Ad Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

22

Apr

Top 7 Models on Porngatherer of the Day

Show NSFW Content

Porngather Does the Porn Gathering for You…

We live in a world of too much bullshit. Too much noise. Too many social media accounts. Too many people to follow. Too many stupid mindless videos to watch. Too many live broadcasts of people we don’t care about…it’s enough to create fucking panic…

One thing we never have too much of is porn, because we are perverts and we like watching girls naked and slutty exhibitionists…it’s something ingrained into our core…

The problem is that as porn got more popular and mainstream, and the internet got more popular and mainstream…all these random companies started putting out more and more content, and girls started coming out of the woodwork calling themselves pornstars because they banged once on camera for 500 dollars…and the whole thing got and busy, confusing, and uninspiring as everything else online…it was almost impossible to navigate, to dig, to find good quality smut…

But like everything, we can now outsource our porn searching…by using sites like PORNGATHERER , who goes out and finds the good stuff…so you didn’t have to….

I don’t watch porn, I don’t like the way it objectifies women, but if I did, I would use a service like this, but then again I am a busy man – sitting around doing nothing all day – in need of personal assistants to do everything, from finding me the porn like PORNGATHER …now I just need to go find someone to jerk me off so I don’t have to…

Living the life of LUXURY…

So PORNGATHERER has a list of models – this is the Top 10….I don’t know anything about :

1- Lucy Li

2- Amy Lee Summers

3- Alexis Texas

4- Elle Georgia

5- Faye Reagan

6- Riley Reid

7- Madison Ivy

FOR MORE CLICK HERE

THEY ALSO HAVE FREE PORN GALLERIES

So……get on it.

Posted in:Ad|Features|NSFW

2015

04

Dec

7 Gadgets Gift Ideas For Yourself because No One Loves You not Even this stepGIRL of the Day

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This stepGIRL is from the future because Gadgets are from the future…because It’s Christmas, and even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, because no one loves you, especially not the…but rather celebrate “Holiday”…since Christmas is a forbidden word…but you still give gifts to people…because you want gifts given to you…

So here are 7 hand picked gadgets that I’ve decided you should gift people you like, people you hate, pretty much everybody..including yourself ,because everyone hates you, or don’t know you exist and you are all you have in your fucking life…and you even hate yourself, but not enough to not buy at least one gift because why the fuck not….right…

1- Self Defence Pen To Stop Mass Shootings and/or Rape

2- Turn You Bath into A Hot Tub: Hot Tub Party….to get yourself pregnant or to blame the herpes on…

3- Post Modern Skateboard Because Hoverboards that Don’t Hover are for Homos…while this…is just…the future…

4- Outlet Wall Safe – To hide all your important things…too small to store that hooker’s bloody panties…

5- Zoom Lens for your iPhone – To get the extreme close ups of your asshole to send to dudes online when you pretend you’re a chick….

6- Homer iPhone Decal – because you don’t look enough ike a fat virgin loser who can’t get laid…

7- Roller Screen Cleaner For all those pornos you jerk off to…

GADGETS VIA THEGADGETFLOW

Posted in:Ad|SFW|stepLIST

2015

25

Nov

Top 10 Star Wars Gifts for Black Friday of the Day

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Halloween is over, so it’s almost Christmas, am I allowed to say that it’s Christmas, in this era of distress, where Starbucks gets slandered by the non-Christians who feel oppressed by the Christian world they live in and shouldn’t be exposed to….

You or someone you know is probably a what I call a Virgin loser, but what you probably called a Star Wars fan…which is probably 99 percent of you, as Star Wars is the most anticipated, highly marketed, overrated bullshit to ever exist…but it made George Lucas a billionaire, so I guess it can’t be that bad…right?

So with the help of my friends at TheGadgetFLow Here are the Top 10 Star Wars gifts according to me…yes I hand picked every last one of these fuckers….even though I hate Star Wars and think it is all that is wrong in the world…but I guess I’ve had sex with girls before…so I can’t relate…

Some of these gift ideas are pretty good though…

1- the Star Wars Millenium Falcon Drone

2- Star Wars Droid

3- Light Sabre Chopsticks

4- AT-BT Boombox

5- Star Wars Toaster

6- Lightsaber Umbrealla

7- Lightsaber Thumb Wrestling

8- Star Wars Car Decals

9- Relic v@ Cross Guard

10- Death Star Ice

GADGETS VIA HERE

Posted in:Ad|Gadgets|Top 10

2010

08

Mar

Victoria’s Secret Ad has Girls in Panties of the Day

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I watched this video on mute, all I know is that it is of girls in their underwear talking about what they like in their men, I am assuming they are saying shit that everyone can relate to, because they don’t want to alienate themselves and seem unattainable, because the average guy doesn’t have rugged good looks, and isn’t a ridiculously rich, ripped with a 10 inch cock who can make a bitch cum just by grabbing her arm, or build a log cabin from scratch, and can tame a wild horse when not crying to chick flicks, saving Aids babies in Africa, writing poems and love songs, helping ghetto kids get out of the ghetto, or weaving baskets, cooking gourmet meals, paiting or doing some other homo shit that chicks get wet for, while the average Victoria Secret model boyfriend is, so whatever they are saying here, they are just trying to stay accessible, but I don’t care, panties on hot bitches are still panties on hot bitches…actually maybe I’m wrong…maybe you do have a chance with one of these girls…you should start sending her fan mail…I’m sure it’ll go over really well with them…

Posted in:Ad|Panties|Victoria's Secret

2009

09

Jun

Here’s Some Anti-Binge Drinking Viral Video Campaign of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some viral video campaign that I thought was promoting Binge Drinking, but realized it was actually saying it is bad, even though I’ve been a career binge drinking the last 2 decades and it’s worked alright for me, I mean sure I’m fat, unhealthy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, poor, pathetic and all that, but I’ve had some pretty fucking funny times. They’ve managed to leave out the most important product of binge drinking and that’s fingerbanging the fat chick on the dancefloor, or even worse, bringing her home for a fuck. I thought it was a good effort, but maybe that’s just because I like the guy’s accent.

