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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2005

08

Aug

I am – Email of the Day

I know the site has been a piece of shit lately. I recognize that and don’t really care what you think. You need to learn to lighten up and realize that the world does not revolve around your useless needs. In an ideal world that hot girl you know would be eating out your ass while you’re watching gay porn and eating a burrito, but this is real life and we can’t have everything we want, including an updated daily drunkenstepfather.com site. But since you use me for entertainment, I have no sympathy, because I can only give so much, you fucking user.

I got this email today, and I don’t understand it, but if you’d like to resond to this bitch for me, get ‘er done.

You know that is mean,you being their stepfather and talking about them. I think if you are going to say something like that about them that you should tell them not the whole world,if you was my stepfather and i read, i dont know what i would do. But i am not going to tell you the rest of how i feel about you saying this because i love Mariah’s songs. And you may not like her as a stepdaughter or any thing but i still do not think that you should be saying things like that unless you tell her and her sister.

Email her Here, I think she’s 13, I know some of you probably like that, but don’t get yourself arrested, and if you do try to meet her in a park, and a swat team’s there waiting for your pedophilic ass, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Girlfriend Dirty Pics

I love checking out pics of other people’s girlfriends. It’s probably got something to do with wanting what you can’t have. Generally, I can’t really have any girl, not only because I am married, but also because I lack the skills needed to make a wallet-fucking whore feel worthy and willing, you know, ready to whip out her pussy and throw that shit on my dick like a steak on the bbq…I don’t really know what I am talking about, other than the fact that when I think of other people’s girlfriends naked, I get really fucking hungry, and emotionally eat my way to happiness, while staring a pics of them on all fours….

This site, Book-Mark.Net Delivers the Goods….and if you know what’s good for you, you should start sending in pics of your dirty slut girlfriends naked, that shit inspires me and will make me post mo’faster than you can read.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Smokin’ Handjob of the Day

I fucking love handjob porn, it reminds me of innocent times that have come and gone, a time when I didn’t need to strap a bitch down with a PVC bodysuit to get hard, a time when I sat outside the 7 Eleven in texas and had a hot and heavy night with my Albino girlfriend who wasn’t comfortable fucking, because it meant that I had to gaze deeply into her red eyes…bitch didn’t believe me when I told her I just wanted her on all fours…the handjobs were magical and everytime I see a handjob porn it reminds me of those simpler times…the fact that these two girls are smoking makes me happy, because smoking is always cool, it makes everyone look like James Dean, and although he was a closet case, he still represented the teenage rebel, something you wish you could have been all those days spent at home alot playing Role-Playing games online….if only you started smoking, your whole teenage life woulda changed….I bet that makes you sad….

Gallery Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Smokin' Handjob of the Day

I fucking love handjob porn, it reminds me of innocent times that have come and gone, a time when I didn’t need to strap a bitch down with a PVC bodysuit to get hard, a time when I sat outside the 7 Eleven in texas and had a hot and heavy night with my Albino girlfriend who wasn’t comfortable fucking, because it meant that I had to gaze deeply into her red eyes…bitch didn’t believe me when I told her I just wanted her on all fours…the handjobs were magical and everytime I see a handjob porn it reminds me of those simpler times…the fact that these two girls are smoking makes me happy, because smoking is always cool, it makes everyone look like James Dean, and although he was a closet case, he still represented the teenage rebel, something you wish you could have been all those days spent at home alot playing Role-Playing games online….if only you started smoking, your whole teenage life woulda changed….I bet that makes you sad….

Gallery Here

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2005

08

Aug

I am – Olsen Twin’s Sunglasses

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to realize that they are no longer that cute little 3 year old on Full House anymore. They have to realize that although they may have all the money in the fucking world and the luxury to do whatever they please, they can’t change the fact that they are fucking ugly. Now you could say that plastic surgery is an option, but unfortunately we’d have a Michael Jackson on our hands, not that Michael Jackson’s ugly, I would rather get into bed with him that this bitch anyday but that’s only because he has a petting zoo and I fucking love petting zoos. My suggestion for this Olsen twin is simple, just get yourself bigger sunglasses, ones that cover your fucking disgusting mouth, you look like my 90 year old grandmother who spent 65 years sucking tourist cock in Tijuana. I am thinking a helmet with a visor will do, and on the positive side, if you trip and fall from heat exhaustion on a day that you skipped your toilet paper and water meal, you will prevent head trauma. See bitch, I am always thinking about your best fucking interests.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Olsen Twin's Sunglasses

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to realize that they are no longer that cute little 3 year old on Full House anymore. They have to realize that although they may have all the money in the fucking world and the luxury to do whatever they please, they can’t change the fact that they are fucking ugly. Now you could say that plastic surgery is an option, but unfortunately we’d have a Michael Jackson on our hands, not that Michael Jackson’s ugly, I would rather get into bed with him that this bitch anyday but that’s only because he has a petting zoo and I fucking love petting zoos. My suggestion for this Olsen twin is simple, just get yourself bigger sunglasses, ones that cover your fucking disgusting mouth, you look like my 90 year old grandmother who spent 65 years sucking tourist cock in Tijuana. I am thinking a helmet with a visor will do, and on the positive side, if you trip and fall from heat exhaustion on a day that you skipped your toilet paper and water meal, you will prevent head trauma. See bitch, I am always thinking about your best fucking interests.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Jessica Simpson Wax Ass

