I don’t know if these motherfuckers are starting a fucking orphanage, but there are a lot of kids in these pictures. Maybe it’s got something to do with Michael’s craddle robbing fetish. Either way, this motherfucker has ruined this Mexican bitch, who was once hot. Speaking of Mexican, some motherfucker wrote this about me;

The guy who writes Drunken stepfather is pretty clearly neither Mexican nor anti-semitic, but rather some dude from Quebec who may or may not be himself Jewish (I’m guessing “may�) who is doing his best to ape the style and tone of Vice Magazine, also from Montreal, which he also disparages on occasion with often lackluster results.

When I read that drunk last night it made me mad, because I HATE Vice with a passion and anyone who knows me, knows that. I have never read a full Vice Article in my life and I think Gavin (the founder) is a completely useless cokehead piece of shit. He’s banged some friends of mine and he’s a poser. Not to mention, I would never turn Jewish, not even for the hottest piece of ass, because I will always have a thing for Santa Maria and Santa Claus, it’s kinda who I am. Now go fuck your self.

Speaking of fucking yourself, why aren’t girls sending in anymore “DRAW YOUR VAGINA AND DESCRIBE IT IN 10 WORDS OR LESS”

Bonus – Them Getting on a Plane – Be Excited

Update – they opened a children’s hospital

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I had a friend who used to talk about how this bitch was a natural beauty. How she defined stunning and how other girls were hot, but she embodied class, or some shit. I have a pretty bad fucking memory and I am not much of a listener. I do remember he used to say she was like a porcelain doll, because I found that a creepy thing to look for in a bitch. The overall vibe was that he thought she was modern day classic like Hepburn. I never saw the appeal. For as long as I remember I was scared of firecrotch. The reason is that I thought Redheads were freaks that belonged in freakshows, with their pasty skin, freckles and inability to tan. I wanted to campaign parents to leave their redheads in woods, forget about them, and start again fresh, like they did in the middle ages, when they thought redheads were Satan’s spawn.

I have had a change of heart, not about Kidman, bitch has gone way the fuck downhill and looks like a treasure troll, but a change of heart towards redheads. I am on a quest to go down on one this year. I don’t know why – but I do know I am really curious to see what they are like up close. It’s kinda like a Klu Klux Klansman wanting a piece of the unfavorable pussy, only I never burnt a redhead on a cross or dragged one behind my Chevy pick up….I don’t know where I am going with this.

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There’s a man who walks around this city on 2 uneven legs. Dude’s usually asking around for change and I have yet to give him any because I don’t like talking to people who look like they are straight out of a horror movie. That’s no to say I don’t talk to homeless people, I am practically one of them, but think back to your high school years and remember that there were some people you didn’t talk to, like the dude who wore jogging pants, smelt like cum and always talked to himself. That is this guy of the homeless world.

I do however like people who are in porn movies, and if I was ever approached by that Lara Roxx bitch who got AIDs in porn 2 years ago, I’d totally give her a quarter, while wearing a latex glove and a surgical mask.

This frankenstein motherfucker walked out a coffee shop with toilet paper hanging out of his pants. He didn’t realize. We took the picture. That’s the story I heard.

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There’s a man who walks around this city on 2 uneven legs. Dude’s usually asking around for change and I have yet to give him any because I don’t like talking to people who look like they are straight out of a horror movie. That’s no to say I don’t talk to homeless people, I am practically one of them, but think back to your high school years and remember that there were some people you didn’t talk to, like the dude who wore jogging pants, smelt like cum and always talked to himself. That is this guy of the homeless world.

This frankenstein motherfucker walked out a coffee shop with toilet paper hanging out of his pants. He didn’t realize. We took the picture. That’s the story I heard.

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Back with some links…you should check them out. I expect you to hate every one of them, but I didn’t do it with that in mind. If you got links to send in – click the envelope top right on this page.

