Izabel Goulart pulled a Lady Gaga and showed up to an event relatively pantsless….in a leotard…only unlike Lady Gaga…the boners were not on the clits of lesbians…who love her message and don’t really care about looks…as most lesbians…have ugly partners…but instead on the boners of everyone….this lingerie model is like Santa Claus…only instead of molesting kids and buying their silence with gifts…she’s molesting my eyes….

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I posted some of the pics from this Izabel Goulart shoot the other day…I wasn’t sure what it was for…but I had a feeling it was going to be good and it turns out it is for Elle Brazil….and it turns out that what I saw was just a glimpse into her rocking fucking body…all toned, lean, long and lovely…almost making me wonder why she was fired from Victoria’s Secret, when shit like this is all Victoria’s Secret needs to make me forget they are the most boring company in fashion and lingerie in the game…they just happen to be the evil big beast that we can’t fucking avoid…and the women they recruit…or abduct with promises of fame…who they likely underpay cuz they know so many other girls would DIE to be in their position…just happen to be fucking amazing to fucking look at….especially when being shot by better photogs…for better publications…without the concern of Christian midwesterns showing up at the Ohio office with torches and a lynch mob…cuz Jesus and the Evangelical church they are members of do not promote or accept lingerie models who don’t have their nipples photoshopped out…..

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Izabel Goulart is a model and here she is in a magazine with hard nipples and sometimes that’s all I really need…

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Izabel Goulart has a hard face but with that hard face comes a hard fucking body….that looks pretty fucking spectacular in a bikini as she grinds like the bikini model she is….but that would look a lot fucking better grinding hard against my face….

I want to play with her….using my penis….to make her my sex kitten that my penis wears as a mitten….but that’s kinda how I feel about all girls…especially when I’m looking at them half naked in picture…

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Izabel Goulart is a good Brazilian model….who doesn’t seem to mind showing off her body like some kind of exhibitionist because I guess since being fired from Victoria’s Secret…or possibly escaping their evil grip on her and her family that I assume the evil corporation has…she’s just been out partying and crying for attention hoping someone new comes along and hands her a meal ticket and like all models before her…It is safe to asssume it will be some billionaire who is down with ex models, who still get to walk the runway sometimes, and the only thing sad about all that is that I am not said model…

I put some photoshoot bikini pics up in the mix…cuz bikinis are better than one legged flashes….

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I posted the cover picture of a pantsless Izabel Goulart and now the rest of the pics dropped. It’s friday, it’s nice out, what the fuck am I bothering with posting pics of some model pussy, that’s not exposed, and not on my dick, or in my mouth, running a marathon on my face with no legs…..I just don’t know, but let’s call it social anxiety, coupled with laziness, coupled with agoraphobia, coupled with an addiction of posting nonsense on the internet…..

Warning. She is from Brazil and may have a dick.

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I love me some long, amazing, naked, legs…..even if I know they are photoshopped to look this way….because I know that they belong to a model….and that they are probably spectacular even when not photoshopped to be on the cover of a magazine…

I love how Spain does things….I mean, I am sure when the rest of the pictures drop…you know the inside pictures, they are gonna be fucking hot….you know since she’s pantsless on the cover….which is already enough for me to get excited about….without even thinking the inside pages will have some LABIA!!!

I like the fact that everything is pornographic, even fashion and mainstream publications put out by Heasrt. It makes life more fun for my sad sad self….

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Here is Brazilian Model who I assume still does the whole lingerie thing for Victoria’s Secret, doing the whole nipple thing for Vogue Spain….and if you read the site, you know I am a firm believer in bitches showing their tits for personal gain, money, career, whatever, cuz without them showing their nipples, I’d still be jerking off to the African tribes in National Geographic, not that I jerk off to this, I’m a little more ambitious in my porno surfing, I’m saying I’m happy bitches are whores, cuz otherwise we’d have nothing nice to look at.

I know you get what I’m saying.

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I’ve already posted some bitches from SI 2011 in bikinis ….I’ve also posted this year and last year’s cover girls ….but I figured Izabel Goulart deserved a post of her own…

I figured this Brazilian bitch needed a post of her own, cuz she was in SI body painted in the thickest body paint available on the market, that is pretty much liquid fabric that covers all pussy lip, nipple and pubic hair stubble, but at least we got to see ass crack…so at least everyone’s trying to step it up a notch…cuz in previous years they didn’t even give us that..

On a side note, Izabel Goulart’s got some kind of crazy face I never noticed and I’m not sure why I’m noticing now….Maybe it’s due to a recent obsession with nose jobs and cosmetic dental care….or maybe cuz she’s always half naked and half naked usually erases faces….except for today…for some reason…maybe I’m gay…but gays generally don’t mind ugly faces…just watch Glee and look at pics of Gaga for the proof on that…and that’s all I gotta say about that.

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Here are some pictures of a Izabel Goulart to remind some of you bitches of what you are supposed to look like. So stop fucking eating fatty, no one wants to see you in a bikini lookin’ as sloppy as you do…there’s a reason your husband’s a loser and you’re sitting behind a desk or working the checkout line at Walmart, stop fucking eating fatty, and pull yourself together….if you don’t look like Izabel Goulart, you are nothing…you are nothing….

I think I’m gonna print this post out and give it to my wife for Valentines Day, it is just around the corner, I’ll throw in a gift certificate to al all you can eat buffet and I’m set…I’m romantic like that!

See ladies…I am the ultimate man.

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