When you don’t have a job and you do have and endless supply of money from your grandfather’s success, you go to Cannes during the Film Fest with Brandon Davis, your friend who is also living off Grandpa’s black gold cash, because that’s the place to be. I am not about to dis privileged kids, because you can’t control that shit. When you are raised by fucked up rich parents, you can’t expect to get much support emotionally, because they are too busy living fabulous. So they can buy their expensive clothes and cars, and go on their expensive vacations and all that, but they are just as miserable as you. Only difference is they are better medicated. In reality, we are all equally fucked up, whether we come from poverty and work shitty jobs to pay for our 5 kids with 5 different women, or if we have trust funds that make working obsolete. I think the only happy people in life are retarded people. It’s that whole ignorance is bliss shit. Give them a couple rocks to bang together and a place to masturbate chronically to a picture of Paris Hilton’s cameltoe and motherfuckers will smile and drool like never before. That’s the first post of the day, how’d you feel about it?

Bonus:

Some Crazy Mexican Yells at Brandon Davis and She’s Not very Good

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When you don’t have a job and you do have and endless supply of money from your grandfather’s success, you go to Cannes during the Film Fest with Brandon Davis, your friend who is also living off Grandpa’s black gold cash, because that’s the place to be. I am not about to dis privileged kids, because you can’t control that shit. When you are raised by fucked up rich parents, you can’t expect to get much support emotionally, because they are too busy living fabulous. So they can buy their expensive clothes and cars, and go on their expensive vacations and all that, but they are just as miserable as you. Only difference is they are better medicated. In reality, we are all equally fucked up, whether we come from poverty and work shitty jobs to pay for our 5 kids with 5 different women, or if we have trust funds that make working obsolete. I think the only happy people in life are retarded people. It’s that whole ignorance is bliss shit. Give them a couple rocks to bang together and a place to masturbate chronically to a picture of Paris Hilton’s cameltoe and motherfuckers will smile and drool like never before. That’s the first post of the day, how’d you feel about it?

Bonus:

Some Crazy Mexican Yells at Brandon Davis and She’s Not very Good

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Yesterday was the day of dance. We went to a dance recital, where we were asked if we were picking up kids 12 years old and younger….where I answered “obviously”….anyway after sitting through that dance recital we decided to make a day out of dance. We ended up at the movies where we saw Stick It and got a ton of dirty looks from the ppl in the theatre, because we weren’t 14 year old girls, and I really only did it to get kicked out of the place, thought it’d be funnier to write about getting busted sneaking into Stick It than sitting through the whole thing. Luckily, after every 14 year old instinctively avoided our row of seats some girl about my age sat next to me, I look up, obviously she’s someone I know, making the whole experience a fucking cliche/sitcom situation, that I guess really happen. We ended the night at the strippers and the girl Mya I feel in love recognized me from the last time I was there, where I gave her costume advice, telling her that she’d make more money in a bikini than stripper gear….Point of the story is Denise Richards is wearing a bikini and although lookin’ good is covering up her stretch marked belly, something I wish one of the Goth dancers last night did before showing me her tackle box (pierced 10 times) while dancing to German death metal. It’s bed time.

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Yesterday was the day of dance. We went to a dance recital, where we were asked if we were picking up kids 12 years old and younger….where I answered “obviously”….anyway after sitting through that dance recital we decided to make a day out of dance. We ended up at the movies where we saw Stick It and got a ton of dirty looks from the ppl in the theatre, because we weren’t 14 year old girls, and I really only did it to get kicked out of the place, thought it’d be funnier to write about getting busted sneaking into Stick It than sitting through the whole thing. Luckily, after every 14 year old instinctively avoided our row of seats some girl about my age sat next to me, I look up, obviously she’s someone I know, making the whole experience a fucking cliche/sitcom situation, that I guess really happen. We ended the night at the strippers and the girl Mya I feel in love recognized me from the last time I was there, where I gave her costume advice, telling her that she’d make more money in a bikini than stripper gear….Point of the story is Denise Richards is wearing a bikini and although lookin’ good is covering up her stretch marked belly, something I wish one of the Goth dancers last night did before showing me her tackle box (pierced 10 times) while dancing to German death metal. It’s bed time.

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I love how the websites I rip this shit off of think that seeing any girl in a bikini is a treat. Like it’s fucking Christmas or something. Let’s all go crazy over that bitch we saw in that movie cuz she is in a BIKINI because bikinis mean seeing lots more skin then the last set of paparazzi pics I saw of her shopping…. It’s like they sit at home all day and night, alone. It’s like they don’t get any pussy so they turn to the internet and fantasize about slamming girls they see in their favorite movies (Spiderman). I’d say it’s sad, but it really isn’t, if everyone had the skills to find pussy, the world would be way over-populated, we need the suicidal losers to help the whole ecosystem. And let’s face it – we’d all fuck Dunst even though she’s like a busted old pick up truck.

