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Brittany Murphy 911 Call of the Day

This is a pleasant way to start off the weekend….don’t do drugs you idiots…this is pretty fucking horrible and that dude Simon’s a fucking wreck counting like a retard in the background…Nothing funny about this….it’s actually fucking depressing ….I should post tits instead of this…seriously….my god….this is burning my ears….why am I posting this….fuck.

Since we’re doing 911 Calls – here’s the Casey Johsnon & Johnson 911 Call where the woman calling doesn’t even give a fuck that she’s dead- probably a common theme in her life – where was Nicky Hilton her self-proclaimed best friend…assholes

That was depressing – how about something to lighten the mood…a little Solid Potato Salad Pussy Eating Cartwheel….

Posted in:911 Call|Brittany Murphy




RIP Motherfucker The Brittany Murphy Edition of the Day

Just last night my friend asked me who would I rather fuck Brittany Murphy or Alicia Silversone…I said Brittany Murphy hands down maybe he was some visionary who predicts deaths, or maybe he’s just a virgin loser who asks me those questions every time I see him….

I can only assume at 32 she died of a drug overdose…but it her defense, I’d turn to drugs if I let Ashton Kutcher inside me too….so I guess that means it is all his fault…

Actors are fucked up, they do too many drugs and have too much money and too little to do especially when not getting work, free time and money means getting fucked up….

She was only 32…..what a fucking waste but at least her legacy will live on in such classics as happy feet and the voice on King of the Hill amongst other good movies peppered with real shit movies…

I am not sure if drugs are bad or if Hollywood is bad and the drugs are just really fucking good.

Either way, she won’t be coming to my birthday party this year and I guess no one will be going to hers either. Good job throwing your life away you self-destructive twat who didn’t realize what you had….

I’m gonna go masturbate to Brittany Murphy in 8 Mile, I know all you whiners think its wrong cuz she just died, but I figure it’s better to do it now while she’s still warm than later when she’s cremated….Wow..that was even low for me..

Seriously though, it is sad news, it is fucked up, but people die all the time, especially when they are drug addicts….she should have got help. RIP Motherfucker….

Update -I find myself coping with this loss by going through all the same steps we all go through……I am so cliche….

Step 1 Denial – She didn’t die, it must be a joke or staged cuz she is tired of being in the limelight oh right she’s not in the limelight….

step 2 Anger – Bitch, she had everything going for her, so many people would have traded lives with her why would do this to us……

step 3 Bargaining -Why God? Why would you take her….Bring her back to life or something…I swear I’ll quit drinking….

step 4 Depression – A life without Brittany Murphy is a life not worth living. The day is grey and will remain grey the rest of our days without her. There’s no point to go on without her….

step 5 Acceptance – Oh well, I guess death is part of life and people die everyday, especially when they are drug addicts, not much we can do about it but go on with life. I have no sympathy for suicide. Now everyone let’s go on with our lives….

Posted in:Brittany Murphy|R.I.P.




I am – There Are Too Many Brittanys of the Day

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About two months ago I discovered downing Vicodin with my coffee before work was a good plan.About two months ago Brittany Murphy decided marrying some swollen con-artist named Simon Monjack who wants a Visa and her “Clueless”/”Uptown Girls” cash was a good idea. I think I win on this one. Even his name sounds like some pyramid-scheme for a casino bordering a lovely abandoned reservoir presently storing overflow from the neighboring sewage treatment plant.

Anway this is Mrs. Monjack née Murphy exiting a hair salon in LA or whatever. I know a thing or two about hair salons, and the point is you are supposed to come out looking like a princess and not a barely-pubescent boy from New Jersey who is just getting his feet wet with the whole hipster phenomenon. Which also explains the damn Ramones shirt. I loved that shirt back in 2002 more than I loved my morning after pills. But it is tired, over-exposed, and was bludgeoned to death with a bar of soap in a sock behind a stall in the dank, indoor-outhouse bathroom of CBGBs. I saw two dudes with this on yesterday in the same 4 block radius and wanted to hurt them, and not in the ways Zeki enjoyed.

As for Brittany Murphy’s career, she was amazing in “the Dead Girl.” This is my serious face, now. Either that was some top-notch acting talent or she is just vaguely-prescient and her subconscious was training her to be a highway hooker, her subsconscious being aware of her impending ruin and all: the sunny spring day when Monjack splits for Cyprus with both her earnings and sexy Ramones shirt.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell


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Posted in:Brittany Murphy|Uncategorized|Unsorted