I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2008

06

Feb

Heather Graham and Her See Through Top at Fashion of the Day

I remember a time when Heather Graham was showing off her huge bush in movies, now all she’s doing is showing off her huge tits in a stupid see-through shirt with a bra on in an outfit that reminds me of the flea market in 1992.

If you don’t understand that reference, you obviously didn’t work at the same flea market as me, where I was forced to help some asshole set-up his booth selling army surplus shit and I’d get paid 50 dollars a day. His booth was positioned between a crazy hippie bitch who sold those weird asian pictures of waterfalls that light up and the closest thing to the local sex shop at a time before sex shops.

This booth was designed for biker wives and truck driving wives and pretty much any bitch who looked like Christina Aguilera with her fake tits, fake hair and pounds of make-up. Most of them were either strippers who shouldn’t be strippers if they were in the city but since it was all they knew they were allowed to work and the ones who weren’t strippers just looked like they were.

Either way, they’d load up on the dumbest shit that I never found hot because of the girls who were wearing it. I’m talking spandex pants that looked like jeans and jeans that were so tight they’d have zippers down the seam around the ankle so the bitch could fit her feet through. They had cut off shorts and panty hose and the original g-string, they had american flag bikinis and bodysuit tops that snapped in the crotch so that they looked tight as fuck on their flappy chain smoking bodies. They had sheer, they had mesh, they had leather and they always had a fucking line-up like it was a motorcycle convention and they were in line to meet Ozzy Osborne or AC/DC whoever the fuck these trashy bitches get soft-ons for.

I guess it doesn’t really matter, what does is that Heather Graham is leaving some G-Star fashion show because G-Star is a second rate brand and Heather Graham is a second rate celebrity in some 1992 second rate stripper outfit and I still think it’s worth posting, but that’s just because she’s standing all crooked and that makes me think she’s drunk enough to stuff into my drunk and drive her home to meet my rubber vagina collection..not that I have a car, but you get what I am saying…..a little too well….and that’s why I am scared of you.


Related Posts:

Heather Graham Looks Like Meth
Some Heather Graham Stretch Mark TIts
Some Old Heather Graham Bikini Pics and One of My Best Posts of All Time
Here’s Some See Through Action of the Past

Posted in:NY Fashion Week|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Huge Tits Go to Best Buy of the Day

I can’t quite figure out what the fuck is going on with Christina Aguilera’s face but I feel like she’s stuck in a black and white movie from the 1950s. She looks like some kind of cheap trashy bitch who should be shaking her ass at a gogo dancing at a school dancing while chain smoking, or maybe wearing leather pants and driving around on motorcycle like some kind of rebel’s girlfriend or even serving me some apple pie at the roadside dinner when I am driving cross country in pink Cadilac convertible. She’s like a small town beautician who considers herself an artist with an easel filled with lipstick colors and a canvas that is her face….who goes door to door selling Avon..

I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that her hair and face is over the fucking top and her post pregnancy tits are busting out of her top because I guess titties get bigger when they are full of milk. The reality is that the only good thing about pregnancy is the breast milk, fuck the kid, it’s just a headache, the breast milk is like you never have to go to the store again because your chick is your very own dairy cow and her udders are twice the size they were when you met her like you won some kind of lottery because when you make your own food in your body it saves a lot of money. I used to dream about how amazing it would be to shit out a turkey dinner or even a burger or an extra large pizza like I was my very own self-sufficient canteen van outside the factory. Unfortunately every time I tried to do it, it just made a stinky shitty mess all over a paper plate.

BONUS – Christina Must have had the day off the kid because she also took her tits to vote…like a good citizen….


Related Posts:

stepTV Does Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus
Christina Aguilera’s Big Tits in China
Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy TIts in Action
Christina Aguilera’s Got Some Crazy Fucking Cleavage

Posted in:Huge Tits|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Katherine Mcphee and Her Male Pattern Balding Older Husband on their Honeymoon of the Day

Katherine Mcphee married a 46 year old balding dude who either has a huge cock or a lot of money or both. He probably offers her some kind of support her dad never offered her, even though I have a memory of seeing him crying like a girl at every American Idol performance, but maybe that’s the kind of emasculation that makes a woman feel like she has two mothers and leads her to banging a dude twice her age because he is a real man with a big bank account who never settled down because he was too busy building that bank account but now is ready to because money isn’t everything and a hot piece of 20 something ass is…once you have all that money….

