In the event you don’t remember the unrated “Blurred Lines” video for a song by Alan Thicke Jr and Pharrell Williams, here it is:

Well, Hayden Panettiere, decided to jump into the mix and do some awkward dancing like my favorite set of tits I write poetry for, even though she pretends I don’t exist, as most people do with their creepy stalkers….

She tried to twerk….because twerking is the future of white people dances, even though the darks have been doing it forever…

And I’m into it, but only because it reminds me of the day Emily Ratatatatatatatakowski and I first met, I mean she wasn’t actually there, but pictures of her tits were, and it’s been pretty consuming ever since, I mean as consuming as an ADD ridden pervert who likes all pussy, can be….

It is about 3 minutes in.

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I thought girls who got implants didn’t wear bras…what the fuck is going on here Hayden Panettiere. I guess getting engaged has made her gone soft. I thought we had hope for her now that she was proportional to her shoulders. I really believed topless scenes were coming, then she got engaged, and does this…a total waste of implants.

If she’s gonna disappoint, she should just go back to practicing juggling and balancing on a beach ball for the strong lady freak act in the traveling circus she belongs in. If only it was the 1920s still.

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In case you didn’t realize, since you have no job, friends or family, and all you have is the internet and Role Playing Games, it’s Memorial Day…

To some, it is the first day of summer, the internation day for the BBQ, the day girls bust out their bikinis…because it seems like everyone is in their fucking bikinis, including Hayden Panettiere…

Making it the official first day of the year for a titty implant reveal…you know all other new implant titty reveals before today were just practice for today….

So here she is having fun with her new friends….

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Hayden Panettiere is dressed like a stripper on her first dance…you know the slow and romantic one that sets the mood before she comes back on for her second dance and shows her vagina…you know that or the poor girl at prom who bought her dress at some discount bin at the sex shop…and really it works for me, because strippers are the only girls I can count on…you know they never say know to ten dollars to touch their titties….and the trashier Hayden Panettiere looks, the more she suits her implants, and her plastic surgery ridden mom who sucked a lot of dick to give her this life…

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Hayden Panettiere wore a skimpy bikini in Miami….all poppin’ her booty out like this was a hip hop video…and it wasn’t as horrible as you’d expect, or as horrible as I’d expect, because Hayden Panettiere always creeped me out. I fear trolls.

She was built like a shit house, with shoulders you’d be scared to wrestle, but now they have a set of fake tits attached to them….balancing them out…

Bringing her from circus freak you’d expect to see filling up a small car with her other clown buddies….to girl filling up a skimpy bikini bottom….a better strategy for everyone involved. I endorse these pics.

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This is probably one of the worst Vine videos of all time….not because it stars Hayden Panettiere, even though she does nothing for me, not even with her implants, but because they are talking about periods and there’s just nothing worse than girls talking about their periods. I get it happens, sometimes I even fuck periods, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear about the shit/blood, or more importantly, it doesn’t give a bitch the right to complain, act moody, overeat and cause problems in my fucking life. So whether Hayden Panettiere showing off her tattoos and broad manly shoulders, trying to be funny on set of Nashville, or my fucking wife, who luckily is obese and hasn’t had her period in a decade, the shit is equally not fucking hot, unless you have a period fetish, and some of you do, I guess fertility, post-puberty, blood excites you, creep. So this one’s for you.

Here are some promo pics I probably posted last month on set promoting her implants / her new show….depending on who you talk to…there are two school of Hayden Panettiere analysts.

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As much as I hate Hayden Panettiere, or hated her in the past, you know for being famous and having a fan base, despite her midget build, shitty tits, thick legs, and overally massive head that was almost comical. You know a career built on her stripper looking mother’s Soap Star fame…..but for some reason, that may be her interest in saving the dolphins, marine mammals are my aphrodisiac you know, but it probably has more to do with implants that just balance her out in a good way….because implants, despite my hatred for them…can make a girl a better person than she once was…..

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I guess Hayden Panettiere is keeping fit, cuz these pics of her jumping around like a clown at the circus, something she holds close to her heart, because that’s what she would be if this was another generation, while instead she is just a clown on TV, all midget but not juggling.

I figure she’s doing this fitness thing, cuz no one like a fat chick, especially not on TV, or at her wedding, that is happening soon, and I am just happy she shared, because it paves the way for her leaking more intense pics when people stop paying attention to her again, as they will.

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I am not someone who thinks that up until today, Hayden Panettiere has been putting all that much energy into her look, her fitness, her overall sexiness. Unlike her mother, who is like a typical Soap Opera cat woman with too much surgery, Hayden’t stuck to just implants. But I will say, she’s never been overly fat. Overly muscular yes. But never fat.

So hearing her be engaged, now seeing her down a bag of Oreos, that unless
this is product placement, you know a paid ad spot, and I am sure it is, cuz Celebs don’t endorse shit without a paycheck. It is safe to say now that she’s getting hitched, it is all downhill.

Stay tuned for dumpy Hayden in 12-24 months. That’s my prediction.

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The fact that Hayden Panettiere has this weird cult following of virgin fan boys is weird to me, but not as weird as when I visualize her getting fucked by her 6 foot 6 boxing champion boyfriend, who could have a mico-penis, making it a comical clown car experience, something Hayden the circus freak is probably used to, but who could just easily have a massive cock that breaks her in half, reminding her of a time when her mom used her in a sex ring as a child, the way her vagina likes it.

Well, turns out they are getting married…because that’s what people do for some weird reason I’ll never understand, much like how I will never understand how Hayden has a fan base.

I like making things about myself like that….

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