I was on a drinking binge and when I am fucking on the floor throwing up blood the last shit I am thinking about is updating this fucking site. So reality is that my traffic goes to shit, I make no money and all you fuckers think I am useless. That’s okay with me – I have been called useless all my life. I’ve dropped the ball on all personal relationships, quests for ambition and most importantly financially. The one thing I have always been good at is drinking, get me a bottle of Jack and a pack of smokes and I will show you what a little hard work does. All this to say that Ryan Phillippe and Reese “June Carter” Witherspoon went to the beach, her belly isn’t what struck my eye, however her child in the position her mom conceived her in did. I am not into making sexual innuendos about little kids, but I do fucking hate it when you motherfuckers write “Awww, so cute”. Suck my fucking dick bitch, that shit’s cute, for me.

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I am sure I have told you this story before but I don’t give a fuck, I am drunk and drunk people repeat themselves because no one listens to us. This shit takes place in Texas, I was 12 and just kinda figuring out America, it was a big transition. I joined the baseball team, like every good hispanic does. I made friend’s with the coaches son and one day went over for dinner. I thought it was a little weird that they were running around the backyard naked, but I didn’t know better, I figured it was an American thing. When the son, coach and me were all done playing, naked, in the yard we sat around and the coach started telling us about sex and about pussy and how much he loved to fuck it. It was awkward but whatever – it was the American way. The lesson I remembered from that day was when coach told us if girls do steroids, their clits grow to the size of a grown man’s thumb….

I think I found a clip of a steroid clit. Enjoy.

Watch Video Here

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I like when people who shouldn’t be famous step in dog shit. It’s like god telling them that he agrees with me and thinks they are total pussies banking on their dead Mexican father’s celebrity. My dad was Mexican, we never met him, we think he was either one of my mom’s John or the wrestler who raped her. I like to think I was a product of a John because seriously, I’d rather be the son of a guy who pays a Mexican whore her $5 than be the son of a Wrestler. Wrestlers embarrass me.

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Bitch, I have already seen your pussy, I have seen you fuck and it will never get old mentioning the simple fact that you can’t suck dick for shit. I will also say that when I have already seen a bitch suck dick and get fucked by some child molesting pervert, I don’t get too excited when they prance around in a cute little lingerie costume. I won’t look twice at you bitch, I am saving my energy for a slut who I haven’t already seen fucked or sucking dick….you know what I mean? I remember when I used to hang with a stripper at some halfway house. She clearly wasn’t a very successful stripper, otherwise she’d have her own apartment. Anyway, I had seen her dance over and over and over and over again, I knew that pussy better than I knew the english language at the time. When she wasn’t working, she’d prance around in her underwear all the time and it did nothing for me – I had seen that shit a million times, but when the single battered mom who also lived in the halfway house with us would bend over to pick something up, and I’d see her underwear sticking out of her pants, I’d get an instant hard-on. That’s my story and that is why Paris in a snowsuit would probably turn me on a little more than this cliche halloween bullshit. Paris, you are like that halfway house hooker and single battered mother, I may not be able to get hard anymore, but your ass was so fuckin’ hot. If only I remembered your name, I’d 411 your ass.

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Bitch, I have already seen your pussy, I have seen you fuck and it will never get old mentioning the simple fact that you can’t suck dick for shit. I will also say that when I have already seen a bitch suck dick and get fucked by some child molesting pervert, I don’t get too excited when they prance around in a cute little lingerie costume. I won’t look twice at you bitch, I am saving my energy for a slut who I haven’t already seen fucked or sucking dick….you know what I mean? I remember when I used to hang with a stripper at some halfway house. She clearly wasn’t a very successful stripper, otherwise she’d have her own apartment. Anyway, I had seen her dance over and over and over and over again, I knew that pussy better than I knew the english language at the time. When she wasn’t working, she’d prance around in her underwear all the time and it did nothing for me – I had seen that shit a million times, but when the single battered mom who also lived in the halfway house with us would bend over to pick something up, and I’d see her underwear sticking out of her pants, I’d get an instant hard-on. That’s my story and that is why Paris in a snowsuit would probably turn me on a little more than this cliche halloween bullshit. Paris, you are like that halfway house hooker and single battered mother, I may not be able to get hard anymore, but your ass was so fuckin’ hot. If only I remembered your name, I’d 411 your ass.