Posted in:Ad|Binge Drinking

2009

05

Jun

Audrina for Carl’s Jr of the Day

2 Comments »

We don’t have Carl’s Jr here, but I used to have a friend who worked somewhere that got press packages from Carl’s Jr and everytime they’d release a burger they’d send him a cardboard cut out of it, and byt the looks of some of their burgers, you’d think just holding the cardboard cut out made you fuckin’ fatter. I used to get him to give me those cutouts so that I could torment my wife.

I’d put shit all over the house the days she announced she was going on a diet. I’d just bust it out randomly, because for her a burger was what pussy was for me, or what little boy ass is to a pedo.

I remember when we’d fuck, she’d make me put one of the burgers over my face and bitch would rock my cock better than normal, unfortunately, it’d make her hungry and she’d run out for a late night burger when I’d pass out and that was all part of her 150 pound weight gain.

It was all very fuckin’ fat, but not as fat as when she planned a solo trip to the states to experience the burger first hand and took pictures like she met the fuckin’ President or some shit.

Either way, they got Audrina to do the add, because despite having fat tits, her body’s rockin’ and a rockin’ body is a lot more appealing to market a burger than seeing some stretch-marked sloppy piece of shit of fat chick…

Yes, these are the same people that brought you Paris Hilton car wash.

Here’s their Alba commercial…

Here’s there Hot CHick on a Mechanical Bull commercial…

Here’s that Padma chick’s commercial….

And the Paris Hilton commercial….

Posted in:Ad|Audrina|Carl's Jr

2009

06

May

Posh Spice in Her Underwear of the Day

1 Comment »

Posh Spice is posing with some underwear ad that she was obviously ridiculously overpaid for, while I’m here writing about Posh Spice for a second time today.

It’s not like there aren’t thousands of other things that I could have done a post on, but for some reason, I chose this shit, maybe it was laziness aand I lack creativity and take the first thing that comes my way, because I don’t give a fuck about Posh Spice, but I couldn’t really tell you why I am doing it. Maybe it’s OCD and I like doing things in twos now and if I don’t I end going crazy and running down the street barking at people like the drunk dude I met riding his bike last night while he was barking at me, but whatever it is, shit is like groundhog day only more boring even when shit’s rockin’ lingerie in a heavily photoshopped picture. We need to get some Bill Murray acne scars up in here to make it all okay.

Posted in:Ad|Posh Spice|Underwear

2009

04

Feb

Bud Light Porn Ad that Didn’t Air on Superbowl of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s an ad, or what they claim is an actual Bud Light Ad about some dude buying porn at the convenience store. It reminded me of you but you don’t actually buy porn you freeloading asshole. I don’t know if it is actually an ad produced by them or some punks pretending to be Bud Light to be funny, but I am posting it anyway. I figure since Bud Light will never pay me to promote their shit, I might as well do it for free, because I am an idiot.

Posted in:Ad|Bud Light|Superbowl

2008

15

Sep

Kim Kardashians’ Funny Facebook Ad of the Day

12 Comments »

So this Laura’s Weight Loss site is using Kim Kardashian’s image on their site to promote some weight loss program. Now I don’t know much about marketing and advertising and shit, but I do know that she’s better suited for a chocolate bar company, because let’s face it, if you want a Kim Kardashian body, all you have to do is sit on your couch and start eating.

Having her promoting a diet, is like hiring Magic Johnson to promote condoms, Lindsay Lohan to promote Abstinence, Amy Winehouse to promote sobriety, Jennier Lopez to promote music school, you get what I am saying…..

Posted in:Ad|Kim Kardashian

2008

12

Sep

Alba Bondage Ad for America of the Day

4 Comments »

Alba is so wild in this bondage style ad trying to get peole to register to vote or vote or whatever the fuck she’s doing, but I was pretty disappointed at how tame shit was and was hoping for more of a snuff film than some playful suburban wife trying to add spice to her boring sex life with her fat husband’s idea of bondage, but that’s just because I hate Alba and like snuff films, except for the whole killin’ part, just hard to stay hard for those parts, but I didn’t have too hard of a time staying hard for the woman I saw grinding her husband on the park bench today. They were lying in the grass and she was doing some kind of stripper ass shake on his dick, it was one of those rent a room you sick fucks moment, only I didn’t really want them to rent a room, since I was pretty much down with the show. What I am also down with is how irrelevant Alba is now that she’s a mom, because I was getting sick of her and that ego when she’s not even that hot, like I’m getting sick of celebrities endorsing American Political races especially when they are some uneducated Mexican who is only known for her tits.

Just vote for Obama. Stop being an idiot. It’s easy. Dude wins me over every time I hear him talk, like Alba wins me over everytime I think she’s going to completely cover her face up…but doesn’t since she always disappoints.

Posted in:Ad|Bondage|Jessica Alba

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