Then again, I could be wrong, maybe it wasn’t her father crying at her American Idol performances and it was actually Ruben Studdard’s heart crying for oxygen as it slowly died a little more with every drop of sweat that dripped off his forehead each time her performed, or it could have been Clay Aiken’s mother crying because she doesn’t approve of gays, or maybe it was just Paula having a drug induced breakdown on set after fucking that dude Justin. I only watched Idol drunk and have a pretty shitty memory in general.

I guess none of that really matters, what does matter is that this is Katherine Mcphee and her eating disorder walking around in a little blue dress on her honeymoon with the old guy she married because she’s dressed in blue to match the pill this fucker is going to be taking to live out all the fantasies he’s kept bottled up all these years because when he was 23, no girls gave him the time of day….and now that he has money…they do and won’t be going to far until he’s done with them. It’s in the prenup.


Related Posts:

Katherine Mcphee’s Underwear Flash
The Katherine Mcphee Weight Loss Plan
Katherine Mcphee has Big Cleavage
Katherine Mcphee Has Some Idol Cleavage

Posted in:Bikini Top|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Rihanna and Her Umbrella of the Day

It turns out that that Rihanna is a whore and not the kind of whore I like, you know the ones who work the back alleys and smell of other men they serviced 2 days earlier, with rotting teeth and an addiction to crack that leads to cheap sex, Rihanna is the worst kind of whore and that is one with no pride but a whole lot of greed. We get it, this bitch sang about umbrellas and now it seems only fitting that she attach her name to and market umbrellas….because it will liner her fucking pockets. I hear she’s already working on song called “Drinking My Juicer Juice” or some other infomercial bullshit.

This kinda reminds me of the time my doctor who was cutting me pain killer prescriptions on the down low signed himself into rehab for having a painkiller addiction, only he wasn’t really making money off going to rehab, he actually lost money and his medical license, so maybe it’s not at all the same, but I do know that this shit is not very punk rock and that Rihanna and her umberalla are fuckin’ sell outs and that doesn’t change the fact that I want to make it rain on them ho with my semen.


Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Concert is Like Porn
Rihanna Performs in Latex with an Umbrella
Rihanna in a Bikini
Rihanna in a One Piece Bathing Suit

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Mia Tyler is a Naked Plus Sized Model of the Day

I am pretty sure that these pictures aren’t new, but since staying on top of plus-sized models has never been my thing, since getting on top of plus sized wives is my thing and not really by choice. It’s pretty much the same thing as being fed the same shitty meal every fucking day for the last 5 years then finally convincing your wife to take you out to a buffet and seeing that one of the options is the same shitty meal you’ve been eating the last 5 years on the restaurant version and deciding to stay as far the fuck away from that as possible because you’ve exhausted that shit. I don’t know if that makes sense, but to make it make sense, I’ll put it like this….I don’t like seeing fat chicks naked or clothed because I live with one and don’t even wnt to see her naked and clothed. If there’s something wrong with that, you can blame my wife for being so disgusting and ruining fat chicks for me forever, because I obviously haven’t always hated fat chicks if I made the fucking beautiful life commitment that is marriage to a fat chick…..

Either way, this is Mia Tyler, she is Steven Tyler’s daughter who looks like she’s been stealing his food for the last 25 years explaining why he’s so skinny and she’s so fat…and now you can die knowing what her big tits look like and you can thank cake and emotional eating from growing up without a daddy who sent check from his concerts on the road but never sent hugs when that’s all she really wanted, for making all this possible.


Related Posts:

Liv Tyler Bikini Pictures
Liv Tyler Needs More than Just Make Up
Fergie and Steven Tyler Performing
Steven Tyler is a Clown

Posted in:Mia Tyler|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Coleen McLoughlin is in a Bikini of the Day


Related Posts:

Coleen McLoughlin in a Red Bikini
More Coleen McLoughlin Bikini Action

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Christine Lakin from Paris Hilton’s Movie Does FHM of the Day

This is the girl who was on the show Step by Step that I used to jerk off to because TGIF was my porn before the internet and Step by Step was one of my favorites but that’s just because I have a thing for extended families, you know with being a stepfather and all. If you don’t remember this shit, it was on every friday and a slutty Susanne Somers was married to Pat Duffy and had a bunch of kids and this Christine Lakin was one of them.

She’s in Paris Hilton’s new movie that I want to pretend doesn’t exist and she plays Paris Hilton’s ugly friend, which is a joke in and of itself because Paris Hilton isn’t hot and Lakin is. Paris reminds me of this pet bird I used to have that was missing an eye because the cat got at her, only my bird had a little more class and the only sleazy thing it did was shit in its cage, and never even considered sucking dick on camera, but to be fair to Paris, my bird never really had the opportunity…..

