Benji Madden Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

26

Nov

Benji Madden Leaves a Party With a Guy of the Day

Benji Madden was seen leaving a club with his new fuck toy, who is some guy he put in a silly had to make look like his one true love, his brother. I mean it was kind of expected, since he’s been circle jerking with another man since the womb, even if they are twins and sex with each other isn’t considered homo, but masturbation, since they are the same fucking person. You know that whole if you had a clone of yourself would you let it suck your dick debate you’ve been having in you head since you first heard about Dolly the sheep, or whatever the fuck that cloned sheep was named.

So Benji isn’t talking much about Paris Hilton, their break up or any of that juicy shit that is her vaginal infections, because if you were famous and had the option to bang real chicks, you wouldn’t be down with admitting the dark time your judgment got the best of you because you were emotionally in a bad place since your one true love ran off with a troll and had a baby with her, you know leaving you forced to get with her best friend because it forces you to spend time together and it’s better to have something that keeps you tied to him, besides family functions or Good Charlotte reunion tours, you wouldn’t want people bringing it up or even admitting that it happened to yourself.

The truth is that Benji isn’t the first guy Paris has helped bring to his homosexual calling, she’s got those big feet, fake hair, lots of make-up and obnoxious outfits that would be encouraged at a gay club on tranny night, so I guess after fucking Paris the only place for you to go is Gay, especially since there’s a whole group of fags who aren’t scared of a little herpes, you know, since they have Aids.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

20

Nov

Benji Madden’s Gone Gay Since his Breakup to Herpes of the Day

1 Comment »

I heard that Benji and Paris broke up yesterday because Paris Hilton went off and fucked Stavros the other night and it was all over the news and Madden had no choice but to break up with her to keep his manhood, a manhood that Paris Hilton has murdered, or maybe it was because Benji was caught jerking off to pictures of him and his brother in concert, or some shit, but like his suburban tattoos, Paris left her mark on him for life and that mark is herpes.

I guess, dude was hoping to marry her because like any guy who gets a permanent STD off a chick, he throws in the towel nd doesn’t want to have to go back into the market and have to tell the new girls he gets with that he’s tainted and will not only tickle their pussies but also make their pussies itch for the rest of their lives, because it is embarrassing, not that any of his groupies would really turn him down, because the chance to get his herpes would a fucking dream to them and they’d take pictures of the scabs and frame them on their wall or post on their Myspace, like the girl I used to know who collected used untensils from a guy she was in love with but who wouldn’t love her, because she was ugly….

Either way, breaking free from that cunt is a fucking blessing and it’s nice to see that he’s moved onto new prospects, like going home late at night with Steve Aoki, but in his defense, bending Aoki’s skinny asian body over the couch isn’t all that gay, you know he does have long hair and all…but it is the gateway to accepting that Paris Hilton helped him realize his true love for cock, because after being with her rank pussy, there’s really no fucking way you’d ever see pussy the same way again…..or want to see pussy again.

I hate Paris Hilton, but texted Stavros this message, because someone sent me his phone number years ago:

Stealin’ Benji’s girl man? She’s got a lazy eye! Is Paris a better fuck than she is in the movie?

I was drunk and I am sure could have come up with something better, but I didn’t and he never answered me! What a waste of a celebrity or a rich kid who fuck’s celebrities phone number, if i was smarter, I’d call him and fuck with him like those French Radio hosts did to Palin, and not send a weak text message because I have nothing to say about Paris or Stavros but I do hate myself.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Break-up|Paris Hilton|Steve Aoki

2008

29

Sep

I was Right About the Good Charlotte Sisters of the Day

2 Comments »

I have been saying that these two have been fucking since they were in the womb and dating girls is just a distraction from the fact that they can’t be together, it just isn’t socially acceptable. I also defended them by saying they aren’t fags for wanting each other’s dicks, because they are identical twins, so it’s like masturbation, but the truth is that masturbation or not, they just can’t get married to each other like they want to and sometimes that truth too hard to accept that they slip up in public and here is the picture. But in their defense, if you were the idiots who were dating Paris and Nicole…a pile of dog shit would start to look like a good fuck.

Here is one of the Good Charlotte Sisters out with Paris Hilton and someone who has Aids, who I guess has decided to start showing her bird face again, but is wearing her Center for Disease control issued condom pants so that she doesn’t spread her shitty vagina sauce all over public places like it was peanut butter and the world was one giant piece of toast. You know like chairs in restaurants, public washrooms and anything else her vagina could possibly touch as it hangs out of whatever pantyless outfit she’s wearing.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Joel Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

26

Feb

Paris Hilton is Dating Nicole Richie’s Boyfriends Brother of the Day

6 Comments »

The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Paris Hilton is fucking Benji Madden. He is one of the Good Charlotte Twin Sisters, the only twin sisters you don’t want to see fuckin’ each other because they actually have penises but are still gayer than fucking gay. I can assume that it all started in the womb when one of them used the other’s developing penis as a pacifier or maybe it was when they were curious teenage boys with a dream of pop stardom and a libido that couldn’t be satisfied unless each other’s dick were in their mouths….some people have blanket for comfort, like Fergie sang about, other people suck their thumbs and the maddens suck each other’s dick….maybe it’s normal, I’m not a twin.

