Mischa Barton made it to Cannes – which is amazing – because for the longest time I just assumed Mischa Barton was on the cusp of death, but in recent months she had one drug or alcohol induced freak the fuck out that was hilarious to watch, and one sex tape that got her on Dr Phil talking about how mean exes can be, when we all know she was part of that marketing campaign, a weak campaign, but people like sex tapes…then she did a campaign for low level hooker water in a bikini…and now she’s in Cannes…like a real actress and celebrity from the hit show the OC and the dead girl puking under her bed in the Sixth Sense you probably jerked off to….because dead girls under the bed is your think you fucking predator.

Here she is – GLORY DAYS are AHEAD OF US…

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I don’t know what Mischa Barton’s marketing hustle is, but she was on Dr Phil yesterday, and unlike the CASH ME OUSSIDE girl who now has 8 million followers for being some illiterate pile of trash who America Loves…no one cared about Mischa Barton…

The whole show was about how she is stigmatized for being crazy, all because she was certified insane a while ago, and because a few months ago she had another crazy episode….but it also covered this new Sex Tape scandal, that is clearly a marketing hook, because no one gives a fuck about the Mischa Barton sex tape, we live in a porn era and she doesn’t matter, but with media she gets coverage and interest and it will increase the sale price of the tape that as of now is worth 500 bucks at best….but that they are trying to get 500k for…WHAT THE FUCK….

Well, she’s so down on her luck and crazy and in need of money, that aside from marketing her sex tape like she’s the victim, because she’s not getting work…she’s also promoting hooker water for the paparazzi owned hooker water company…that I guess they are paying her to be part of …or that I guess she is hoping sells sex tapes and the whole thing isn’t that hot or exciting because the main flaw in it is that it is Mischa Barton….

She’s old, she’s misguided and she’s pretty much done…did…

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Crazy girl Mischa Barton is trying to take down her sex tape vendor – playing the role of the victim – by saying her dude recorded her behind her back when they fucked and is now out trying to sell the sex tape for 500,000 dollars which is totally fucking absurd, this is Mischa Barton we’re talking about, she wouldn’t even get 500,000 to star in a blockbuster movie, if anything, she’d pay them to cast her hoping it revitalized her dead career…

I believe this is all part of an intricate generating hype about her sex tape before it is released hustle, because girl hasn’t been this proactive about anything ever, and she’s normally having drug overdoses and doing low level campaigns for HOOKER WATER companies…

There is no way she’s not behind this…I don’t believe the lie and will happily post the sex tape release…that I don’t think anyone will care about…

It’s probably sad that people only care about sex tapes, but even sadder that Farrah Abraham is more popular than you…cuz that pitch moved sex tapes…Mischa will sell like 20…at most….

So she’s getting restraining orders to get the hype up…or maybe it’s just such a bad sex tape that she’s trying to do damage control because it was the fat years….or the half dead years she wants to cover up –

But I call -> marketing campaign…for someone no one gives a fuck about.

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Mischa Barton Sex Tape is Happening…

Apparently there’s a sex tape being shopped around for 500,000 dollars, I can’t imagine in this era of seeing everyone naked that it would sell for more than 5,000 dollars, and that’s just to a rich guy with 5,000 dollars laying around that he can use to get the legal rights to post for jokes, because no one gives a fuck about Mischa barton..

She’s a mentally unstable head case, addict, who hasn’t had work in years, making me think based on doing low level model shoots that she’s on her way to sex tape to get some attention and possibly become a Kardashian…but it won’t happen..

Not to mention, this is the era of putting out sex for free, it’s part of the job, so the 500,000 dollar mark is a little fucking nuts…but I’d still watch her fuck…and when it happens, I’ll be there to watch it…she’s got nostaglic value to me…her show, THE OC, was something I’d watch and bring to college bars which got me laid at least once…so I owe her enough decency to stare at her pussy getting fucked..or eating a bikini bottom…either way.. I am a fan..

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Mischa Barton posing in front of the mirror – topless in a blazer is almost as exciting as her public freak out a few weeks ago – where people called 911 to save her from whatever demons she was seeing, or voices she was hearing, because she’s a broken addict who loves being medicated…or last week, when she did the whole water campaign for a low level escort agency that signs up all these low level models and helps them get their work visa’s in some weird Trump Approved because it includes pussy scam…even though she’s already famous, has her papers…but I guess was out there trying to get attention for not being a cellulite ridden monster….and I think she’s perfect..

