Keeley Hazell Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

23

Sep

Keeley Hazell Naked of the Day

Keeley Hazell is a Glamour Model of the past, since Glamour models and the Lad Mags they rode in on all folded about 5 or 6 years ago, leaving their key stars that they would feed us shitty content of daily to fend for themselves…

Keeley was one of the main girls….and has since gone off to LA where she’s now doing what seems to be the influencer thing. You know hipster shoots on film in the desert or old hotel rooms or in old RVs. You know the vibe…

I’d expect her and her Glamour Model tits to be in their 40s and they could be in their 40s, it’s hard to tell these days with all the injections these women get….but what isn’t hard to tell is if they get naked, even censored for their IG naked, it’s a good reminder of what was.

I do think there will be a resurgence of the Glamour Model and LAD Mag, dudes still like seeing naked chicks dressed like carpenters or plumbers or whatever on cheesy sets in cheesy content. We are dudes, of course we like that.

It’ll just happen when the media is scared of Me Too and is ready to objectify women again…

I’m ready to objectify women again.

Make women objectified again.

It’s what this great nation was built on, and the girls need that direction, otherwise they just post shit nudes on IG, instead of having real purpose or a solid co-sign…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Keeley Hazell|SFW

2015

26

May

Keeley Hazell Lives of the Day

No Comments »

Keeley Hazell was once a titty model…you can see HERE ….I am sure if you were to google her, you’d find a lot more of her amazing tits…

Well it turns out that she’s moved to LA in the last little while, and a friend of mine in LA was introduced to her, and he recognized her name and called her out for being a titty model, and she pretended that she was never a titty model, even though the only reasons she’s allowed in the UK is because she’s a titty model, and got a work visa, and the only reason 45,000 people follow her on instagram is because she’s a titty model…but I guess since we’re nice, we can pretend we don’t know her past, and encourage her future career of instagram model that will likely end in rich husband who likes published models…

All this to say, here she is doing the baywatch…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Keeley Hazell

2012

05

Dec

Keeley Hazell’s Last Bikini Pic Ever of the Day

No Comments »

There comes a point in every Glamour Models life…usually around the age of 30…when they realize that they can’t define themselves as a set of tits being flashed for money…they they need more of a legacy and that they have to be strategic to not walk away from all they know when they’ve held on too damn long and just look pathetic…there is strategy in quitting a life of sexualizing yourself…prostituting yourself…nude modeling yourself…that allows you to leave it when still relevant…opening new doors like acting…or singing…or a brand of lingerie….rather than holding on to it….until no one notices you for anything but a saggy, tired, pile of Pam Anderson…

But the world is a scary place out there..and when you turn your back on all you know..there’s not guarantee your plan will work out…and there is always a fallback in showing your tits for money…

So Keeley Hazell…I’m convinced…we’ll be seeing your tits again…but I will humor you and pretend this is your last shoot ever…liar…

Posted in:Keeley Hazell

2012

25

Jul

Keeley Hazell in FHM JULY 2012 Outtakes of the Day

2 Comments »

Keeley Hazell is in FHM’s July 2012 issue like it was 2006, because that’s when she first hit the topless modeling scene….even though like all good girls she was ready to model topless at 16 because she knew she had rockin’ huge tits and a fit body and that that was her meal ticket…until 2009 when she decided to step back from modeling, because she thought she was more than just tits, only to return to modeling in July 2012, as FHM’s cover girl, cuz those 3 years of pursuing acting was a massive fucking fail…cuz when you got tits like this, it’s all that really matters about you…..it is your only skill set, work it…

Here are some of the outtakes to celebrate her big titty return…

Posted in:Keeley Hazell

2012

11

Jun

Keeley Hazell in FHM UK July 2012 of the Day

No Comments »

I haven’t done a post on KEELEY HAZELL since 2009….Apparently she had a SEX TAPE but I can’t be bothered to look for it, you have google, do it yourself pervert, I’m not your employee, you’re not the boss of me, but if you were Keeley Hazell you probably could be, I am a weak man when it comes to busty topless sluts…..even if they are Glamour Models….something I kinda hate, eve though I really shouldn’t, I mean busty stripper bitches posing, seems pretty solid to me….

Posted in:Keeley Hazell|Photos

2009

30

Nov

Keeley Hazell Showing Off Some Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s some natural looking tits on UK Glamor Model Keeley Hazell for some magazine in the UK that is less uptight than the magazines we have here, because naked tits shouldn’t be considered porn, but for some reason the conservative Christian Americans think it is, maybe because they are old school and like doing what they are told by their bibles, or maybe because they just think this is how the world should operate, while fucking their assistant up the ass in the supply room at his office, because no one is fucking wholesome in this world and the more we repress the shit, the more likely we will end up in jail as child molestors, kiddie pornographer, rapists or dying of fucking AIDS. Let it go people. Tits aren’t bad….unless they are implants, which Keeley Hazell despite her career choice has decided not to get, making these tits a fucking rarity, cuz whores, for the most part think implants are the only way to get paid….even though every guy I know hate the shit….

Either way here are her tits…

Posted in:Keeley Hazell|Tits

2008

07

Feb

Keeley Hazell is Posing in a Bikini With Statues of the Day

4 Comments »

Keeley Hazell is some naturally big breasted 21 year old who has made a living doing lame photoshoots because people want to fuck her. She is also the star of her very own sex tape that was leaked in January of last year where you could watch people actually fuck her.

These pictures of Keeley are from a photoshoot she did promoting Lynx bodyspray, which is an affordable way to shower when you don’t have a home with a bathroom because it is a lot less expensive than getting a place with a bathroom. I guess it’s also a good way for people to whore shower themselves on days they just don’t feel like washing, which is every day for me, but that’s just because I am a lazy slob and feel comfortable in my own stink…and if I was so inclined to whore shower myself, I’d just walk to the drug store and spray myself with actual designer cologne pretending I was trying to decide between the Burberry and the Jean Paul Gauthier before leaving empty handed but smelling glorious and luxurious like I was a designer human…..or some shit….

Speaking of shit, Keely’s bikini is brown, I wonder what kind of stains her drippy ass is covering up. Yeah, I probably should have left that last line out, it was pretty fucking weak, but so am I…hold me.