Helena Bonham Carter Archives Archive

2015

11

Feb

Helena Bonham Carter Naked with a Tuna of the DAy

Here’s another naked celeb who probably shouldn’t be naked, since she’s 100 years old, but is naked anyway, because that’s how you generate buzz for your charity of choice – FISHLOVE – that supports protecting the marine environment even though she is “phobic of fish”….

This whole thing reminds me of that viral video of the guy and his friends getting blowjobs from a fish…that I know you all saw and went to the pet store to try to recreate….

I’m just glad there was no fish insertions, and the good news about posing nude with dead fish is the obvious…everyone blames the dead fish for the smell…not the vaginitis from being a dirty fucking used up celebrity…

All this to say…it’s a little too fishy for the amount of labia…

Posted in:Helena Bonham Carter

2013

04

Jun

Helena Bonham Carter Sexes it Up of the Day

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Helena Bonham Carter creeps me the fuck out in every single move she’s done. From Fight Club to Alice in Wonderland, her goth weirdness is anything but sexy to me, if anything it is like some horrible horror movie character Tim Burton crafted in his weirdo basement when doing the research for Edward Scissor hands….

But that doesn’t mean I don’t like her, I mean I fear most women, especially when they are willing to fuck me, it’s like “What’s the fucking catch, do you have aids, is this an attempt to murder me because you’re in a lesbian tribe of dick killers” kinda thing…I only trust a girl who doesn’t want to fuck me…

Either way, she’s old. She looks LIKE SHIT IN A BIKINI but I guess some devil’s magic went down in this shoot Vogue UK’s July 2013 issue, because I find her hot…and that scares me more than her witchcraft.

Posted in:Helena Bonham Carter

2011

09

Dec

Helena Boner-Carter See Through of the Day

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These are some really sexy pics of Helena Bonham-Carter showing her gothic, witch, intense, haggard, possibly high and amazing small tits in a black bra and see through shirt, and as erotic as these pictures are…I still think this bitch is genius…I wish she did more porn…cuz sometimes you don’t have to be hotness to make me want to stick my dick between your A-Cup Tim Burton Owned titties….Sometimes you just have to be rich and famous. I’m so superficial.

Posted in:Helena Bonham Carter

2009

24

Aug

Helena Bonham Carter in Her Bathing Suit Scares Me of the Day

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Remember this bitch from Fight Club? Well it looks like that her common law husband, Tim Burton turned her into one of the gothic monsters you’d find in one of his movies. Only I don’t remember Beetle Juice or Edward Scissor Hands or even Pee Wee’s big adventure being a sloppy fat bitch in a bikini….maybe he based this look off the movie Big Fish and he pulled it off by letting her on set of Charlie and the Chocolate factory…..cuz he got turned on shooting Planet of the Apes and wanted his woman to have the same fuckin’ body type as those motherfuckers…..

I always thought Goths liked to look more like dying corpses but I guess she is keepin it real since she looks like fuckin’ hell.

You liked that play on words didn’t you. I’m sure I coulda done better but it’s the end of the fuckin’ day, now stare at this cellulite ridden ass and have nightmares…that’s all Tim Burton wanted in makin her look like this….