Either way, Paris has moved in on her best friend’s baby daddy’s twin and that’s some incestuous shit. I guess when you throw your vagina at someone with a broken heart, it’s pretty hard to get rejected. Sure he is on the rebound from recently broke up with a much hotter Sophie Monk, but the real broken heart happened when his brother left him for little boy Richie and knocked her up, forcing them to only get in each other’s mouths at family functions….it’s a sad story, but not as sad as the day Paris calls him with the pregnancy test results and he finds out that he was just part of a scheme trying to outdo her friend and steal some of her glory by becoming sisters in law, instead of sisters in spirit. Maybe he can get another gay tattoo to remember this day by….because he’s that kind of loser….

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton|Sex

2007

21

Jun

I am – Sophie Monk's Boyfriend is a Fucking Cunt of the Day

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I got hate mail from someone defending Jennifer Garner saying that I don’t respect her because she isn’t a little tart and that she can actually act. They went on to say how I hate women who aren’t sluts and have talent. My answer to her is that if Jennifer Garner could act, she would have more of a career than her piece of shit Alias show. If she wasn’t a slut, she wouldn’t let men she wasn’t married to drop load in her box like it was moving day and if I hated women who had talent I’d never have had good sex in my life because talent comes in many forms and I like the ones that feel best.

I am all for girls who are good at what they do, but when being good at acting is their “talent” I don’t really take it seriously because in life there are much more substantial things to be talented in, whether it is singing, painting, caring for sick kids, or giving me an amazing blowjob, not that I’d really enjoy it that much since I can’t get it up.

If it makes you people who think I am a woman hater happy, I just want you to know that I also hate dudes with no talent. This Good Charlotte brother is as equally lame as his twin brother and he may be baggin’ a hot chick but hot chicks generally like losers and that doesn’t mean he’s good at what he does.

I like to think it’s got something to do with hot chicks like dudes with lots of money. I guess it could also have to do with them having huge cocks. I have yet to meet a dude who is totally down to earth with a big cock. I am not a cock expert and I don’t check out dudes I meet, but I do know that every dude I’ve met who has told me or who a chick has told me had a huge cock has been just as big a cunt as the kind of cunt his meat needs to fit in. I remember reading something about intelligence being directly related to genital size, and I know that if I had a huge cock, I wouldn’t be sitting at a computer all day writing a site all day, I’d be out showing it to girls.

Big dick or not, this Madden can’t hid the fact that he fucking sucks behind his tattoos but I’d still watch the sex tape because Sophie Monk is may not be smart enough to not sleep with this fool, but she does keep her distance in public and that’s one step closer to dumping him.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Sophie Monk|Unsorted

2007

21

Jun

I am – Sophie Monk’s Boyfriend is a Fucking Cunt of the Day

42 Comments »

I got hate mail from someone defending Jennifer Garner saying that I don’t respect her because she isn’t a little tart and that she can actually act. They went on to say how I hate women who aren’t sluts and have talent. My answer to her is that if Jennifer Garner could act, she would have more of a career than her piece of shit Alias show. If she wasn’t a slut, she wouldn’t let men she wasn’t married to drop load in her box like it was moving day and if I hated women who had talent I’d never have had good sex in my life because talent comes in many forms and I like the ones that feel best.

I am all for girls who are good at what they do, but when being good at acting is their “talent” I don’t really take it seriously because in life there are much more substantial things to be talented in, whether it is singing, painting, caring for sick kids, or giving me an amazing blowjob, not that I’d really enjoy it that much since I can’t get it up.

If it makes you people who think I am a woman hater happy, I just want you to know that I also hate dudes with no talent. This Good Charlotte brother is as equally lame as his twin brother and he may be baggin’ a hot chick but hot chicks generally like losers and that doesn’t mean he’s good at what he does.

I like to think it’s got something to do with hot chicks like dudes with lots of money. I guess it could also have to do with them having huge cocks. I have yet to meet a dude who is totally down to earth with a big cock. I am not a cock expert and I don’t check out dudes I meet, but I do know that every dude I’ve met who has told me or who a chick has told me had a huge cock has been just as big a cunt as the kind of cunt his meat needs to fit in. I remember reading something about intelligence being directly related to genital size, and I know that if I had a huge cock, I wouldn’t be sitting at a computer all day writing a site all day, I’d be out showing it to girls.

Big dick or not, this Madden can’t hid the fact that he fucking sucks behind his tattoos but I’d still watch the sex tape because Sophie Monk is may not be smart enough to not sleep with this fool, but she does keep her distance in public and that’s one step closer to dumping him.