I do live in Canada though, and bitches here are too fat to wear bikinis, so when I see them (in person) I take a closer look, you know, lookin’ for a little nipple and a little camel toe. But the only time I see bikinis is in the strip club, which I have been to the last 3 days in a row, we are doing a StepExperiment. Last night, I fell in love with a French girl whose stripper name was Mya, real name Samantha. She kept shoving her nipple in my mouth, and even though I knew how many hands had touched those nipples, I couldn’t help but go along with it, because of the whole falling in love thing I mentioned. I blame the booze.

Bonus: THE ACTION SHOT

Bonus: Dunst Lookin Like a Retard

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I love how the websites I rip this shit off of think that seeing any girl in a bikini is a treat. Like it’s fucking Christmas or something. Let’s all go crazy over that bitch we saw in that movie cuz she is in a BIKINI because bikinis mean seeing lots more skin then the last set of paparazzi pics I saw of her shopping…. It’s like they sit at home all day and night, alone. It’s like they don’t get any pussy so they turn to the internet and fantasize about slamming girls they see in their favorite movies (Spiderman). I’d say it’s sad, but it really isn’t, if everyone had the skills to find pussy, the world would be way over-populated, we need the suicidal losers to help the whole ecosystem. And let’s face it – we’d all fuck Dunst even though she’s like a busted old pick up truck.

I do live in Canada though, and bitches here are too fat to wear bikinis, so when I see them (in person) I take a closer look, you know, lookin’ for a little nipple and a little camel toe. But the only time I see bikinis is in the strip club, which I have been to the last 3 days in a row, we are doing a StepExperiment. Last night, I fell in love with a French girl whose stripper name was Mya, real name Samantha. She kept shoving her nipple in my mouth, and even though I knew how many hands had touched those nipples, I couldn’t help but go along with it, because of the whole falling in love thing I mentioned. I blame the booze.

Bonus: THE ACTION SHOT

Bonus: Dunst Lookin Like a Retard

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So these are pics of Heidi Klum post pregancy and she looks bangin’ compared to that fat slob of a woman Carnie Wilson. I’d link it, but it’s 2 posts down, and if you can’t scroll down 2 posts, you don’t deserve to my help. What you do deserve is to be reminded that Heidi Klum is married to a black man with a mangled face, someone who she would never be with if he wasn’t who he was or as rich as he is. So the life advice of the day is that if you want to have sex with hot woman and you don’t have model looks on your side, you have 2 options. The first is to hit up the gym and get a body they see in magazines, because no matter what you have in the bank or where you live, girls will want to fuck you cuz you look like the guys they fantasize about. The other option is to find fame and fortune, because as Heidi and Seal prove, you can have half a face and still own the hottest pussy in town….I never said my lesson was one you didn’t already know…

Bonus: Other Pictures

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So these are pics of Heidi Klum post pregancy and she looks bangin’ compared to that fat slob of a woman Carnie Wilson. I’d link it, but it’s 2 posts down, and if you can’t scroll down 2 posts, you don’t deserve to my help. What you do deserve is to be reminded that Heidi Klum is married to a black man with a mangled face, someone who she would never be with if he wasn’t who he was or as rich as he is. So the life advice of the day is that if you want to have sex with hot woman and you don’t have model looks on your side, you have 2 options. The first is to hit up the gym and get a body they see in magazines, because no matter what you have in the bank or where you live, girls will want to fuck you cuz you look like the guys they fantasize about. The other option is to find fame and fortune, because as Heidi and Seal prove, you can have half a face and still own the hottest pussy in town….I never said my lesson was one you didn’t already know…

Bonus: Other Pictures

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Carmen Electra is one of those girls that you want to dis but there is really nothing about them that annoys you, other than the fact that she is a huge cocktease. She looks good, she’s in shape and she knows she’s a d-lister. She does infomercials, striptease aerobic DVDs, shitty MTV shows and the odd acting job and looks good doing it. She knows she’s useless and that her tits and ass have got her to where she is and I can’t really dis her for that. If I had my way all the girls I ever associate with or have to see would be bomb hot. I figured out a long time ago, that all bitches have issues and take effort, so if you’re going to be putting up with shit and investing energy, it might as well be to get shit thrown at you by a hot bodied girl than some fat nasty bitch…..Carmen Electra may tease all our cocks, but I’d rather be getting my cock teased by her, than actually getting pussy from a Carnie Wilson grade slag…That’s my story. Did you like it? You fuckin’ dirtbag.

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