Her name is Rainey Qualley and it sounds like something Muslim and like she’s going to fly her airplane into my house or like some kind of Hip Hop name, like back when I used to throw down a few freestyles on the street corner and went by the name Drippy Rattler, it was the late 80s and no one took me seriously so I quit, but I could have been the next Fresh Prince but less wholesome, but I guess that’s got nothing to do with the real truth about Rainey Qualley and that her parents are a bunch of Dirty Hippie Model Faggots who thought calling their kid Rainey was so representative of the condition of our world and because she was conceived on a rainy night in a field during the winter solstice or some shit. Again, I could be wrong.

The truth is that people are talking about her and trying to find more info out on her, I didn’t bother pulling in the research but by the looks of it she is about 18, she’s not all that hot considering both her parents were models, and goes against my theory that good lookin’ people make ugly babies, because in not being all that hot she’s not all that ugly either.

Her pictures or dull, she seems dull, she looks like she does well in school, plays the piano and on crazy nights she eats 2 bags of microwave popcorn with her fat ugly friends. She looks like she’s popular with the boys, unless that’s just one boy and I look forward to seeing this slut in training make the move to being a slut in action. Sometimes, they need the training wheels and sometimes they don’t.

If she’s not 18, someone email me so I can take it down and not get sued or arrested for some crazy American law that says you can’t write or talk about someone who isn’t 18.

Bonus – here she is with her mother in the event you have no idea who Andie McDowell is (like me)

Posted in:Andie McDowell|Rainey Qualley