Paris Hilton Archives - Page 20 of 22 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump's Big Ol' Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump’s Big Ol’ Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

35 Comments

I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

2007

24

May

I am – Paris Hilton's Prison Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day

0 Comments

It seems like Paris and her hired photographer have gone on another spiritual outing to help her get through this dark time in her life…I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing hitting up a bookstore every fucking day considering she doesn’t know how to read and I don’t know why she’s bringing along the paparazzi with her, but I guess it’s good for business. I thought it was an attempt to get sympathy from the public, but sympathy from the public isn’t really going to save her from jail.

I am thinking that she maybe actually depressed and is finally doing a little soul searching, but I can’t see how a self absorbed cunt who places no importance on humanity, who makes no effort to make a difference with her celebrity and who is really just a waste of fucking space of a person, would actually want to change because of a prison sentence of 20 days and if she was on a quest to find her inner spiritual center or some shit, she probably wouldn’t do it with a hired photographer. So I call bullshit.

I can say that the only good thing that Paris has done for the world, is turned younger girls onto the fact that when they turn 18, sex tapes can make them famous, and that tied in with digital cameras being as accessible as they are and this whole internet as a distribution channel has brought on a whole new pleasure to my life….

I guess the other good thing that Paris has done for the world is showed younger girls that wearing no underwear gets you attention, so when I sit at the local coffee shop or on the park bench and I see local upskirt, nip slips and vag slips from girls in stupid party dresses midday, I can thank Paris for helping the world be more slutty….and I love sluts…

Either way, I am not falling for this Paris act, she’s sulking like a little spoiled brat who didn’t get the car in the color she wanted on her 16th birthday….maybe the sad face worked when she was 3 and daddy told her there was nothing they could do about her retardedly huge feet that all the kids made fun of but she’s a little too old for it now….

Posted in:Legs|Paris Hilton|Prison|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Paris Hilton’s Prison Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day

1 Comment

It seems like Paris and her hired photographer have gone on another spiritual outing to help her get through this dark time in her life…I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing hitting up a bookstore every fucking day considering she doesn’t know how to read and I don’t know why she’s bringing along the paparazzi with her, but I guess it’s good for business. I thought it was an attempt to get sympathy from the public, but sympathy from the public isn’t really going to save her from jail.

I am thinking that she maybe actually depressed and is finally doing a little soul searching, but I can’t see how a self absorbed cunt who places no importance on humanity, who makes no effort to make a difference with her celebrity and who is really just a waste of fucking space of a person, would actually want to change because of a prison sentence of 20 days and if she was on a quest to find her inner spiritual center or some shit, she probably wouldn’t do it with a hired photographer. So I call bullshit.

I can say that the only good thing that Paris has done for the world, is turned younger girls onto the fact that when they turn 18, sex tapes can make them famous, and that tied in with digital cameras being as accessible as they are and this whole internet as a distribution channel has brought on a whole new pleasure to my life….

I guess the other good thing that Paris has done for the world is showed younger girls that wearing no underwear gets you attention, so when I sit at the local coffee shop or on the park bench and I see local upskirt, nip slips and vag slips from girls in stupid party dresses midday, I can thank Paris for helping the world be more slutty….and I love sluts…

Either way, I am not falling for this Paris act, she’s sulking like a little spoiled brat who didn’t get the car in the color she wanted on her 16th birthday….maybe the sad face worked when she was 3 and daddy told her there was nothing they could do about her retardedly huge feet that all the kids made fun of but she’s a little too old for it now….

Posted in:Legs|Paris Hilton|Prison|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Paris Hilton Panties in the Wind of the Day

1 Comment

I had a few funny things to write about, because the weekend is over and I was away from the computer for most of it, but I am drunk and don’t remember much. I ended up climbing up the fire escape of some building, and ending up on the roof with 3 bottles of cheap wine. I am not sure how I made my way back down, but I survived.

I am hoping that Paris Hilton won’t survive her 45 days in jail, even though 45 days is more like a vacation than anything for her. She will get special treatment and will probably have a nicer cell than my apartment, and she probably won’t be allowed to hang out with the lesbian muderers and scum that fill up real jail, but part of me really hopes she is. I also hope that she meets some whore that opens her life up to real crime, propelling her into a life in the underbelly of society, denouncing her socialite ways, because I am tired of seeing this cunt all over the fucking place.

Here are some pic of her panties, a little more clothes than the communal showers will let her wear, and this sentence is a fucking celebration, you just haven’t realized it yet.

Again, I am wasted and don’t know what I just wrote, but hope you aren’t wearing pants when you read it…because that is part of the reason I write this piece of shit site….Cuddles….

2007

01

May

I am – When Paris Hilton Meets Someone Uglier than Her She is at Her Happiest…

0 Comments

I came across this picture on the internet this morning and figured I’d post it because it is Paris at Coachella and not in a hotel room sucking cock. I say that like I know the bitch personally and sit with her over pancakes and lattes while laughing at the cum shot that still clumps up her hair from the night before, but I really don’t know what make Paris her happiest, I just like to pretend I do.

I do know that this herpes ridden whore loves to be in pictures with girls who are uglier than her. That’s why she did the Simple Life with a fat Nicole, that’s why she was always seen partying with Kim Kardashian the Fat Armenian fashion accessory and now it looks like she’s pulled some broken down little rat out of the orphanage and brought her along with her to this concert as part of some make a wish foundation for orphans who don’t shower, or from broken homes with deformities inflicted on their face by their foster parent throwing beer cans at her as a baby. My guess is that it’s some PR move to make us think how good bitch is, when in reality all she had to do was not breathe in through her nose for the 2 minutes as to not get sick by the dirty rat’s stint, just to snap this picture.