Jessica Simpson is at the height of her career. She’s been working out 3 hours a day so that she looks alright on a big screen for the redneck movie she’s in. She’s got a tight fucking body and huge tits and girl can sing. Take it while it’s hot, we can only anticipate her getting lazy and fat in the next couple of years, because that’s just what happens when your career goes to shit and you eat too much fucking ice cream. They’ve made a sex toy out of Jessica Simpson will 3 orificies to fuck, right now it’s on display in some wax museum you’ve all heard about, but when all the hype dies down she’ll be thrown in the dumpster out back and some lucky homeless guy’s gonna find himself a new wife. At times I am jealous of all the opportunity street people have with the luxury of not working or washing…this is one of those times…but I will find that homeless guy and buy his Jessica Simpson sex doll of him for a bottle of Jack…because that’s just how I’m living. Trust me when I say that it won’t be the first time I fuck some homeless dude’s sloppy seconds.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Big Brother Russia Sex

Being on a reality TV show is always a good way to pigeonhole yourself. People all think that their 5 mins of fame on one of these shows will end up giving them so many more oppotunites that will make them the next Tom Cruise, but the reality of reality TV is that you play yourself, you are edited to shit, everything is skewed to have a dramatic effect and you walk away from the experience humilated and hated by the rest of Society. The best concept for a Reality TV show is Big Brother, it’s all about locking motherfuckers up in a house and seeing how they interact after providing them with a bunch of booze to get the party started and make shit interesting….all while cameras are installed in every room of the house allowing average hillbilly trash watch the dynamic of the human experience. The good thing about the human experience is that it always comes down to sex, and on big brother we get to see the sex so it’s amateur porn in full effect, but it’s okay because it’s reality TV. These 2 Russians get caught on camera gettin down after a night of drinking…the good news for them is that by doing a reality TV show in Russia is the 3 people own TVs so the chance of running your life is a hell of a stetch. The reason only 3 people have TVs is because of communism. Embrace your freedom you dirty Americans.

Check the Clips Out

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Fleshlight Discussion Board Post of the Day

I think that people who fuck fleshlights are funny because they are clearly people who can’t get real pussy, but try to pretend that they get so much pussy they need to use a Fleshlight in between all the pussy to keep them ready for the pussy that throws itself at them later that day. I like the way these virgins pretend to know what a real pussy feels like and constantly talk about how real the fleshlight is in comparison to real pussy, all the while not knowing what real pussy is….because if they knew what a real pussy felt like, they would know that a fleshlight although mimics a pussy it sure isn’t the real fucking thing….the problem with the fleshlight is that it implies that most men only care about the pussy and other orifices like the ass and mouth, without including the emotional attachment we all deeply crave. Fact is a rubber pussy is never a real pussy and that you have just read a post that broke the record for using the word pussy the most….that leads me into the Fleshlight post of the day:

The Fleshlight I ordered is the Pink Lady Super Tight Wonder Wave. Upon removing it from the box, I was impressed at how lifelike the material of the insert felt. After rinsing it thouroughly and soaking it in very warm water for about 5 minutes, I put on some porn, applied some lube to both myself and the insert and went at it. WOW–it felt very similar to a real vagina. I experimented a bit with the end-cap/suction control and found that looser(less suction) was better. One of the best parts of this first session was the fact that while watching the porn while using the Fleshlight, it was much easier to imagine myself in the situation depicted on screen than would have been the case were I using my hand. Well, needles to say, the session ended with a very good orgasm. As this is the only sexual apparatus I’ve ever used, I can’t compare it to the competition, but I can’t imagine anything comming closer to the real thing that Fleshlight. I look forward to many future sessions with this amazing product. Thanks ILF!!
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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

08

Aug

I am – Britney Spears Upskirt

I was surpised to see this dirtbag whore wearing underwear, it would have been nice if she has been wearing a chastity belt the night she got pregant, because sucking dirty cock won’t get you knocked up with a dirtbag fetus that will only crow up to be a total fuck-up…I predict Britney’s kid will not only be a spoiled white trash hip hop brat, but he will also drop out of school, do lots of meth and beat up his skanky girlfriends before dying of a drug overdose, that is if he doesn’t die of mal-nourishment as an infant because of Britney’s poor diet and rancid breast milk. I guess that wasn’t a very funny post, it was kinda morbid, the humor is that Britney will give birth without realizing it…baby Spears-Federline will just fall out of her junk without her knowing, because she’s trash and that’s just how it goes down….I guess it’s better that she does wear underwear that doubles as a safety net for her little offspring……in the mean time…get a glimpse of the mound that was raw dogged and that is soon to be significantly enlarged….pregnancy’s a bitch…but it’s such a beautiful thing. RESPECT.

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