Mel B may be 100 years old, but I did masturbate to her music videos in the 90s when I didn’t have access to porn, but did have access to MTV, because her stripper hard nipple tits, made the Spice Girls matter…and it turns out that when her booty is round and amazing like this, even after making all kinds of babies with various men, is still looking ok as it does a twerking workout that is my new favorite activity to watch at the gym…even something I’d pitch to teach at the old folks home…

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I tell you what I want, what I really really want, I want to stop looking at Mel B and remembering that in 1996 I used to jerk off to her nipples in a music video..meaning 20 years later I am still looking at her, and I am not even supposed to like girls who are older than 20, let alone 20 years older than I liked them…

But that ass…it’s so big…and round…and tasty…like I could choke on it or something at that fascinates me…especially know she’s had babies…it all seems so wrong…like her choice in bathing suits…

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Champagne Facials are an amazing and highly popular trend that Mel B is probably too old to be participating in….

But the one very valuable lesson I have learned from my trip to Florida, is that old ladies like to have fun, especially when they are recently divorced and living off their rich husband’s alimony and child support and spend a lot of time tanning, wearing bikinis and working out.

I’m talking seeing moms and daughters at the beach, in matching bikinis, almost equally hot, only to hit the bar at the end of the day, to get wasted together, collectively looking for cock.

I mean the kind of women who would mud wrestle or wet t-shirt if the option was there, because really, we only live once, who gives a fuck.

So today, seeing Mel B holding on with Champagne facials, in a bikini, has a whole new meaning…

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I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…..these big black titties to fall out of her dress….but I never get what I want…

You wanna know a funny Scary Spice story? Back in 1997 when they released their first video, Mel B’s nipple were hard in a green shirt, and I didn’t have internet at the time, and would watch MTV waiting for that video to drop to jerk off to it.

I guess that makes her kinda like my girlfriend, even if she’s old and fat now….which doesn’t bother me because back in 1997 I was old and fat too….we are two who became one.

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I’ll tell you what I want…what I really really want…and it is probably what Mel B wants…what she really really wants…and that’s her hard nipple in music videos Spice Girl’s first video body back…but that was 2 decades ago…before the illegitimate babies with Eddie Murphy…and before the replacing working out and cocaine with eating….but there’s still something magical about this angle of her….and I think it’s that magic is that you haven’t died or thrown up staring at it..pretty gross….

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Like eating a vegan sausage at a lesbian bar….her are some pics of Mel B, the Spice Girl better known as Eddie Murphy’s jump off he accidentally knocked up…but denied knocking up…cuz that’s what you do with whores who are just out to ruin your life…provided they don’t have the resources to file for paternity tests like the whores I know… allowin you to change your name, move and pretend it never happened….and not paying out millions to a bitch who doesn’t need millions…all cuz she wanted the world to know she’s not a whore with a fatherless child…when really she is a whore with a fatherless child…I mean unless the new husband grabbing her ass like a farm animal in heat has taken up the job….there’s always a sucker willing to stepfather for hot ass…..

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What better way to celebrate America’s Independence from England by rocking a British flag bikini, like her fucking career didn’t rely heavily on America, and her fortune wasn’t because America bought into her UK pop act, and like she doesn’t own property in America, or let American iconic comedians knock her up even though they deny it….

Blatently choosing sides, shwoing who she is loyal to, who her heart is with…true to her native land….without remembering the hard fact that America won, and she’s on the losing side…..but I guess you could have come to that conclusion based on her mom body….

Oh wait that’s an Australian flag….whatever…this isn’t a geography class people…it is a mom in a bikini…..

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Mel B squeezed her Eddie Murphy illegitimate baby making body into a tight dress that i thought was see through but that turns out to just be another fat black chick in a dress a few sizes too small for her and if I really needed to see this, I just had to go to fucking Walmart, that shit is filled with both black and white momma’s, all tits out, with fatherless kids in clothes too tight…..but I guess this is actually easier…

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