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Bitch may like to get drunk and we know how crazy drunk girls get. They like getting a nice hard fucking after a night of hard drinking and it’s usually from some stranger they met that night. It feels nice to be loved even if it’s only for a few minutes and by some stranger. That’s not what this post is about, but it is the reason I make may way to clubs 30 mins before the end of the night. I am all for showing the haggard table scrabs a good time, because missing out on an opportunity is one of life’s mistakes. I think Eminem wrote a song about that, and that’s what makes this post all the more relevant to you. Anyway, Kirsten decides to rock a cat ear headband on halloween, I guess in efforts to show people how crazy she is, what she didn’t realize is that we all realized how crazy she was the night she drank a 40 of whiskey and threw up on herself. That’s right, we aren’t laughin’ at how cute your costume is, we are laughing at how you slur your words, you drunken bitch.

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I am not so into laughing, I find it annoying and making people laugh may be something that happens every once in a while, when people aren’t too disgusted with what I say and that is fine. I’d rather you laugh than me. If you are wondering where I am going with this, it’s just that one thing that always makes me laugh is when I look at a couple and imagine how they fuck. In this case it’s Avril and Sum 41. They are both Canadian so you can only assume they fuck like eskimos, but I am really more into knowing what her pussy smells like, does bitch maintain the bush, does she take it up the ass, does he take it up the ass and does he cums all over her face saying things like “I own you bitch”. The reason this makes me laugh, is cuz what happens behind closed doors is always way more entertaining than they shit they let us see, photograph and post on the internet. We will never know what makes Avril cum, but we do know that you haven’t cum with anyone but maybe a buddy watching porn on a friday night after a long game of Warcraft or whatever you losers who live in your mom’s basement while never getting pussy play….that’s my story.

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There are girls out there who always need a boyfriend. The bitches hate themselves so fucking much that the need to constant affection that only comes from another man. Whenever they are single, their lives go to shit, they turn to partying and one night stands, that are usually unprotected because condoms are for pussies, and realistically, once you are in a relationship you only raw dog making its pretty easy to raw dog random men you pick up when drunk. So you end up with AIDS or herpes, and it’s always a headache finding a dude with herpes to fill your gaping baby hole and dude’s with AIDS are usually homo. Point of all this is to say that Paris always has a bf, despite the fact that she fucks like a lesbian pretending to like dick, we all know this from her video.

Either way, here are some pics of her and some billionaire heir at a pool all cuddling and shit. I always thought greek guys were into fucking little boys up the ass, I guess they see that little boys in Paris’ dirty asshole.

Rumor on the street is that Da Werd is Jesus, discuss.

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I know what marriage is all about and shit’s not like it is in the movies. You are not retarded in love and on E all the time, that shit’s for the movies and for pussy whipped motherfuckers who eventually crack under pressure. So the media fucks up the world by tell us how things should be, making us all think how shit we are in comparisson, and spend a life time trying to mimic that shit. I am not cynical, I will just tell you that it never happens.

I do everything I can to do the opposite of the shit she would read in romance novels if she wasn’t too lazy to read, the opposite of what happens on soap operas which she watches everyday cuz bitch is on disability and sits on her ass all day, opposite of every romanctic comedy where the couple is all cuddles and smiles all the disgusting time, all in effort to get my wife to stand up, sit in her mobilette (that’s a government funded motor scooter for fat people), and drive the fuck away.

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie “I’m Mexican” Prinze seem to be feelin’ the way I’m feeling. A little “What the fuck did I do, and why do I have to wake up to your cunt face everyday”. Let’s hope they get divorced, their careers fall to shit, bitch develops a crack addiction and ends up working the strip club circuit. Not because I want to fuck her, but because I like other people’s misery, and rock bottom just makes my life feel a little more tolerable.

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I know what marriage is all about and shit’s not like it is in the movies. You are not retarded in love and on E all the time, that shit’s for the movies and for pussy whipped motherfuckers who eventually crack under pressure. So the media fucks up the world by tell us how things should be, making us all think how shit we are in comparisson, and spend a life time trying to mimic that shit. I am not cynical, I will just tell you that it never happens.

I do everything I can to do the opposite of the shit she would read in romance novels if she wasn’t too lazy to read, the opposite of what happens on soap operas which she watches everyday cuz bitch is on disability and sits on her ass all day, opposite of every romanctic comedy where the couple is all cuddles and smiles all the disgusting time, all in effort to get my wife to stand up, sit in her mobilette (that’s a government funded motor scooter for fat people), and drive the fuck away.

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie “I’m Mexican” Prinze seem to be feelin’ the way I’m feeling. A little “What the fuck did I do, and why do I have to wake up to your cunt face everyday”. Let’s hope they get divorced, their careers fall to shit, bitch develops a crack addiction and ends up working the strip club circuit. Not because I want to fuck her, but because I like other people’s misery, and rock bottom just makes my life feel a little more tolerable.

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