Emily Osment, who we all know from her role in The Sixth Sense, when she used to be a pre-pubescent boy, before being ruined by puberty and forced to use his child star, Oscar nominee money, on getting the chop. A chop that allowed him to become this girl who is always in her bikini, because he knows what the people want, and he knows if he’s spent all this time and money on the sex change he might as well show off his assets, because ultimately, he was a boy once, and he knows that boys like sluts.

Not that posting a bikini pic makes you a slut, having a vagina does.

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It upsets me that no one has done any background or investigative research into my allegations that Emily Osment is just Haley Joel Osment dealing with falling off the deep end when no one thought he was cute anymore, you know when his appeal as the young boy in all the Steven Spielberg movies fizzled out thanks to puberty, leaving him sitting at home trying to mastermind how to pull this shit together and have a second chance, leading to some Amanda Bynes in She’s the Man / Jonathan Brandis in Ladybugs / pretend you’re a girl, pose in your bikini cuz dudes are blinded by bikinis, and ride out your fame for a few more years…..I guess no one bothers, cuz he’s always in a bikini, which goes back to my previous point, guys are blinded by bikinis, and that’s all that fucking matters, until you end up going home with him after a lot of drinking only to find he’s pre-op , not that that would stop you, it’s not gay if there’s titty….

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Emily Osment is Haley Joel after he went to Thailand to get his dick chopped off cuz being an awkward male child star post puberty is hard to deal with….and nothing a little chop / chop hormone therapy can’t fix…because girl’s have it easy…and all they need to do is get in a bikini for validation, even when the paparazzi don’t care to document them doing it, they can do it themselves….just turn to social media if you don’t believe me…so many hot bikini girls get 1000s of likes and follows for doing nothing but posing in a bikini…I mean even fat chicks who get naked on cam get followers…cuz dudes are pathetic and can’t help but liking anything and everything with a vag…..even when we hate them and their gold digging, fame whore, parasite who steal our freedom ways….

Unless she is in fact his sister who used his fame as a wrung in the ladder, to which I say who cares…she’s in a bikini, let’s celebrate, born with a dick or not.

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My ongoing Emily Osment joke is that she is Haley Joel Osment….and it never gets old…if anything, the more I say it, the more real it feels….now a little backstory for those of you who don’t understand….Haley Joel Osment was the Jennifer Lawrence of his time, Oscar nominated at 8, cast in every movie that needed a kid, or that was made by Steven Spielberg….but then he hit puberty….and no one wanted to touch him….cuz puberty made him fucking awkward and the only way to get that taste of fame that he was so addicted to….was to repackage himself as a chick….and thus the transformation began….and today it brings us to the beach in her bikini….

I could be wrong about my theory…it happens…but I think it makes her more interesting and that if anything she should hire me to be her publicist…I do magical things with lies….

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My ongoing Emily Osment joke, yes I have an ongoing Emily Osment joke, no I don’t know what that says about me, but I do know that no one laughs at it..because I haven’t been funny on the internet since 2005 when I realized the internet is a cold dark place and none of my jokes really mattered in this scary world….and even if they did matter some hack writer for some shitty TV show would just steal my one moment of gold and put it out there for the world to think he came up with it….but I still come back everyday to cry about those glory days that were hardly glorious at all…

Either way, the joke is that Emily Osment is the dude from Sixth Sense’s sister who has a career, while he’s just faded into awkward since puberty obscurity, never to be seen again, making me think he got on hormones, repackaged himself as this poptart, that’s why she’s showing off tit, cuz she’s so happy with how they’ve grown in, because dude’s an Oscar nominee at 6, and pulling this off would be easier than if he was Chaz Bono….

See…

No one laughed….

Here’s the pic…

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I don’t know much about Emily Osment, but I do know that she’s got a crazy fan base that send me hate mail everytime I say that she’s actually Haley Joel Osment after his sex stage cuz being a child star fucked him up so hard and the reality that he was no longer cute setting in at a young age, after having an addiction for being wanted…or deemed cute…has led to turning himself into a chick…cuz chicks always get love for being chicks…even when they are ugly…cuz guys are perverts and other girls are too nice to hate on them…..

Here are her hormonally enhanced breast on blast for instagram….wonder when she’ll get nominated for her next Oscar…like it was Sixth Sense all over again…

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I think I am the only one who finds it funny to have a conspiracy theory about Emily Osment…you know that she’s Haley Joel Osment after his sex change…like this shit was Amanda Bynes in She’s a Man…or Rodney Dangerfield’s dainty Jonathan Brandis pre suicide in Ladybugs…pulling the broken child star out of the depths of hell…and re-packaging it as a cute girl…cuz no one cares about him anymore thanks to puberty and the only way to stunt that shit is hormone therapy….

It makes total sense to me…and here he is in a Corset…in what may be the least erotic pic I’ve seen of someone in a corset….I guess he hasn’t fully grasped how to move like a lady…

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Haley Joel Osment is an interesting child star because he has become Emily Osment….

You know most child stars, when they are no longer cute or interesting to the public, you know after puberty….turn to drugs and self-destruction to deal with the rejection the world has thrown there way…but this proactive young man…said…you know what…I’m gonna do this girl thing cuz life is way easier for girls..girls don’t even have to be hot or pretty…they just have to be willing to get half naked…

So here he is promoting himself in a bikini for his instagram….unless this is actually his “sister” and not just a front…but how would you explain them never being in the same room, at the same event, or in the same picture….

Exactly.

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I like to make fun of Emily Osment because I just assume she is Haley Joel Osment from the Sixth Sense after his sex change…in efforts to keep his youthful success alive…because everyone knows child stars are fucked in the head and do fucked up shit the second they aren’t cute anymore…you know dude was nominated for an oscar at 10 or some shit…and it went all down hill for him…peaking at 10 sucks…so he decides to reinvent himself as a chick and have a second stab at a career….at least that is what I assume happened…but I guess that would make jerking off to her twitter porn gay…so maybe we’ll just go along with the “This is his sister” story they are feeding us…it is best for all parties involved….

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Rememeber that kid from the early 2000s who was the default kid used in all the big movies….famous for “seeing Dead people”….before hitting puberty, turning ugly and unmarketable, giving him a complex, forcing him to get a sex change, cuz everyone likes jailait teen girls and no one like pimply awakward boys….it was the logical choice….and here he is showing off his post op hormone therapy titties….

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