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Archive for the Ad Category

2008

17

Jul

Hayden and Her Candies Ad of the Day

Hayden Panettiere is a revolutionary. She just keeps pushing the limits despite her physcial deformities. She won’t let her l height hold her back from anything. She’s strong (really strong), she’s somehow convinced the world she’s hot, and now she’s modeling. The last person her size to be a paid model was my friend Frankie who was born with some disorder that didn’t let him break 5 foot, and dude’s modeling job was working at a loal art class as a nude subject.

Either way ripping on the little model for not being able to be a basketball player is dull, everyone does it and it’s really not even an issue. The truth is that she’s still got a pussy under all that muscle and can is hot enought to be a the subject of your carnival porn fantasies, you know get bitch jugging while spinning around on your dick like she’s on a Merry-Go-Round, and she easier on the eyes than a real midget with their big scary weird normal sized hands and thick stumpy bodies, so we should celebrate these pictures for her Candies ad campaign and not shit on them like I shat on this midget I got with sexually, because I knew it was just be happy getting love and German Scat was just hitting the scene and was something I wanted to try, and convincing other girls was almost impossible, so capitalized on the opportunity knowing that even if it tried to run away, it’d be easy to catch because of its little legs.

Posted in:Ad|Candies|Hayden Panettiere

2007

23

May

I am – Doc Marten Ad Campaign of the Day

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I came across these pictures from a UK ad campaign for Doc Marten’s featuring dead rock icons wearing the boots in heaven to prove just how durable they are and that you can take them to the next life with you…or some shit…but only if you’re a rockstar, because rockstars go to heaven, you know with all their self destruction, drugs and alcohol, pre-marital sex, anti-establishment, petty crimes, suicide, murder and all kinds of other things religion really deems as being Holy….

I am not really sure why I am posting these, I really have no opinion and nothing interesting to say about any of these people, I listen to their music when it came out and even now when my I am not doing anything else on my computer because my computer sucks. I have never gone to any of their shows, but I am pretty sure that I have had sex while listening to them and that is probably an experience that definitely wasn’t as lasting or memorable as these boots and the poor women involved may have to take it to the grave with them to the grave, that is of course only if they haven’t repressed the experience like I was their uncle touching them inappropriately at the family Christmas party. I bring on shame even though they were drunk or high and I was paying them….

Either way, check out the ads. I haven’t figured out if it’s right or wrong but I do know that the last thing I’d want after I am dead is to be endorsing some shitty product I used in the 80s and 90s on the company’s revival campaign….even though I know that would never happen because I am not a rockstar but you get the fucking point asshole.

Kurt Cobain

Joey Ramone

Joe Strummer

Posted in:Ad|Joe Strummer|Joey Ramone|Kurt Cobain|Sid Viscious|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Ashley Hartman from the O.C. in a Carl's Jr. Ad of the Day

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So Carl’s Jr. had a commercial featuring criminal Paris Hilton in a car wash and it gave everyone a fucking boner except me – because I can’t get boners. It seems like they are back with a new commercial featuring some girl from the OC named Ashley Hartman and she looks pretty tight bodied, but not the kind of tight body I witnessed at the strip club this afternoon. The bitch was one of those body builder chicks with biceps that put most men to shame and a back as wide as a pick-up truck. I think I wrote about how I wanted to pay her to arm wrestle me last summer, but never did it because I was scared she’d get offended and use her testosterone imbalance induced rage on me. I guess what the real issue in the whole thing was that when she was crawling on all fours her ass looked hot in contrast to her jacked legs….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am pretty sure that the Carl Jr. Ads are worth watching while you try to figure out why you just wasted your time reading this post. It’s pretty safe to say that I am losing my edge.

I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE GETTING ANNOYED THINKING I GOT PAID TO POST THIS…I DON’T GET PAID FOR SHIT….
HERE’S THE VIDEO FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO SEE IT

Posted in:Ad|Ashley Hartman|Slut|The OC|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Ashley Hartman from the O.C. in a Carl’s Jr. Ad of the Day

picture-1.jpg

So Carl’s Jr. had a commercial featuring criminal Paris Hilton in a car wash and it gave everyone a fucking boner except me – because I can’t get boners. It seems like they are back with a new commercial featuring some girl from the OC named Ashley Hartman and she looks pretty tight bodied, but not the kind of tight body I witnessed at the strip club this afternoon. The bitch was one of those body builder chicks with biceps that put most men to shame and a back as wide as a pick-up truck. I think I wrote about how I wanted to pay her to arm wrestle me last summer, but never did it because I was scared she’d get offended and use her testosterone imbalance induced rage on me. I guess what the real issue in the whole thing was that when she was crawling on all fours her ass looked hot in contrast to her jacked legs….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am pretty sure that the Carl Jr. Ads are worth watching while you try to figure out why you just wasted your time reading this post. It’s pretty safe to say that I am losing my edge.

I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE GETTING ANNOYED THINKING I GOT PAID TO POST THIS…I DON’T GET PAID FOR SHIT….
HERE’S THE VIDEO FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO SEE IT

Posted in:Ad|Ashley Hartman|Slut|The OC|Unsorted