Update – The ugly girl in the picture is some hipster named Cory Kennedy …. Not a Ratty Kid Kid From an Orphanage with no showers, just a normal girl with a fucked up upper lip making her ugly enough to share the picture with Paris according to Paris’ people. Cuddles.

Picture via – TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Cory Kennedy|Hipster|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton’s Fake Tits of the Day

0 Comments

The funny news of the day is that Perez Hilton was paid by Paris Hilton’s people to not talk shit about her. I think that’s called selling out, but that’s not really surprising considering this fucker was hated so much growing up that he was a gun short of a school shooting. instead he took the high road and through years of self-hatred ended up with a shitty site that everyone started reading, god fucking knows why, because it was pretty clear to me that motherfucker was too ugly to listen to, but on his quest for acceptance he took the first offer than came his way from a real life celebrity and that was to pay him to keep his mouth shut. He’s a fucking pussy, even though he doesn’t have one, he’s just rocking a man cunt that I am sure a whole lot of young big dicked fags have cum inside many times, while doing meth they bought with Hilton’s money.

Point of the story is that I’d probably take Paris’ money too, but only because I am poor but I’d still say she was a worthless washed up cunt subliminally. Censoring yourself for dollars is pretty fucking weak and since I hae no respect for motherfucker, I guess I couldn’t lose respect for him, but I did get to remind myself why I have no respect for him.

Either way here are some pictures of Paris Hilton that made their rounds yesterday, I guess it’s the only way her herpes ridden ass can stay in the public eye, because it seems like mainstream guys like big tits enough to ignore a busted, broken down haggared face with nothing to offer, but a weight gain, a muff gut and face that’s going to look like a fucking catcher’s mitt in a couple of years, cuz cocaine’s no substitute for Oil of Olay, not to mention her push up bra with rubber inserts to make her look like she isn’t as flat chested as her fat ass is.

I am nice, now go fuck yourself, if you’re a chick, do it on camera, I am a dirtbag and have no standards.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

18

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton's Fake Tits of the Day

0 Comments

The funny news of the day is that Perez Hilton was paid by Paris Hilton’s people to not talk shit about her. I think that’s called selling out, but that’s not really surprising considering this fucker was hated so much growing up that he was a gun short of a school shooting. instead he took the high road and through years of self-hatred ended up with a shitty site that everyone started reading, god fucking knows why, because it was pretty clear to me that motherfucker was too ugly to listen to, but on his quest for acceptance he took the first offer than came his way from a real life celebrity and that was to pay him to keep his mouth shut. He’s a fucking pussy, even though he doesn’t have one, he’s just rocking a man cunt that I am sure a whole lot of young big dicked fags have cum inside many times, while doing meth they bought with Hilton’s money.

Point of the story is that I’d probably take Paris’ money too, but only because I am poor but I’d still say she was a worthless washed up cunt subliminally. Censoring yourself for dollars is pretty fucking weak and since I hae no respect for motherfucker, I guess I couldn’t lose respect for him, but I did get to remind myself why I have no respect for him.

Either way here are some pictures of Paris Hilton that made their rounds yesterday, I guess it’s the only way her herpes ridden ass can stay in the public eye, because it seems like mainstream guys like big tits enough to ignore a busted, broken down haggared face with nothing to offer, but a weight gain, a muff gut and face that’s going to look like a fucking catcher’s mitt in a couple of years, cuz cocaine’s no substitute for Oil of Olay, not to mention her push up bra with rubber inserts to make her look like she isn’t as flat chested as her fat ass is.

I am nice, now go fuck yourself, if you’re a chick, do it on camera, I am a dirtbag and have no standards.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day

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I was talking to someone today about how the older this bitch gets the more she looks like a dude. She always had the feet the size of a basketball player and I never really bothered taking it as a sign, but now it’s hard to miss, especially when she’s got more bulge in her panties than I do when I wear women’s clothing. I don’t do it because I get off to it, I do it because times are tough and my wife got fat leaving all kinds of panties that are in my size, so being a practical person, I figured why the fuck bother buying new shit when we had perfectly good ones lying around, not to mention they make me feel pretty and a guy is allowed to feel pretty sometimes by my rules.

Either way, here’s a Paris upskirt to get you through your day. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

11

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton and Her New Boyfriend of the Day

0 Comments

I read somewhere that Paris Hilton sues websites that say she has herpes. I want to get sued by Paris Hilton because it will give me something to do with myself, a purpose. So here are pictures of Paris and some punk she gave herpes. It’s apparently defamation of character to say that, even though we’ve all seen pictures of her Valtrex Herpes medication and her get fucked without a condom on.

I know for a fact that bitch has herpes, I used to have a text message relationship with Stavros and he pretty much implied it when he accidently wrote me saying “Where you at?” thinking I was someone else. That’s one of my arguments if bitch comes after me, my other argument is that dude’s a total frat boy cunt proven by he’s lame t-shirt and stupid hair, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to get sued by the stars because I am a fucking loser.

Bonus – Paris Hilton Modeling Her Own Tacky Piece of Shit Clothing Line. Her Hips are Lookin’ Like She’s Been Eating Too Much Ice Cream With Fat Dudes…and Hips Don’t Lie.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

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