleep…because sometimes, like times like this, stalking is romance…especially when I convince her that I am just trying to be her hero….

Here’s the video from her hot Elle Brazil shoot.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is a lovely bikini model who I think looks great half naked…probably better than most half naked girls…because she is fit and most girls are feeding their sugar addictions with carbs and ice cream…especially on hot summer days…cuz any excuse works for them….you see cuz I walk by an ice cream shop every once in a while…even it is consistently filled with chicks talking about boy problems…or the stresses of their insignificant, irrelevant lives….I assume they are the same girls who shit on girls like Candice for being ripped and amazing…and getting paid for it….ya’ll are just jealous….cuz you’re too lazy to look like this…even though looking like this is all men ask of you.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I am doing a bad job of playing it cool with Candice Swanepoel, cuz if you actually read this site you will know that earlier today, I decided that I wasn’t going to make this an unofficial fan site for the bitch, even though I’d like it to be, cuz she’s perfect…because that would be weird and ruin all chances of ever tricking her into having sex with me, cuz my kind of fan behavior, is often criminal….sure, I like to think of it as passion, because when you find a special sex kitten you want to pet all day…you give it your all…but the law is less accepting of those things….

The good news is that I can always masturbate to her pics…and so can you…Here she is being the best damn model around for some campaign I like….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I have debated turning this site into an Candice Swanepoel fan site, you know devoting my life to following her around the world in the creepiest way possible, but realized that eagerness will work against me, likely get me arrested, possibly a restraining order and in no way will it get me inside her pussy, unless I see a window of opportunity where her bodyguards let their guard down and I sneak attack….but that, along with running a fan site for her is some serious weak game…and I’m lazy…I will just embrace the fact I will never fuck her and jerk off to her Victoria’s Secret pics to get back at her, even if they are boring, instead.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect….except for the AIDS shit that annoy all South Africans when I bring it up…because unlike Candice Swanepoel, they didn’t get the fuck out the first chance they had….but instead they stuck around risking HIV transmission every time they dance too close to someone, share a drink, get sneezed on, hold hands, or sniff dirty panties/bike seats…..She’s fit, she’s rich, she’s hot as fuck and even when posing in boring catalog shots…I want to get her pregnant….and I hate babies, pregnancy, but appreciate hot pussy and K-Fed’s work ethic….and sometimes that overpowers all….

Boring pics, hot women….get up on it.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I hate Victoria’s Secret, but I can stare at a half naked Candice Swanepoel for days, I know this, becasue I have done it. She is perfection and the benchmark I put all girls against, so if you don’t think you are as good as she is, you probably aren’t, and I think it is important you know that makes you less of a woman…sure someone will fuck you, someone will knock you up, but you’re never gonna be the hottest person to them…you got a life of feeling inadequate ahead of you….but don’t worry, so do I….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is so good at Bikinis that she gets paid for the shit, but unlike someone who hates his work, you know since her work involves getting half naked, she just fucking goes at it for free, pretty much giving all her paying customers the finger, saying “you motherfuckers pay me 15,000 dollars a day for shit I do for free”….and I am just glad she does, because she’s pretty perfect…all girls should look like this and if they don’t, it is our job to encourage them to stop eating Fast Food, to develop an eating disorder, to hit the gym and to make magic….or just fuckin throw the fucking towel, get pregnant by a willing man, cuz there is always a willing man desperate to fuck anything as to not live a life alone, there’s no point in trying anymore cuz Candice Swanepoel wins….you fucking loser…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel