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Archive for the Jonas Brother Category

2009

03

Mar

Jonas Brother Sex Tape of the Day

What are the chances that this Jonas Brother has a boner when these pictures were taken? If they are actually virgins, I’m thinking that it’s pretty fucking high and that makes me feel uncomfortable. You know because this is the closest dude’s had to sex, and this is pretty much what their sex tape would look like, unless he plays on the grey areas and jerks off on his girlfriend, or lets her go down on him, or titty fucks her, or does her up the ass, or does anything that isn’t vagina sex, but as far as I’m concerned this is some overly successful, bible thumping, Disney scam virgin showing the world how he gets busy.

They are rumored to be shopping for engagement rings in these pictures, I figure that was a spur of the moment decision that stems from blue balls and wanting to rip her fucking pants off and fuck her brains out. I am sure we’ve all been there before but it’ll be more unfortunate when they do get married and he does get to fuck and realizes what this girl actually looks like, you know because being fucking horny makes the weirdest things appealing, you know that cloud that comes with desperation will blow over about 10 seconds after he cums and you turn over to see who or what you just brought home from the bar or out of the dumpster and fucked, but in Jonas Brother’s case, who he sold his fucking soul and half of everything he owns to.

Not having sex is not natural, waiting for marriage is dated and even people back then didn’t wait til marriage, they just pretended to. Shit only works in Arab countries where the woman gets shot if she has no hymen, even if it popped riding a horse/bike or doing gymnastics.

Posted in:1968|Jonas Brother|Kiss|Sex Tape

2009

26

Feb

Jonas Brother Dates a Monster of the Day

I understand why the Jonas brother’s are saving themselves for marriage. When you date things that look like this, jerking off to anything is better than any physical contact with them. Maybe it’s protective measures for them to not fall off the virgin wagon, but I always thought the Jonas brother’s were faggots, but now I am convinced that they are, not because of their contrived web of lies and innate ability to shake their bom-boms or sing really gay songs, but because only a gay dude would choose this pussy out of a lineup of pussy to be his cover-up pussy, since he chose her cuz she likes shopping and talking about boys and not because she’s something anyone would want to fuck.

Posted in:Jonas Brother|Ugly Chick