Our First Time Being Quoted Here

Our Dude’s Penis Is Smaller than Yours, of the day Here

Our Favorite Way to Get Laid and Paid Here

Our What’s on her Nipple of the Day Here

Our Favorite Skinny Cunts, Nicole Richie and Micha Baron on the Beach Here

Our Sexual Fantasy from 5 Years Ago, X-Tina Discusses her new Video Here

Our favorite Fetish, Kate Beckinsale Talks Breast Milk Here

Our Favorite Person in Miami, Produced a Pretty GAY Video Here

Our Favorite Goalie to Do Coke With Banged Paris Sunday Here

Our favorite Ghost Whisperer’s Nipples Hangin’ Low Here

Our Favorite Spread…Aria Giovanni Spread Open in Club Confidential Here

Our favorite hobby, watching girls oil up in a kiddie pool Here

Our new Favorite Song On Our Myspace Profile Listen Here

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Some dude named Slomo (for obvious reasons) sent in these pics of Jessica Simpson. I am 99% sure that isn’t her real nipple, but figured I’d post it anyway, because I really don’t get many emails and I feel that finally getting one warrants a post. Point of the story is I like the way Jessica Simpson handles the microphone. I read somewhere that it was a trick daddy taught her back when they were poor Baptists, so poor that they’d use his dick as the “microphone”, but only when mommy was out getting groceries.

Speaking of mic control, I used to be a Karaoke. I was usually shit wasted and could barely stand but always felt like Women in Songs 10 – The Forgotten Years, everytime I got on stage. My song of choice was I think we’re alone now by Tiffany….now children behave…then go fuck yourselves. I hate all of you for not making this site more popular.

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I almost had an ad deal closed today, but then the dude emailed me back telling me to forget it and that he wasn’t going to go through with it. This has been the story of the site, people are scared to advertise because I post to tits, I say stupid shit, and they don’t want to get their conservative asses in trouble by their conservative companies so it’s better to just tell this homeless looking obese man in Canada to fuck off than to take a risk and support some next level shit….I agreed to give him a test plug to see how well the site performs prior to his turning his back on me. I am a man of my word so here is the link. Click this shit as much as you can, blow up their fucking servers if you can just to let them know they made a mistake and I don’t want their fucking money anymore.

Some girls named “Hairy Man” added me to IM today. She told me her name was to deter perverts like me and asked if I thought there was a market for amputee porn paintings she’s been making….I told her that I knew she was a hairy man jerking off while typing to me and that I wanted nothing to do with her/him…but if she/he wanted to send me any stump porn I’d be down, cuz I am experimental like that….If I get pics or a myspace, proving she’s a hot amputee porn producer, you’ll be the first to know…

Here are the links for the day….

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I know that no one cares about Canada and that no one cares about Award Shows so based on my backwards logic, all of you care about award shows in Canada. These motherfuckers rejected my application for press access because they are racist fucking cunts.(READ MMVA REJECTION POST).

The motherfuckers had Perez and Paris Hilton up here, they also had the gardener from Desperate Housewives and Fall Out Boy, everyone’s favorite fat guitarist. A real fucking success if you ask me, which technically you did if you are reading this. Don’t worry, I hate you too….

This is the event I was not allowed into…

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There are a lot of strip clubs in Montreal. I have been to most of them. I have had lap dances in most of them. I have grabbed tits and ass and fallen in love in most of them. I have yet to get blowjobs or vagina sex in them, because that costs 100 dollars that I don’t have that kind of money, because you cunts don’t tell your friends about this site.

This is a video of the dude outside the strip club who tries to lure in men off the street. I applied for the job a few times, but was turned down for my weight. I felt like a teenage girl trying to get a modeling contract. That’s the story I heard.

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I was trying to pick up a girl once and I am socially awkward. I told her she better save up her money from working to pay for all the abortions I planned on giving her. When she gave me a look of disgust I told her that she could always bring the baby to term, destroy her body, mainly her vagina, making my chiuaua in the penis world of a cock obselete, but i’d be more than happy to support her and the baby, if the baby’s life consisted of a short walk to the dumpster, if you know what I mean. I wanna role like the prom queen no one knew was pregnant….

Point of the story is that I wish Melissa Joan Hart took some action before getting her useless womb cum covered. Just think, about a year ago this motherfucker coulda ended up in the vaccuum cleaner…

I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on the kid, it’s not it’s fault it’s mother is a useless whore. See that was my soft side, now let’s cuddle.

Bonus Picture for the Babyfuckers Who Read this Site:

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