Either way, Lakin is in FHM in a bikini and you’ll want to fuck her on camera while Paris Hilton direct, but you’ll never have that chance, so masturbating to these pics may be the closest you’ll ever get and I am glad to be a part of it even though being part of your masturbating kinda makes me feel uncomfortable and even a little homo. Cuddles.

To See the Rest of the Christine Lakin Pics from FHM
GO

Posted in:Photoshoto|Unsorted

2008

06

Feb

Marisa Miller’s Ass in a Black Dress of the Day

Here’s a little Marisa Miller supermodel at some superbowl shit because I am not tired of supermodels and any events,

We’ve already made it past superbowl monday’s traffic surge because it’s the biggest internet traffic day of the year according to my web hosting company and we’ve made it past super tuesday that I haven’t been watching the news because I am not American, live in Canada and hate politics and voting because my vote doesn’t matter. So I don’t know who won your event but I can assume that the republicans are doing pretty good because no white man wants to see a woman or a black dude in power and no woman really wants to see a woman in power because deep down inside they want to be the first female president because it was a childhood dream…and no black dude wants to see a black dude in office because they don’t even trust their own mother’s enough to not try to rip them off. So the democrats who all want Bush out but look at their options and realize another 4 more years of war really, recession and cowboy patriotic bullshit about freedom, isn’t as bad as having a woman or a black dude ruin what the country has worked so hard against the since the inception of the president’s job description….

I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know a mode when I see one, actually I don’t, I just ask every girl I meet if she’s a model because it tricks them into thinking that I think they are hot enough to make a living off their looks, and that’s usually enough of a glaze over their eyes to get them happy enough to show me their vaginas…..and this is Marisa Miller from Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret and her big breasts in a black dress that you could have probably figured out on your own, provided you aren’t blind, which I think is a safe assumption since you’re making a conscious effort to not read this and not actually not reading it because the whole world is night all the time for you…..

I think that was called rambling on. I’ll stop now…


Related Posts:

Mairsa Miller Trying on Lingerie
Marisa Miller Bikini Photoshoot Pictures
Marisa Miller Body Painted
Marisa Miller and Other Sluts at the SI Party

Posted in:Black Dress|Unsorted

2008

05

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

Anyone who reads this website knows that I hate Sarah Silverman. I think she tries too hard to be offensive and inappropriate and I probably just find it all very offensive because she’s ugly and doesn’t make me laugh or turn me on.

Anyway – I hate giving her publicity, but she shouted out Diet Snapple in her stupid video that you’ve already seen that she made for her boyfriend’s 500th show event or some shit last week……and now Snapple wrote this letter to Jimmy Kimmel trying to cash in on the video. So this is the letter Snapple wrote to Kimmel, that I assume was attached to a case of Diet Snapple because corporate America is taking over the world.

Hey Jimmy,

Heard that you found out about Sarah f*cking Matt Damon. Sorry you had to find out that way and that my sublime flavor blinded you to Sarah’s philandering ways.

In an attempt to console you, here’s a whole lotta me for you to enjoy. Hopefully it will numb the pain. In fact, if your viewers want to share their girlfriend/boyfriend is f*cking someone else story on air , they can have a case of me too…

Anyway, keep your spirits up. It’s not like she was f*cking Ben Affleck or anything. Now that would have been embarrassing.

Diet Snapple

Oh Diet Snapple, Why you gotta be funnier than me. Here is the stupid video they are talking about:

Now I can go kill myself but before I do, Here are my links

John Mayer Wearing the Borat Bikini because I Guess He’s Trying to Be Funny Now That He’s Fucked Jessica Simpson
GO

Some Club Sluts in their Bras
GO

Model Gisele Bundchen In Action Video
GO

Hot famous biker girl gets real dirty
GO

Some Webcam Shit Pouring Fiji Water On Her Stripping Thonged Self
GO

The Spice Girls Make an Apology for Cancelling Their Tour and They Are Full of Shit
GO

Girls Making Out Because They Are in College Video
GO

Her Name is Verona Feldbusch and This Her Nipple
GO

Paris Hilton is Not As Hot as Her Fake Tan and Lazy Eye
GO

Paris Hilton in Red on Her Way to Her Movie After Party Because She’s Going to be on L-Word
GO

