I was trying to pick up a girl once and I am socially awkward. I told her she better save up her money from working to pay for all the abortions I planned on giving her. When she gave me a look of disgust I told her that she could always bring the baby to term, destroy her body, mainly her vagina, making my chiuaua in the penis world of a cock obselete, but i’d be more than happy to support her and the baby, if the baby’s life consisted of a short walk to the dumpster, if you know what I mean. I wanna role like the prom queen no one knew was pregnant….

Point of the story is that I wish Melissa Joan Hart took some action before getting her useless womb cum covered. Just think, about a year ago this motherfucker coulda ended up in the vaccuum cleaner…

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on the kid, it’s not it’s fault it’s mother is a useless whore. See that was my soft side, now let’s cuddle.

Bonus Picture for the Babyfuckers Who Read this Site:

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The funny thing about rich sluts with a botched tit job is that they always get what they want, even if that thing is someone else’s husband. Tori Spelling’s career was short lived. As a 15 year old neglected daughter of Aaron Spelling, the biggest thing in TV Production, he has the longest IMDB I have ever had in me. But point of the story is that most rich dad’s buy their daughters ponies, this rich dad gave his daughter a part on his show…..his whiney “just got her period” slut of a daughter begged daddy to let her be on the show and since motherfucker already had all the money in the world and pretty much owned your TV, he decided to give her a role. It was easier than actually having to parent her. This way she’d shut the fuck up at home and instead of being a pain in the ass at home, she’d annoy the rest of the fucking country on TV.

As any 25 year old who has jerked off to her gaping breast implants back in 1992, when breast implants weren’t really on TV, knows, she homewrecked some Canadian actor from some shitty Canadian show by seducing him with her diamond coated cunt, he knocked her up and shotgun married her. He made the right decision, because let’s face it, his ex-wife doesn’t have a rich father who’s scheduled to die anytime now. It’s a solid retirement plan for someone who’s acting career is going nowhere.

This post wasn’t funny, but it’s fucking Tori Spelling, what the hell do you expect me to say. Now go fuck yourself.

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Today’s lesson is that Lesbians like scooters and office supplies. I was sitting outside an office supply store and I saw at least 2 lesbians ride in on scooter in tandem. One guarded the helmets, when the other one went inside to buy what I can only assume were SEX AIDS, not the disease but the tool that would replace the penis in lesbian sex. I am talking staplers, markers, white boards or maybe even a wireless mouse. Fucking sluts.

Speaking of sluts, here are some pics of Micha Barton rockin’ the Jewish Outfit of the Day, while pretty much banging her boyfriend CISCO ADLER in public. I can never live down the shame of the first time I jerked off to this bitch. It was a couple years ago from her role in The Sixth Sense, and it was a time I coincidently had a thing for poisoned 14 year old corpses under the bed. Yes that just gets me damp in my pants.

Here’s some pics of Lima rockin’ the Jewish Outfit of the Day to make up for the ugly piece of shit that is Micha….

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I am the first to admit I am a lazy fuck. I get unmotivated cuz this shit doesn’t make me money, I get constant hate mail and it’s summer. I have been hanging out at Starbucks seducing 15 year old girls in grade 10. Their dad’s are rich, so I figure if I knock them up, I’ll be set for life and 14 is legal.

I turned on my one channel to see Regis and Kelly hosting a wedding. I always found the talk show weddings tacky as shit, and I am not a very classy person, so that means they are bad. The groom’s always some Army dude rockin’ his bullshit uniform, because I guess he’s proud to be American or some shit. Deep down inside, he’s probably kicking himself for dropping out of highschool, because as killing Arabs for his country may be, there’s a big chance of him coming back without a leg or in a coffin….Point of the story is, what happened to only caring about ourselves? What’s with all this national pride? Fuck the Army, get a job at Wal Mart, everyone else is doing it.

Unfortunately, not everyone else is getting eating out in public like our favorite Scandanavian set of fake tits, because if they were, I’d never stop masturbating.