I like a fall from the top, still young but so broken from the fall…and haggard from the medicating….that there’s a little more edginess to her…a little more attitude…and her entitlement a little more humbled or crazy…either way…it’s magic…

I wish I was her management…but I guess she hasn’t hit rock bottom yet…despite seemingly hitting rock bottom a dozen times…she’s just too coddled to ever really hit rock bottom…unless she accidentally overdoses which will probably happen…failing me and our future selling her out for sex work…where we will both prosper…I mean who wouldn’t pay 50 bucks for head from Mischa Barton….pretty much NO ONE….

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WOW….girl must have lost her mind- or must be out of money – or must be desperate for some media attention so she’s stripping down into a bikini…and really, crazy or drugged out or not…she looks fucking awesome…

She’s been fat, she’s been half dead, she’s been a fucking mess for so fucking long…and seeing her doing such a low level campaign makes me think I have a chance of mananging her – or at least promising her great things that she’ll believe because she’s at rock bottom…and if this is rock bottom…I’m into it…becauase she looks fucking awesome, is humbled….imagine having been on a TV show and this is your life…HILARIOUS…

She’s either photoshopped to shit, botoxed to shit, or just bloated and I love it.

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Mischa Barton is a great disaster and has been for a long fucking time – so seeing this video of her backing her U-Haul that she’s using to move to a new apartment, because in the event you’ve paid attention and you probably haven’t – her last apartment is where she had a suicidal episode for all her neighbors to witness and call 911 about…as that is how things work when you’re a celebrity child exploited by your parents – who lands a hit show before being totally forgotten…you break the fuck down in some self destructive cry for attention that people like me fucking love…because I am a firm believer that if you’re rich….you’re going to be ok…..unless you die…but when you die I guess in a way you’re ok anyway since you’re dead…

Either way, she’s not dead yet, but I like this fall from what I already thought was rock bottom. It’s cute.

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Here’s a little Mischa Barton complaining about her mother – while crying…in her backyard while high as fuck…

She was recently admitted to rehab for being fucking crazy, and luckily someone captured the satanic possession – while freaking the fuck out….some may think this is terrifying, I think it’s hilarious. I love when homeless people freak the fuck out, and in her case, she’s rich from being on TV and will be fine, I mean sure, she may die in the process but at least she will die with a roof over her head and food in the fridge

She’s been a head case forever, I used to do a series called Mischa Barton death watch, it wasn’t as successful as DRAW YOUR VAGINA and describe it in 10 words but it was still a series I enjoyed…her all unshowerd fat, then emaciated then fat again..she’s been crazy for ever…and here she looks like She Sees Dead people…appropriate based on her first acting job…

Legend, but mainly because sex with crazies is the best, unless this is a publicity stunt for a new role…lol…as if…she hasn’t worked forever.

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Mischa Barton was a girl who didn’t shower for a long time – she was all greasy and fat and disgusting. She looked like she smelled, was half dead or dying, and throughout those years of her self destruction – I still would have had unprotected sex with her using my tongue…I didn’t care the outcome, she was Mischa Barton and thus lovely…

Well, she got her life together, rehab maybe, dancing with the stars whipped her into shape, even if it was actually a sign that she was dead, suicide had happened, acting career over at 32…or however old she is…

Now she’s a girl who shows her nipples…in outfits on the red carpet…looking medicated…but still better than dead…unless you’re necro…

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Here’s a recent insta pic for you to be up to date…

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es I prefer…

Mischa Barton was a girl who didn’t shower for a long time – she was all greasy and fat and disgusting. She looked like she smelled, was half dead or dying, and throughout those years of her self destruction – I still would have had unprotected sex with her using my tongue…I didn’t care the outcome, she was Mischa Barton and thus lovely…

Well, she got her life together, rehab maybe, dancing with the stars whipped her into shape, even if it was actually a sign that she was dead, suicide had happened, acting career over at 32…or however old she is….

And now…she gets to post bikini pics, proving she showers, that once cured of addiction, showers happen, but more importantly proving she’s not fat and sloppy, and proving tI was right all along in thinking I want to tongue her ass…because I want to tongue her ass…even if it tastes more like soap…that rotting flesh and fec

Posted in:Mischa Barton|SFW