Some Old Dirty Paris Hilton Upskirt Pictures
GO

Ears Singing the I Want to Fuck You Song…..
GO

Here is the Gemma Atkinson Gallery For You Gemma Atkinson Fans
GO

Rose McGowan’s Tits Getting Checked Out By Some Fashion Designer
GO

Here is Some Rihanna Irony
GO

Here’s a Video of a Chick Eating a Caterpillar
GO

I wonder if Brittany Murphey’s Other Lips are this Sexy
GO

Public Squash Made me Laugh
GO

Some Chick Named Dasha Showing Off Her Pretty Perfect Naked Body
GO

Mandy Moore is Fat for Fashion Week
GO

Fat Tyra Showing Off Her Fat TIts
GO

Kim Kardashian is Being Sued For Letting Some Dude Piss on Her on Video or something Equally Boring
GO

Dita Von Teese Travels like it’s 1889
GO

The Paparazzi are Hilarious and Released these Exclusives of Heath Ledger’s Middle School
GO

Guess Who Insured Their Chest Hair for 7 Million Dollars….It’s Pretty Sexy
GO

Check Out This KnickerPicker Website
GO

Laura Torrisi is Some Italian and She’s Half Naked in a Magazine
GO

A Man and His Banana For Japanese TV Makes Me Laugh
GO

Some Porn Stars Talk Politics Video
GO

Check Out the University of Kentucky Cheerleader Calendar
GO

Her Name is Cinthia Moura and This is Her Hot Topless Scene From a Movie
GO

Some Hindi Actress Named Janki Shah Shows Her Tits in This Clip
GO

Part 2 of the French Stewardess Stripping – With a Little Vagina Action
GO

Some Jackass Shows You How to Test Condoms When there’s No Pussy Around
GO

Some Dumb Kid Gettng Owned Because He’s an Idiot
GO

Here’s Another Hooters Girl Who Has Made the Move to Playboy
GO

Here’s a Brittany Skye Gallery because She’s Some Kind of Famous Pornstar You Haven’t Seen Naked Enough
GO

This is an Ad for a Gym that Features a Group of Nuns Drawing a Naked Person because Nuns are Horny and Nakedness in Art is Acceptable Nakedness according to God.
GO

Here are Some Teens Kissing Each Other in Video
GO

Christina Aguilera Blows Penis….Balloons…
GO

Hookers For Jesus
GO

50 Cent Made Paris Hilton Cry
GO

Here is the 2008 Krispy Kreme Calendar
GO

Some Chick Attacking a Cop Video
GO

50 Cent Says that America Is Not Ready for a Black President
GO

So It Turns Out a Swollen Vagina Can Ruin Wanting to Fuck a Hot Chick
GO

Some Dude Gets Busted Fucking His Chick on the Toilet at a Party Video
GO

Some Pre and Post Breast Implant Pictures of Some Chick
GO

Some Chick Named Carmen’s Masturbation Video
GO

This kid loses all his front teeth when he hits a cement wall
GO

Here’s a NSFW Grandma Orgy Video
GO

Some Chick Named Selena Spice Showing Off Her Body Video
GO

Jennifer Anniston is Jealous of Angelina Jolie’s Pregnancy
GO

Jordan’s Tits are Still Too Big
GO

Here’s Some Stacy Keibler Hanging With Whores Pictures
GO

Get Some Porn…Because You Don’t Masturbate Enough…
GO

Use This To Increase Your Chance in Getting Sex…Because You Masturbate Too Much
GO

Go Here To Find Girls to Fuck Because You Masturbate Alone Too Often….
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Tellar Star Feels Herself
GO

Hustle and Flow Soundtrack
GO

Seether – Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces
GO

Brian Regan – I walked on the Moon
GO

Megadeath – Countdown to Extinction
GO

Trace Adkins – American Man Vol.II
GO

Luscious Jackson – Natural Ingredients
GO

Machines of Loving Grace
GO

Hawthorne Heights CDS
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

05

Feb

Bar Rafaeli in a Bikini for Leo of the Day

Every virgin who already posted these pictures seems to think it’s amazing that Leonardo DiCaprio is slamming this bitch after years of slamming Gisele and I think that it’s really not that impressive. I may not be gay enough to determine whether dude is good looking, but every woman I’ve ever come across thinks he is and that doesn’t even touch on the fact that he is famous and has a boat load of money. So the reality is that I am surprised that dude’s slamming this bitch and not having orgies with bitches who look like Bar Rafaeli and who are more famous than this Israeli I’ve only heard of because of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Either way, the good news is that Bar Rafaeli hasn’t been suicide bombed by the arabs in her home country and is frolicking around in a bikini so you fools can just her imperfections to make the fat pig you’ve been banging a little easier to stomach, and by stomach I mean hiding your dick in her belly folds, it’s a sex move that was created with the national obesity rate going up. True story.

Posted in:Unsorted