Olivia Culpo brought a fucking clown face out in her bikini…

Be thankful for the fit half naked football insertion body this thanksgiving season cuz it distracts us from our natural instinct / fear when looking at this pic….that a small car filled with clowns is going to pull up to bring her to work….and it allows us to focus on the lie she is putting out there…that she juggles a whole different set of balls than what she looks like she’d be juggling…you know balls that belong to rich men…

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I don’t understand the Olivia Culpo appeal.

She’s a pageant girl (trash) who got a following and is now a ‘fashion’ influencer…whatever…sounds like a fucking scam to me…

I don’t know what she pulled to get that big following on social media, probably a scam…digital marketing man, you can take a platform like Instagram and troll the algorithm to matter….it was way easier to do when this one started out this dream and is now coasting…

So she is now being taken for more than the Rhode Island bartender who fucks all the locals she was destined to be…because her egot had bigger white trash dreams like being the lowest level of celebrity….

That lead to Sports Illstrated SWIM photoshoots she’s still shooting or involved in cuz these are new pics of that…she didn’t let that relationship die knowing how relevant SI Swim was back when she was a kid 35 years ago…

Not to mention, it is a stamp of approval that gets her to all the sports events and gives the NFL players she tries to seduce some context when she follows them on IG and sends them provocative DMs, it gives her more validity, so they don’t think she’s like the 1000s of other girls hitting them up cuz they want that WAG life…living off the pro athlete money cuz the idiot knocked her up…she’s got more marketability…and I think it’s all pretty shit, but lucky for her I am not a decision maker, I have no impact on anything, no one listens to me….so she can go on with her scam unscathed.

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Olivia Culpo dreams do come true for anyone into Olivia Culpo, which I can’t imagine is anyone, but she’s got the IG followers and thus clout and thus brand deals and thus people care and thus is a great word I should use thus more often, maybe adopt a kid, probably an asian and name him Thus before putting him into computer programming school to build me appps and make me rich….because not all of us can be like Olivia Culpo and slut out on the internet hard enough to get linked up with a Jonas brother before realizing actors and popstars are queer, and Athletes are more her and her family’s bag…..Rhode Island dreams…

You know her dad and brothers are as hyped about her getting fucked by all the football players she’s fucked…they are just that kind of guy…a Barstool kind of faggot…if you know what I mean.

The nice thing about owning my own site is writing the word faggot without being deleted from a platform run by mindcontrolling billionaires…who are likely also faggots…

All this to say, I’d assume the football players she follows to generate that DM, to generate a relationship are stoked on this pic, but I realize she probably sends them all gnarly nudes to rope them in and show how much of a wild girl she is…

Not to mention, this isn’t even a pic of her worn out groupie cunt….but it’s about an inch away and that’s probably more hygienic to lick….

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Olivia Culpo is a whore…

I know what you’re thinking….”Jesus all these girls who come up on instagram are whores”….but the truth is that she was able to position her whore behavior as being a relevant influencer attending all the relevant events….known from doing pageants and fucking a Jonas brother….only to move onto fuck athletes who she probably slides into on the DM…you know a girl who played fashionable, more than out to get followers so athletes thinks she has a job, or has it together, or is a model or instagrammer, or whatever…when it was clearly never about the brand deals…but about the bigger picture of being a rich high profile person’s wife / baby momma…

There is no doubt in my mind that this trash that brands seem to like is a straight up prostitute…it may be an unconventional prostitute but still a prostitute….and I guess you could argue all women are…but some are more obvious about it…like this bitch with her ass out looking for NFL players to fuck.

Garbagee.

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Olivia Culpo is some instagram whore, who is pretty old, and who has been out here hustling the instagram for a while now…

She started as a pageant girl, which I guess got her noticed…

Then she moved onto fucking celebs that she had access to….all growing her social media audience….all around the time when the influencer thing just happened…and like a Staples “THAT WAS EASY” button…all she had to do was post pics of herself…doing things she was already doing…and get paid…so cashing in is what she’s doing…

From the Jonas brother she was fucking, she’s gone onto fuck Athletes, she’s from Rhode Island or Delaware or some shit, it’s kinda the dream to fuck that NFLer…so she’s had a few of those…

Now she’s in Maxim, which still exists, in whatever iteration this is….new owners or whatever…doing a hot ass in a thong and nude shoot…to be jerked off to as all women want to get jerked off to….and this is the best we’ve seen her…keep up the getting naked for dude magazines girls…

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Olivia Culpo is showing off her instagram tits, cuz tits get hits, and she’s been clever in building her profile so that people don’t view her as some bottom feeder using her tits for attention, but instead following her because of her fashion stories, her access to events and the fact that she’s an all American pageant girl who uses her instagram celebrity to get with as many NFL players as she can, because NFL Players are her fetish and I guess the fetish to a lot of American slutty girls from New England, where being the chick into sports, and the chick with sports DEEP up into them is a thing….a sign of status that cocktail waitressed and HOOTER GIRL Dream of….and I guess that Olivia Culpo dreams of…anything to get more attention to herself as whatever the fuck it is that she is…all brand friendly and making money off this instagram thing….weirdness..

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Olivia Culpo out here for Esquire Mexico – because she is the most important girl on Instagram.

I have no ideal how that happened, she looks a little plastic to me, but then again, isn’t everyone who has made a career for themselves on Instagram…

She was some Miss Rhode Island, or wherever she is from, maybe she climbed the ranks of the Pageant World, I don’t pay attention enough to care…and I didn’t really think anyone paid attention enough to care about pageants, but she has been working the scene since….2012….where she dated a Jonas Brother, got some hype, has since dated athletes cuz she’s all American and has got more hype and is now in EVERY instagram brand deal ever…

Here’s how I think shit went down, cuz I am smart…and will break it down for you…

She was Miss USA in 2012. She won TRUMP’s Miss Universe is 2012. TRUMP Sold Miss Universe to William Morris Endeavour in 2015….WME is the biggest TALENT agency in the world, they also own the UFC…they are run by your friend Ari Emmanuelle who was the basis of the agent in Entourage…and a dude name Patrick who was the husband of the woman who Jeff Bazos cheated on his wife with…

Still with me?

Ok…so William Morris represents the Jonas Brothers – meaning they placed Olivia Culpo as the Jonas Brother’s girlfriend to get her some hype, but to also get Miss Universe some HYPE…the more people talk about Miss Unvierse as if it is a thing, the more it is worth to their HUGE organization.

Being TALENT AGENTS means they are in on every brand deal that happens, every event that happens…They literally rep everyone…so throw CULPO in the mix as their INFLUENCER…and boom, she matters.

She was created by the corporations that control the media…the TALENT AGENCY..

And now OLIVIA CULPO makes sense to me….

Here she is at Coachella

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Olivia Culpo proves that even if you’re a nobody…print media will do a story on you…because they are desperate for hits….

Olivia Culpo is the TILA TEQUILA of her generation – only far less interesting because she’s a safe for work Instagram girl who poses in basic outfits that remind me a Matcha Latte in a pink toned cafe surrounded by Banana leaf wallpaper…

It’s just fucking played out, and not in a fun way, in this stylized way everyone is doing it…and the only reason care is she knows how to instagram market, work with brands and fuck NFL players…cuz they are too brain damaged to know how she’s just fucking tolling…trolling that made her become something Harper’s wants…

Living her dream out…and still not even someone who has done anything ever.

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