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Some fucking hippie who is drinking coffee at Starbucks just started ruckus. He was yelling at some 300 pound dude for opening the window because he felt that Air Conditioning the outside was unacceptable by his hippie standards. He felt like taking these environmental issues into his own hands like he was back in the 60’s protesting the war, only problem is that he was born in 1985. So there’s motherfucker freaking out about how bad having a window open in the summer is, all while drinking his non-fat latte rockin’ his high-end salon made dreads…. I have neglected the site the last couple days. I blame you.

Here’s some pics of Victoria Beckham’s hot thin legs.

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Some fucking hippie who is drinking coffee at Starbucks just started ruckus. He was yelling at some 300 pound dude for opening the window because he felt that Air Conditioning the outside was unacceptable by his hippie standards. He felt like taking these environmental issues into his own hands like he was back in the 60’s protesting the war, only problem is that he was born in 1985. So there’s motherfucker freaking out about how bad having a window open in the summer is, all while drinking his non-fat latte rockin’ his high-end salon made dreads…. I have neglected the site the last couple days. I blame you.

Here’s some pics of Victoria Beckham’s hot thin legs.

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There is nothing more pathetic than watching some used-to-be fat guy clutch onto the first girl who showed him the time of day and helped him avoid being a washed up DJ from Crazytown by getting him booked at her dad’s celebrity friends’ birthday parties. He now gets 20,000 dollars a gig.

It is a lot more pathetic when the girl he is clutching onto is Nicole Richie, an ex-needle sharing heroin addict who fucked half of her dealers and any other guy with a penis, because let’s face it, penis made her feel some self-worth.

Bitch will never respect a motherfucker who thinks she’s a fucking goddess and who runs after her like her pussy is made of chocolate, because she hates herself and only wants to land guys who hate her too.

She’s the kind of girl who you give a fake name to and bang with 2 rubbers at her house (so she doesn’t find out where you live).

This is all speculation of course, as I have no insiders, cuz you’re all a bunch of unemployed virgins. Thanks for reading. Cunts.

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I have to spend the afternoon in court, so I won’t be back until later on tonight. So if you’re reading this, come back later, I may have some new stuff up….I never said that it would be good new stuff…just that it would be new.

Paris Hilton tried to start shit with my girl LOHAN again. So if anyone reading this knows Paris, be sure to cunt-punch the slut. I am not sure if she’s got any feeling left in her mound, you know after all the burn wounds, but at least she’ll know we’re trying to get her in her money maker (cuz she’s a slut).

That’s the story I heard.

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I hate the way this link dump looks. There’s got to be a better way to do this. Check out the links and send in some links if you got any,click the envelope at the top of the page, it’s just that complicated.

Here are the StepLINKS:

Agent Provocateur Has Lingerie You can Masturbate to – GO –

Howard Stern on Letterman in 1988 – GO –

Toni Braxton Flashing More Panty – GO –

Nerds Make Me Laugh (You’d Probably Like Banging Some Of These) – GO-

Melissa Midwest Shows Her Box Video – GO –

Star Catcher is Funny, They Stand Outside Clubs With A Camera – GO –

If you Haven’t Seen Tera Patrick’s Box, They are Here – GO –

Sarah Connor’s Cameltoe (I love Toe) – GO –

Teen Lesbian Birthday Parties are Hotter than any party I’ve ever had – GO –

Attu Likes Jenna Jameson Enough to Post a Picture Set of her Naked – GO –

A Bunch of Christina Aguilera Pics For you To Love – GO –

So You Think You Can Do a Backflip (idiot) – GO –

You getting laid used to pay for my server, now you don’t get laid – GO –

My MySpace For You to Add Me – GO –

Charlie Laine rides the Sybian – GO –

To See Charlie Laine’s Porn Via AskJolene – GO –

Party Girls Bore the Fuck Out of Me, You probably Love ‘Em – GO –

Tattoo of the Day – GO –

Street Art of the Day – Mark Jenkin’s In DC – GO –

Last Night Party at some Canada Event – Steve Has Banged All of These Girls – GO –

I want these fuckers to advertise on my site and The Descendents used to be My Fav Band – GO – (CLICK LIKE CRAZY)

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