I went to a party this past weekend to stalk Jennifer Lawrence. She’s filming X-Men in Montreal, and according to these pictures, she’s in body paint, and looking hotter than ever.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have the chance to meet, or have sex, like I know she wanted, because she got in a fight with one of her co-stars and ended up storming out of the party….which was a bit of a bummer for me…because I like to believe I had a chance…

I mean don’t all famous Oscar winners want to have unprotected sex with dirty perverts who have the hottest blog no one has ever heard of? You know because celebrities are crazy and do crazy things.

I guess not…but at least I can jerk off to her pics…

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I am the worst celebrity blogger, not only am I not recognized by the mainstream media as a celebrity blogger, but I am also located in Canada, so far away from the celebrities, until today, when I found out that Jennifer Lawrence has been in town filming X-Men, and has probably been in town the last 3 months filming X-Men, and I haven’t had the slightest idea since I don’t leave my house, when you’d think this would be a huge deal for a dude from canada with a celebrity blog. Like I’d be out there walking the streets looking for her, calling her name, hoping to bump into her….because it’s not a very big city…but I don’t leave my house for anything but TEEN MOM FARRAH . That’s gotta change, but why bother, when the paparazzi are snapping off fucking peeping tom thong shots of her…I can just watch from the comfort of my own soiled matters, mouldy, basement of hell. There’s less chance of being arrested this way, cuz you know Jennifer Lawrence isn’t down with this Jesus in ways that would involve her willingly letting me singing her love songs and holding her hand and gazing in her eyes as we plan our future.

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This is probably some pretty serious news to comic book nerds everywhere….Jennifer Lawrence in full Mystique make-up has been leaked to the internet….Mystique, a character they probably grew up to and who they probably got their first boner to….making this picture the kind of think that could put a virgin loser nerd in lockdown for a week….but I guess the real virgin loser nerd has already seen the shit because being a socially awkward fanboy with nothing much to do but sit and follow the entire cast and crew of the movie on social media…is all you have…

To those of us who don’t care about comic books, here’s Jennifer Lawrence in a blue body suit for some shitty mainstream IMAX 3D movie she’s booked, cuz that’s where all Academy award winners belong….

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It is the Oscars on Sunday….and I won’t be there…because I wasn’t nominated for anything this year…or really ever….which is a good thing…since it is the only thing I have in common with Lindsay Lohan…and it gives us something to talk about the next time I lure her into hanging out with me….which may only be when the world has totally forgotten about her….but luckily that’s how I like all my women….

Jennifer Lawrence is the big star of the show, everone is watching her, and the people at Dior Miss Dior Handbags jumped up on this shit hard and fast…like a rapist who heard the police coming.

She’s dressed 50s glam, something we know she’s not, she’s covering her tits, and these pics are a waste of your time….and that’s why I am posting them…

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This is just fucking weird…I mean I get that she’s just playing up for the paparazzi, showing everyone that she’s a comedian, like when she busts horrible jokes every time she is being interviewed, but for some reason it just taps into a weird place in my mind, a memory of a woman I once loved, who used to dress me up like a baby, or herself as a baby and get down to business…..and even the fact that thumbsuckers grow up to be fantastic at sucking dick….seeing adults do the shit…just creeps me out…especially after I’ve just fucked them…..but I guess the good news in all this is that no dick is too small for this mouth…giving a lot of you hope for a better tomorrow….

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I can’t figure out if I find Jennifer Lawrence hot or not…her body is pretty awkward….her fame is pretty annoying…but then again I didn’t see Silver Lining Playbook yet…so maybe I haven’t really given her a chance to grow on me….but I will say that her pics at this Academy Award lunch…look more like she’s at the AVNs….all dead eyes, big lipped, hair in her face….on some porn kick not some hollywood kick….reminding us how good things would be if she took that fork in the being hollywood road we call fucking on camera….

I am always down for sex eyes….whether I like Jennifer Lawrence or not…it doesn’t matter.

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When I hear there’s a wardrobe malfunction…my first response is anger caused by the amount of hate I have for that expression and whoever came up with it at the Janet Jackson Superbowl titty flash….my second response is to hate anyone who is keeping it alive by using it in their articles and posts about these kinds of things….and the third is “where are the fucking pics, can I see ass hole or pussy lip…”….

Today’s Jennifer Lawrence ripped dress that was called a Wardrobe Malfunction by everyone I hate….had the potential of being fucking exciting….because ever she’s admitted she has a fat dumpy ass capable of causing damage…but instead the top and bottom split reveling nothing but a little thigh and/or knee…..in what the dress was supposed to do….what a waste.

Spoiler alert – Jennifer Lawrence wins.

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Jennifer Lawrence is running around talking about her bikini ass….saying that the ass in the paparazzi pic wasn’t hers and it was photoshopped…saying it was a 90 year olds ass on her body….because she knows her ass is shit and she’s insecure about it and if you can’t beat them join them in the mocking….cuz she’s making millions and winning awards…so in her mind…shit ass or not….it’s better than your ass…..

She’s young, rich and has big enough tits….in a world filled with tit lovers….but as we’ve all learned over the years…big tits…doesn’t mean tight ass…no matter how young a girl is….especially when that girl isn’t a model…and as Kate Upton proves…even when that girl is a model…

So good ass or not…you’ll probably still jerk off to her.

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I give Jennifer Lawrence a lot of hate….I talk about how she’s signed up to some franchise like a sell out and now everyone loves her….she has mass appeal and big tits and it’s a fucking package deal…but I guess I didn’t give her credit or look into her career…for all I saw was Hunger Games garbage….but turns out she did a legit gig…and is nominated for an Oscar…and despite Oscar being a pile of lies from an phony industry…celebrating the phony people in it…all to make money while idiot fans / the general public watch like it’s a VIP event they can’t get into….it’s still counts for something beyond the Hunger Games hustle…so now I can kick back, push the hate aside, and stare at her tits like a normal fucking person…..because I’m not as angry at her….

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I am not a fan of Jennifer Lawrence…but apparently people are….she’s so fucking hyped up….even though she’s average looking…but she’s attached herself to a massively marketed movie…and that shit makes people care…but luckily I’m not human…and hate her…but will post her anyway…

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